Friend With Benefits.):

**Mayra123** · 12-31-2010 11:35 PM

So,I was in a relationship with a guy for about a year.
& when we finally broke up, I immediately starting "seeing"
this other guy but with intentions of pure sexual relief.
obviously thats how it started. just as fun. but it's been going on for about 10
months now. We have alot in common & he even says that he WOULD ask me out
but i dont know whats stopping him. The only time we talk is when HE decides
we should hang out. & then i wont hear from him for like a week. It's a cycle.
I really like him but I dont know if i should tell him.
help!!?):

**WildChild** · 12-31-2010 11:54 PM

Unlikely to go anywhere, but what have you got to lose? You won't get anyone else in your life as long as he is in it.

**Mayra123** · 12-31-2010 11:57 PM

So basically,time to cut him loose?

**WildChild** · 12-31-2010 11:59 PM

He's controlling, is that likely to change?
If you tell him and he says NO, what will you do?

**Mayra123** · 01-01-2011 12:08 AM

He's not controlling. It just bothers me that he says we should be more emotionally connected
but after a night spent together he doesn't talk to me for a while?
this has happened EVERY single time. & i always fall for it.
Last time i hung out with him was 2 days ago. & i dont know if i should wait till next
time to tell him i dont wanna have sex anymore i want a relationship, or tell him right now?

thanks soooo much,(:

**Agony_Aunt** · 01-01-2011 12:38 AM

To me he enjoys it being just sexual relief. That is why this friends with benefits started.

He realises you have feelings for him and wants to have a relationship, but he still just wants sex and nothing more.
This is why he tells you you's should be more emotionally connected, this is to keep you hanging on.

He spends a night with you.. and then doesn't even call you until he comes back for more sex?

You've got to tell him, you have feelings for him now that go beyond it being "just sex". And ask him if he feels the same way.
If he doesn't feel the same way it should end because it will just be too difficult for you.

**Phil** · 01-01-2011 02:14 PM

Tell him you want it to be more. If he doesn't, stop sleeping with him. Use some common sense and show YOURSELF some respect. BTW, it's every guys dream to have a buddy that they can go to when ever thay feel the urge.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-01-2011 02:20 PM

Exactly, ...

Look at it this way, be assertive, and in that, simply put, your not interested in FWB's anymore full stop..If he doesn't ask you out, and tries a week later to get sex, you know that's all he wants and move on.

Every man knows that women get attached, there's no such thing as FWB's long term, only at the beginning.

CW

**WildChild** · 01-01-2011 02:27 PM

FWB only works if you want a living dildo. If he is the only one who decides when it happens, what's in it for you really? There is another term for that - Booty call.

**YoungGirl:)** · 01-01-2011 03:10 PM

It sounds like he is using you... Maybe you should turn him down, make him feel what you feel so he understands...
He also probably doesn't realize what you're feeling for him so I agree with WildChild you have nothing to loose, apart from the sex.. but you aren't interested in that anymore... Make him work for you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like you deserve better