HPV: Questions??? & Tell me Your opinion.

**Iluv** · 01-15-2011 11:32 AM

I am new to this site and when I found it....I just had to ask these questions....VERY NERVOUS THOUGH....
First a little background info.....I have been married for almost 15 years about a year ago my husband thought he may have hpv....we have no insurance and have not made it to the doctors to find out for sure....I never noticed warts on his penis in the past 21 years we have been sexually active..(and trust me I check and still do)....last year we were going thru some hard times and contemplated divorce....during that time we discovered this discoloration on his penis shaft and head that we determined was probably some type of warts....

after much research on the internet he seems to think that he may have HPV which could have taken years to come out due to stress???? (PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU ALL THINK)....I had a hard time believing it as we have been married at the time for almost 14 years and not once has he had any type of warts down there now all of a sudden he has these warts that are just now coming out....

In the meantime of all our contemplation I noticed that I had some small bumps in my vaginal area...that did not look like warts more like pimples on the lips of my vagina.....once we decided to work things out between us for the sake of our children and our commitment the pimples went away...however the warts or discoloration has not on my husband.....

It has now been a year since all of this was discovered...we still have not seen any type of physician..

I guess I want to know if it is possible for my husband to carry this virus for 13 plus years or is it more likely that he had an affair...and if I go to the doctor would they be able to tell me if it is fairly new....I had our last child in 2008 and all my paps and everything came back normal....

ALSO NEED TO KNOW IF IT IS SOMETHING YOU CAN PASS TO YOUR CHILDREN...I HAVE 2 TEENAGERS A TODDLER AND 10 YEAR OLD????

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-15-2011 02:25 PM

Yes, it is possible for your husband to carry this virus for more than the time he's been with you....It lays dormant in a good percentage of people, severe stress usually is how it shows itself...From there, any stress will bring it back out...and it is passed on sexually so if you have experienced small lumps then you too have them....

I am not sure if this virus becomes heriditory maybe Stressed can answer that

But, I do know that too many people blame their partner and accuse them of cheating when that's not necessarily the case at all...As I said, it is common, it can remain dormant for many years.

CW

**Iluv** · 01-15-2011 07:08 PM

thank you so much for responding....just reading your response has helped....thank you

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-15-2011 07:31 PM

Expect others to respond as well

Threads can be missed sometimes....

You know though, it's really not a huge issue, you two are together, married, it's un-comfortable and you should not have sex, when they are present, it will just pass more onto yourself... Other than that honestly, it's a horrid feeling but it won't hurt you, kill you....

Try not to stress too much...

CW

**Iluv** · 01-15-2011 08:33 PM

Wow....I just did not think that it could wait that many years....I know before we got married he probably was with god only knows who....but I thought anything would present itself by now...I am going to try to let it go and move on our with our relationship and family....so many marriages are ending these days....sometimes, I think I look for more than what actually be there....I am going to try and not focus on that....escpecially after I see a physician....thanks again....this site is GRRReat!!!

**stressed** · 01-16-2011 02:15 AM

Hi Iluv!

There are over 100 different types of HPV, but all the types are transmitted via skin contact (either direct, or contact with an infected particle, so not just via sex). It's usually recurrence of the virus that has symptoms, such as fever and warts, which can take several years to happen (even 14).

A PAP test shows whether you have HPV or not, so assuming that your husband has had it for so many years I find it odd that it never showed in any of your PAP tests (because it's 99% certain that you have it as well now, unless you've been using condoms since his initial contact with the virus).

Recurrence can happen due to stress, a cold, weak immune system and other factors. And, no, it's not hereditary but the children can still get the virus since all it takes is infected skin particles to get it. There's also no cure for it, so your husband just has to treat the symptoms every time they reappear.

I'm not a doctor and you should both definitely see a physician. I just happen to have learned a few things about it because a relative had a recurrence of this virus a couple of months ago and he wasn't aware he even had it until the symptoms appeared.

Best of luck.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-16-2011 02:54 AM

Stressed, so glad you found the thread...

I just have two questions, it's my understanding that if it's hiding and just reared its head ie) from stress, or what ever has bought it to the surfice, then it wouldn't show in a pap smear previously ...as it was dormant.

And, I suspect, based on your reply "contact" she can feel rest assured it's not heriditory therefore there should be no fear on her children having it, having said that I am aware of the 100's of different viruses so that means , really anyone can have one virus with some form of contact full stop...

CW

**stressed** · 01-16-2011 03:23 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Stressed, so glad you found the thread...

I just have two questions, it's my understanding that if it's hiding and just reared its head ie) from stress, or what ever has bought it to the surfice, then it wouldn't show in a pap smear previously ...as it was dormant.

And, I suspect, based on your reply "contact" she can feel rest assured it's not heriditory therefore there should be no fear on her children having it, having said that I am aware of the 100's of different viruses so that means , really anyone can have one virus with some form of contact full stop...

CW

I don't know a lot about HPV in women, but clearly it would only show in the PAP test only after the virus has started spreading, so it would show in the DNA. Considering that the virus can take years to show any symptoms (and some times it never does) it's very possible that it wouldn't show in a PAP test while dormant. It's also very possible that the OP got it first, the husband second, but the husband showed the symptoms first. I'm just not sure as to how likely it is for the virus to be detected in a PAP smear during the initial stage of infection and then not show unless a recurrence takes place, or if it can never show in a PAP smear before the symptoms. Even if the virus is dormant there must be some changes in the DNA during the first months of infection (that's why an annual PAP test is important, as then the changes would be have been seen early).

Right now it's impossible to know who got it first and how since it's not a case of recent STD.

The point should be that HPV is very common and there are types of the virus (not the type the OP's husband has) that can even be transmitted from babies to adults with a kiss on the cheek, not just by sex. Her children are safe in any case and there is no need to fear.

I didn't mean to panic the OP, only gave my view based on the type of the virus I recently came across

Every single case is different and the only one to give us a really good answer is our doctor.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-16-2011 03:40 AM

I just wanted to make sure my previous replies, research also showed dormant means dormant nothing shows until it comes to light...

OP it's actually a good point, stressed bought up, stress certainly contributes, brings it out, for sure, but anyone can be a carrier and at any time it can surface.

You know your right as well so many marriages fail from accusations that are not true

Stay in love support each other.

Stressed thanks heeps .... you've explained it all perfectly... I just wanted to cross reference a little as I know you have a wealth of knowledge, appreciated, some times a little more info helps more

**Laura_P1989** · 01-16-2011 08:38 AM

hi I watched a programme on the HPV on this website and they mentioned that its mostly men who can catch it from giving theyre female partners oral sex this has kind of scared me as if the body can't fight it off it can turn into mouth cancer, what I think is unfair is that in the uk girls between 13 and 17 are being offered the jab which stops cervical cancer as well but if you're over 17 you have to go private and pay £300 for it and also boys are not being offered this jab.