Going from a large guy, to a small guy?

**Regina4** · 01-07-2011 04:38 PM

I was wondering if anyone else has ever been in my position before, i broke up with my ex of 3 and a half years about 3 months ago, our sex life was amazing and he had about a 9inch penis and knew how to satisfy me in ways nobody else did, in a lot of ways i became sort of addicted to it but our other issues drove me away. so now i've been dating a new guy for 2 months. no sex or anything yet but we've talked about it before and he has told me that he's only almost 5 inches, and hes not too much sexually experienced. i've been feeling horny a lot lately being so used to getting it when i wanted with my ex, but going from 9inches to 5 and not much experience im scared that i'll barely feel him inside me, much less orgasm, which i know can lead to a lot of sexual frustration. i like him a lot and i dont want sex to drive me away from him. what should i do? has anyone else ever been in a position similar to mine? or if i wait a couple more months without having sex will my vagina tighten up so that it wont be used to my ex's penis anymore so it will feel better?

**LanaBear** · 01-07-2011 05:38 PM

Are you willing to guide him and teach him how to please you? This may be all it will take, but you are going to need to have patience if he is not sexually experienced.

If you are, then, I don't really see a problem with it. On your part, you can make sure to do your kegel exercises.

You are going to have to be able to openly and honestly communicate with him though about what he can do to give you pleasure.

**waya** · 01-07-2011 07:13 PM

I've had a similar issue but to a smaller extent. My ex-husband was bigger than average. When I left him and bought toys the smaller ones just weren't big enough and didn't feel satisfying after him. But after a few months of no sex with him my vagina went back to a smaller size and now my smaller toy is my favorite. I do have very toned Kegel muscles, though. So that may be part of it.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-07-2011 11:53 PM

You honestly fear not being able to feel 5 inches inside of you? Do you enjoy being fingered? Look how small a finger is... and how much pleasure it can bring. I think you might have some mental aversion to the thought of going to a penis smaller than your exes penis... but 5 inches is by no means small. Vaginas are elastic, your sex with a 9 inch penis didn't deform you inside to wear you will need another 9 inch penis to be able to fill in the spaces he created... vaginas don't work that way.

And just because a man doesn't have a lot of experience doesn't mean he can't turn out to be the greatest lover you've ever known. As long as a man is caring about your pleasure, as long as you open up to him about what feels good to you -- he will learn YOUR body and how to please YOU. Who cares if a guy was an awesome lover to the last 3 women he slept with-- the last 3 women may have liked completely different things than you do and so his 'experience' won't benefit you anyway.

**Seeker_Advice** · 01-08-2011 04:16 AM

An opportunity to "teach" your new lover about what you like and don't like...sounds good to me. If he is inexperienced then he should be wanting to learn how to please you because a lot of men want to be the very best lover for their partner that they can be.

I agree with Lana and HD as both make some really good points.

When I first got together with the woman I love, I thought I "knew everything" about how to please her...Was I ever an idiot. I didn't know a thing until she felt comfortable enough to share her thoughts and ideas with me. While I always hope to remain a "student" (constantly learning) on some level, our love life is very pleasing and satisfactory for both of us.

I am the luckiest man alive.

**Magic** · 01-08-2011 04:26 PM

Maybe this will make your feelings a bit better, but i'm almost sure that your ex wasn't 9 inch. 9 inch is soo uncommen, the chance of having a 9 inch penis is really small. If you haven't measured it properly by yourself, it's probably around 7 inch. Reason why im saying this is that 9 sounds so big next to 5, but it might not even be 9.

Anyway, what ever length it was, I think you should just ''try it out'' and see how it goes. Like everyone said, talk about what you like and stuff. Teach him in a sexy way how he can please you.

Also, there is no such thing that you vagina gets loose because of a large penis. I think it's more the thought that you have of having a large penis inside. I guess if you didn't have sex for a long time with your ex, that thought will fade away. But don't worry about your vagina being too loose.

**Jim60** · 01-08-2011 05:25 PM

Well I've no advice on the length issue, but tightness wise, If we have not been together for a couple of weeks, she feels tighter to me. Which isn't to say she's ever slack. It's all elastic.

But if you really need a 9 inch guy to get satisfied, you will be looking for a long time, they're not very thick on the ground. And when youfinally find a genuine one, it might be attached to an . A bit like a guy finding a great girl, but whinging that her rack could be better.

Seems a bit weird/shallow discussing his size before getting intimate, looking at it the other way I can't imagine being on a date and her telling me about her really slack vagina over the coffee. Anyway, for all she knows I'm hung like a donkey and slack would be good.

You like the guy a lot, you feel horny, why not just go for it?

Has he asked you the diameter of your vagina to see if he wiil touch the sides? How would you feel about that? 5 inches is quite a bit smaller than most, but if your size needs 9 inches, you are way out of the ball park.

Jeez, whatever happened to just liking/loving/fancying someone and going to bed with just them for that? If you really like the person it will almost always work out just fine, sex is much more about personality than anatomy.

Sorry if this sounds like a rant - sometimes people are so precious they cut of their own chances of finding happiness.

**stressed** · 01-10-2011 04:03 PM

You may have to forget about certain positions, but otherwise it shouldn't be a problem. You will naturally get accustomed to his size because vaginas are flexible.

**evaone** · 01-10-2011 08:17 PM

You can teach him so that he will meet your satisfaction.. it will depends on the performance regardless his penis is smaller than your ex.

**C-bomb** · 02-13-2011 09:54 PM

I am average in size but my wifes vagina is very large. We have been together 20 years or since she was 17 and it has always been this way, not from previous partners but because this is just her. Most of the time when we make love there is not a lot of friction and I don't like to use the word because it sounds derrogitory - but she is basically quite loose. As I said, this has always been the case and I have so hang ups about this fact. However, we still make love almost everyday and are still very much in love with each other and have always enjoyed a very satisfying sexual relationship. I have no doubt she would enjoy being with a larger man more but together we have worked on getting the most from sex and there are lots of options if you feel like you need a little more "filling". Sometimes I insert 1-4 fingers in her at the same time, this is not only erotic but it tightens things up for her. Sometimes we might use a dildo at the same time for dual vaginal penetration. Othertimes we make love and she just lays there enjoying being kissed, even though she can't even feel that I am moving in and out of her. I am sure if you work with your new boyfriend and go to the effort to communicate things honestly you will not miss your big previous lover.