So close, yet so far

**PrincessCharming** · 01-13-2011 01:23 PM

At the age of 15, of course I'm ridiculously curious about sex. It doesn't help that I have a boyfriend who's just as interested in it as me. Since I'm not ready for sex, we don't have any physical form of it (it's a real relief that he respects that), we do, have phone sex though. This is great and all, except I'm unable to orgasm, and I have been faking it as to not hurt him.

I have tried many things, done tons of research, but alas, my body does not cooperate. I recently tried an electric Oral-B toothbrush. It was freaking wonderful. I had lots of fun with it, but still, I did not get release. I'm assuming that I was on the verge of it, due to my leg muscles clenching up and my hips raising themselves in the air, without my help.

I constantly feel like I'm letting him down, when he asks if I came, and I lie to him. Is there anything that I can do to try and get over this?

-PrincessCharming

**Texinator** · 01-13-2011 02:03 PM

Don't focus so much on having an orgasm. The expectation can actually backfire and put enough stress on you as to make it even more difficult to orgasm. Start by being honest with your boyfriend. While words can be very powerful and help with the arousal, considering it's phone sex and he's not actually touching you, your physical pleasure and orgasm are in your hands, and your orgasm is not his responsibility.

**PrincessCharming** · 01-13-2011 03:21 PM

Thank you for the response, it's very much appreciated. I will definitely take what you said into consideration.

The only issue I have, is I have masturbated just for the sake of just feeling good. I don't even expect orgasm anymore, since all the things I have tried have let me down. I just feel so guilty when my boyfriend asks me if I orgasm. Lately, I've been telling the truth, and saying I'm close, but didn't quite get there and he's starting to get upset with himself. I've tried reassuring him that it isn't his fault, but he's touchy on the subject, so I don't really bring it up.

**stressed** · 01-13-2011 03:55 PM

Ask him to stop asking you "if it happened" or not every time, because it adds stress. It's not him, it's not you. Keep trying what feels good when you're alone and when you're with him, but ask him to do you the favor of stop asking. It's making it worse. You should not feel guilty about something that's beyond your control.

**Twilight24** · 01-13-2011 04:12 PM

Don't stress your self about this... Trust maybe you are reaching a climax and just do not know it.. I dont know what u expect/// is it for something to come out like u see on porn??? Well honestly many women dont experience that until later in life soo please dont feel bad. And im no expert but there is a difference between orgasaming and reaching ur climax.. hope this helps.. Please stick to phone sex as long as u can that a real safe version of the act but if indeed u feel that u have to have it please protect yourself... It only takes one time to make a mistake...

**PrincessCharming** · 01-13-2011 04:26 PM

stressed
Thanks, I will try this. And I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but it's like I'm letting him down, it's something that's hard to get over, but I will try my best

Twilight24
I don't watch porn, I find it kinda disturbing. It's not the act itself that bothers me, it's just two people I don't know having sex. And yeah, if this relationship stays intact for a year, then I might consider having sex with him. But until then, it's phone sex :P I don't fancy getting knocked up. I will do some research on the difference or orgasm and reaching climax. I had no idea that they were two different things. Thanks for responding