Thread: My boyfriend has no sex drive yet still masturbates over porn

He sounds like a complete a-hole. You said he "downloaded a picture of a previous girl he had liked and then turned porn and and placed her in the 'position' of the female. After this there were occassions where he had added random girls on networking sites and asked them for photos and flirted with them." NOT acceptable!!!! He is not respecting you. Jerk. Pi$$es me off just thinking about it.
And now he turns to porn? And he lies to you? You're not even satisfied when he does grace you with his penis so to speak... I'm not seeing a reason to stay with this douche bag. Even a baby is not worth staying, you can find someone better.

I agree with above posters. If he's masturbating over porn, then he DOES have a sex drive, he's just being lazy and has no consideration for your needs, and it's absolutely not your fault. Move on, find a man that will give you everything you need and deserve.

Originally Posted by pea

Is it all my fault?

Not at all. It's his for wanting to masturbate to two dimensional images of digitally and surgically enhanced bimbos instead of making love to a real woman. Either he's afraid of emotional intimacy or just plain selfish.

This guy doesn't love you. When you love someone you want them to be pleased and make just about any effort you can to make that happen. He's selfish and lazy. He leaves you unsatisfied and feeling like something is wrong with you while he deprives you sexually and masturbates to other women. How is that okay? He cares more about "having a girlfriend" than he does about a genuine happy loving relationship. I'm sure you're not perfect, none of us are (except the white witch ) but are you at fault for his immature selfish self centered degrading deceitful behavior? Absolutely not. Your fault, is the fact that you are still in this relationship and you're trying to make something work that never really existed to begin with. You deserve someone that wants to be with you, wants to please you, loves and cherishes you. He is not the one. Time to cut your ties and get off the dead end road.

He sounds like a right ! if my bf was like this he would get a swift kick up the and told to F*** off might be easier said then done tho.
Their is better out their for you tho, believe that. Just get rid and look for some1 who makes you happy all round.

But if all else fails get a dildo ;-)

Sit down and tell him what you want from him to feel loved, special, wanted... and happy in this relationship. Don't yell, don't blame, don't accuse and don't use the porn as a scapegoat (what he is masturbating over is besides the point, if you focus on that he will miss the bigger issue). The bigger issue being... you want to be close to the man you are committed to.. and he is ignoring that.

Be honest, tell him that you want him, that if he has sexual energy ... you want him to spend it WITH you. A guy may be tired, he may be stressed, etc... but if he wasn't jacking off every day -- he'd find the energy for sex. But meanwhile he's doing that, sure he'll have a low drive because his drive is already satiated. That would be great and fine if he were single, if he were with a woman that didn't want to give/get pleasure to/from him. But that being the case... him ignoring you sexually to only take care of himself is selfish, and the act of a single guy who doesn't care about what his partner wants/ needs from him.

And that is what is really at play here. So talk to him, try to find out whats keeping him from wanting to experience that pleasure with you. Is he worried about performance? Does he feel like you need some big production every time you guys have sex? Are you guys on different 'interest' schedules, like he wants it in the morning, you want it at night? What compromises could be made... is it possible for him to save himself when he has the need to do it... to let it build so that he is ALL over you the next time your together?

There is a reason he is not having sex with you, and its not a sex drive issue if he is still masturbating. The biggest thing here would be finding out what that reason is, if its something you guys can worth through...etc. But if he knows you want him, doesn't care, prefers to get himself off and ignore you... you will have to see the bigger picture as far as if he really cares about you as much as he might say.