Race to have an Orgasm.....

**ZAIRA** · 01-15-2011 03:06 PM

First, I would like to say that i'm new to this site, and I would like to thank the Moderators and Creators of this website, because this is a FANTASTIC resource for woman looking for help and 2nd opinions.

I myself am looking for some advice and different opinions.

First, I have to regrettably admit that I have never experienced and an Orgasm from Oral Sex, in fact the only time I have had an Orgasm is when I "get on top". This unfortunately can get a little frustrating, and boring, for both me; and my boyfriend. This is NOT my first partner, and we've tried a few different positions, but lately I feel that I've given up my "sexual exploring" and it's more just a race to have an Orgasm. I don't want to be selfish in bed, but I do want to Orgasm.

Any Hot tips?

**jns** · 01-15-2011 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by ZAIRA

First, I would like to say that i'm new to this site, and I would like to thank the Moderators and Creators of this website, because this is a FANTASTIC resource for woman looking for help and 2nd opinions.

I myself am looking for some advice and different opinions.

First, I have to regrettably admit that I have never experienced and an Orgasm from Oral Sex, in fact the only time I have had an Orgasm is when I "get on top". This unfortunately can get a little frustrating, and boring, for both me; and my boyfriend. This is NOT my first partner, and we've tried a few different positions, but lately I feel that I've given up my "sexual exploring" and it's more just a race to have an Orgasm. I don't want to be selfish in bed, but I do want to Orgasm.

Any Hot tips?

What is it about being on top that causes the sexual excitement to be high enough for you to orgasm? Can you incorporate something in other positions and in oral or manual stimulation. I have never thought having a woman on top enjoying herself was boring. Why do you and your bf think of it as boring? Is your bf good at oral sex? How does he go about it? Is there anything about it that gets you sexually excited. How about with masturbation by you bf or by your own hands?

**ZAIRA** · 01-15-2011 05:03 PM

I can easily orgasm through masturbation. As far as Oral sex goes, I would tell him what to do....... If I myself understood what I wanted during Oral, I honestly don't have a clue what goes on down there during oral.

**jns** · 01-15-2011 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by ZAIRA

I can easily orgasm through masturbation. As far as Oral sex goes, I would tell him what to do....... If I myself understood what I wanted during Oral, I honestly don't have a clue what goes on down there during oral.

Why don't you start by you masturbating with him giving some oral at the same time. If your masturbating is directed toward your clitoris, he can direct the oral toward the labia majora on either side, the urethral sponge, the perineum and your anus (if he is adventurous). All of these areas can get sexually aroused. At the same time that he is working on arousing you, he can be seeing what you are doing with your hand or hands and can start helping out.

**sungem77** · 01-16-2011 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by ZAIRA

I can easily orgasm through masturbation. As far as Oral sex goes, I would tell him what to do....... If I myself understood what I wanted during Oral, I honestly don't have a clue what goes on down there during oral.

its funny because i always say that i dont know what goes on during oral sex either but just dont stop doing it.
first of all, you need to relax, it will happen. getting stressed out about it can add to tensing up. sex requitres a weird mixture of relaxation and tension. what i would do is, continue to try but dont get so attached to the outcome for a while. what i mean is ,just try to enjoy what you do experience during oral sex as much as you can. sometimes it just takes a really long time to get there. i've had boyfriends complain of lock jaw, but its well worth it in the end!
secondly, let him get you really aroused with oral and then have an orgasm thru intercourse, theres no law about how you have to cum.
thirdly, my last boyfriend and i were togther for 2 years and i could only orgasm thru oral, not intercourse. he was way more upset about this than i, but suddenly i started to have vaginal orgasms and that was that. so it can take a while, just be patient with yourself. how old are you btw?

**cathygirl** · 01-16-2011 05:06 PM

Of course everyone is different. Unfortunately, a lot of guys get their "technique" from porn movies, which are probably the worst place to learn about actually gratifying a partner. For me, oral sex on my is not very pleasant with the tongue flicking you see in the movies or the fast licking and so forth. It takes more of a sucking action, and only after I'm really ready for it. Slow, gentle, etc. and then building in intensity. But as I say, everybody is different. Your man cannot possibly know which motions feel best to you, and what feels best at the beginning may not remain the same as the intensity builds. A little "oh yeah, do that" works wonders. A little shifting and some guidance away from less pleasurable actions are good too, as long as you don't make it a big negative. I think all men want to make their woman feel good when they do this, but they aren't mind readers. We have to let them know and that sometimes takes a lot of experimenting. I would share more, but I sense that there's a bit of a taboo against being too graphic here. But if you search, I'm sure you'll run across some detailed technique descriptions that might help both of you.