Thread: pleasuring self and shame afterwards?

ok so i dont have a bf and i am an addictive personality. i've been addicted to food, pills, drugs, alcohol...now i think i'm addicted to masturbation or something, basically because i'm trying not to start up drugs or drinking again to numb the emotional pain i'm in.

i've been masturbating instead to basically make myself feel better. in a less destructive way.

however, i've been feeling really shameful afterwards, i dont know...(in the words of nathan from misfits, if you watch that show) i feel "cheap and deflated" is this normal? should i stop? could this screw me up emotionally/sexually more than i already am? dont know if anyone can answer those questions for me exactly, but has anyone felt/had a similar situation? help! i dont want to screw up my sexual desires too!

thanks for any input. ♥

im sure i was addicted to masturbating when i was an early teen, i'd rub myself raw, it won't screw you up sexually, but it will play on you emotionally, i was ashamed of myself for doing it all the time but it didn't stop me, i eventually grew out of it, but i don't know what to tell you, when you feel the urge, do something else ??

First of all, you have no reason to be ashamed of self-pleasuring. It is really difficult not to numb yourself in the face of emotional pain.

Don't know if this is quite what you're feeling but I do sometimes feel hollow when trying to self-pleasure and more than once I've ended up crying (I'm an emotional person when it comes to sex.) In my case it's because there's no way to get what I actually need on my own. I may have an orgasm but what I really need is that emotional/physical/spiritual connection to another person. It still doesn't mean masturbation is anything to be ashamed of, just that I misinterpreted my needs at first. I hope this helps.

Masturbation is a healthy relief for stress and tension, it makes you feel good, you don't have to worry about getting yourself pregnant or picking up an STD, so...

Why feel guilty? Just go and have fun!

It'd only be something to worry about if you were masturbating to the point that it started affecting your daily life, like you were missing school or work because you'd rather stay at home masturbating.

I think it's common to feel shameful after self-pleasing. Common, but not "normal" in that there is no reason to feel shame. Most of us have been conditioned to think of sex as something bad, so it makes sense that self-pleasing would also be bad. We come from a society where those who are comfortable taking care of themselves are suspect.
Explore your feelings. Why do you THINK you feel cheap or deflated? Has sex made you feel cheap in the past? Also, why do you think you are addicted to self-pleasure? Is it getting in the way of living your life in a healthy way? I don't think you could find a much healthier way to "escape" a little from whatever pain you are in. Orgasm has many health benefits, and you aren't putting yourself in danger by interacting with another person (who might have a disease or just be unreliable - causing more emotional pain.) Knowing yourself is the best thing you can do to combat these bad feelings.