Husband not able to satisy - DIVORCE OR THERAPY

**123rai** · 01-01-2011 09:38 PM

Hi..am married for last 6 years and have a son about 2and half year old. I am from india and mine was an arranged marriage, right after teh marriage i told my husdand that i am not getting satified enough and he always use to blame this bcoz gap b/w both of us..time passed...and this talk always use to come up & he never took it serious...i asked him to see a Dr...somany time and he never did....i gave up..& after a year or so..i though this is my fate and decided to have baby...later i came to know that he use to take medicine for seziure which shocked my completely and he is having some other medical issue also. I am 28 year old now.....am so frustrated with my life...bcoz am sexualy not satisfied at all... & fought with him...like and took the DIVOCE topic out...right now he is saying we will go & see thraphist ...and he admits his way of thinking was not right...

He is 8 years older than me & i belive he is sacared of my age... & am very pretty and sexy...he is saying we will go for therapy and that may take another 2 or more years to cop up.Haven't chetaed him at all...but should i waist my life like this...just bcoz i have a son.I am seriously depressed due to this and started seeing psychologist..my be later into anti depression medicine.

what can be done?

**jns** · 01-01-2011 10:57 PM

Maybe his seizure medication can be adjusted so as not to interfere as much with his libido. If his testosterone is low and his estrogen level is high, he may not have the libido to respond very much, no matter how sexy and pretty you are. Nobody may have explained what his medications are doing to him, so he may not even know something is wrong.

Were you happy with this marriage from the beginning or did you want to find your own spouse, but was told it had to be this way by your family?

What is being sexually satisfied in your marriage to you? How often and what types of sex?

I'm sorry you are frustrated. I hope a good solution can be found.

**123rai** · 01-02-2011 07:30 AM

i was knowing that marriage is undertsanding each other and adjustment..had been adjusting teh entire time..including the sex ...we do sex 2 times a yaer or soo.or at teh most 5 times a year..and we had been sleeping seprate after the baby...and he with medication and other issues...I STARTED THINKING SERIOUSLY ABT DIVORCE IS THAT WRONG?

**jns** · 01-02-2011 08:39 AM

Do you and your husband just fool around at times, playing with each others bodies? I think if you both did, you wouldn't be having sex only 2 to 5 times a year.

What is your financial situation and what will it be after divorce? Your social status?

Can you enlist family to get him to be more attentive?

**obnoxious** · 01-02-2011 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by 123rai

Hi..am married for last 6 years and have a son about 2and half year old. I am from india and mine was an arranged marriage, right after teh marriage i told my husdand that i am not getting satified enough and he always use to blame this bcoz gap b/w both of us..time passed...and this talk always use to come up & he never took it serious...i asked him to see a Dr...somany time and he never did....i gave up..& after a year or so..i though this is my fate and decided to have baby...later i came to know that he use to take medicine for seziure which shocked my completely and he is having some other medical issue also. I am 28 year old now.....am so frustrated with my life...bcoz am sexualy not satisfied at all... & fought with him...like and took the DIVOCE topic out...right now he is saying we will go & see thraphist ...and he admits his way of thinking was not right...

He is 8 years older than me & i belive he is sacared of my age... & am very pretty and sexy...he is saying we will go for therapy and that may take another 2 or more years to cop up.Haven't chetaed him at all...but should i waist my life like this...just bcoz i have a son.I am seriously depressed due to this and started seeing psychologist..my be later into anti depression medicine.

what can be done?

i'm indian too, so i can definitely see how u feel about this whole thing and stigma that our conservative societies tend to put on divorce. do you live in a western country or do u live in India still?

you mentioned that your husband is now willing to seek therapy is that right? it might work. definitely give it a shot before u think of splitting...that will be tough on you and the kid.

now the most important thing is your husband's general attitude towards you and marriage. does he respect you otherwise? or does he view you more as just a baby-making factory with no needs or desire of your own or needs/desires which are irrelevant?

if he has little regard for you outside of the bedroom, and its been 6 years, there's a good likelyhood he's not going to change. even if he does change it will take a lot of work.

in that case you prolly should consider leaving because you're still young and thats no way live, child or no child. thats just my opinion. and i can tell you personally, a single parent home is better than a home with a broken marriage. especially if you live in the US or Canada.