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Thread: Hand job, blow job troubles

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    Default Hand job, blow job troubles


    Hey guys, so I think it's about time I give my boyfriend of 6+ months a hand/blow job. I don't know if you think that's a long time to wait, but I've been feeling pretty crappy about it cause I don't feel like I'm doing my job, since he tries so hard.

    Anyways, I've just been wondering about it all, really, so I have a few questions, and I'd be really great full for any answers. Here goes:
    Hand job questions-
    -When I'm giving him a hand job, is there any really good technique? I don't want the first time to be a dud
    -If he cums, what the should I do with his penis? I mean, should I direct it a certain way? Where is the cum supposed to go?
    -When he cums will it shoot out of him like a hundred mile an hour?
    -If he then decides to finger me afterwards, and the cum is still around, could I get pregnant? I know it takes a really long time for the sperm to get anywhere, but there's always a risk, right?
    -Also, from your experience, does your guy tell you what to do? I mean where to put your hands and stuff.

    Blow job questions-
    -Okay, first of all, will I throw up? I have really awful gag reflexes, I want to please him and all, but having a gagging girl on top of you isn't sexy, right?
    -What do I do with my hands?! Is it just up to the guy what he likes, or is it bad if I hold my hands on his penis.
    -When he comes in my mouth, will it be like a gun going off? Or is it more calm, if you know what I mean.

    I know I sound really sexually illiterate, so I need the help.
    Sorry this is so long and stuff, as you can see I have a lot of questions.

    Thank you in advance!

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    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
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    -When I'm giving him a hand job, is there any really good technique?

    Stroking it up and down is a good way to start, be gentle, don't squeeze it or be too rough on it... having him show you the way he likes to be touched is the BEST way to go about it. I am sure he will take pleasure in showing you what makes him feel good. Be sure your hands are lubricated, use spit, You can hold your hand to your mouth and and gently get some saliva on it, or use lube/lotion, etc.

    -If he cums, what the should I do with his penis? I mean, should I direct it a certain way? Where is the cum supposed to go?

    Where he comes is up to you.. depending on the position you are in you can direct it to his tummy or just in the air, or at your body if you are comfortable with that. As he's coming just keep stroking until he's completely done... don't let go the minute he starts to ejaculate... but minimilize your stimulation as he's done ejaculating, you can hold on to it for a little while and stroke it gently if he's not too sensitive.

    -When he cums will it shoot out of him like a hundred mile an hour?

    No. If he's very excited or hasn't ejaculated in a while it may shoot out with some force but its not some rapid fire... its usually just a few spurts, it will vary, nothing to be worried about.

    -If he then decides to finger me afterwards, and the cum is still around, could I get pregnant? I know it takes a really long time for the sperm to get anywhere, but there's always a risk, right?

    If either have you has fresh sperm on your fingers its best to keep them out of you until you at the very least dry them/wipe them off, lick them off... whatever.. it would be a small risk but better safe than sorry.

    -Also, from your experience, does your guy tell you what to do? I mean where to put your hands and stuff.

    Some guys will, some won't... its best to just ask, just kneel in front of him ask him to show you what makes him feel good, if he's shy or embarassed you can touch him a certain way and say' like this?' etc... and get his feedback as you go along.

    -Okay, first of all, will I throw up? I have really awful gag reflexes, I want to please him and all, but having a gagging girl on top of you isn't sexy, right?

    Throwing up, acting like you just tasted something disgusting is NOT sexy nope... think of how you would feel if your guy was going down on you and vomited after tasting you, if he was like bleahhh ick... spit spit spit... guys have feelings and self-esteems too... so be kind in how you react to it. Go in knowing its not going to taste like pumpkin pie... but its not terrible either.. sort of bleachy/salty tasting, depending on his diet the taste will alter, depending on his ejaculation the consistancy may alter a tad... from being thick and creamy like to being more watery and fluid like.

    As for gag reflex, just keep it out of the back of your throat til you are more comfortable with your experimenting... you don't have to put it all in your mouth for a blow job.. a lot of guys actually prefer you to stroke it while you suck it.. so you can really control the depth that way.


    -What do I do with my hands?! Is it just up to the guy what he likes, or is it bad if I hold my hands on his penis.

    I doubt your boyfriend will mind you putting your hands on his penis in any way as long as its not rough... but it is up to what the guy likes if you want it to be pleasurable for him, so just ask.

    -When he comes in my mouth, will it be like a gun going off? Or is it more calm, if you know what I mean.

    Its much more calm... it spurts so its not like a hose spraying in your mouth, and keep in mind its only a couple teaspoons, theres not that much to swallow if you choose to, and I think if you don't like swallowing... holding your mouth open while he cums and letting it trickle out of your mouth is a lot more intimate than just screaming your way to the bathroom spitting all the way lol

    If your comfortable as he comes you can also choose to aim it at your breasts for the first few times so that you can see what you're dealing with before taking it in the mouth..


    Also its never about it being too long or too short to wait... you do things when you are comfortable, you do things when you organically want to do them , when you feel respected and loved enough to want to give your boyfriend pleasure... thats when its the right time -- there is no calendar that can tell you when its right, only you know.

    One thing I've learned with my boyfriend is that there is nothing better than communication when it comes to sex... talking, asking questions ... its the best way to live.

    I use to have all the same questions you have and MORE... but as embarassing as it was at first.. I've learned going right to the source and asking my boyfriend works the best... there is not stupid question when it comes to trying to figure out how to please him... I'm sure your boyfriend would love explaining to you what he'd like you do after, before, during etc... all the same things you asked here... you could ask him and get answers that will be much more helpful
    Last edited by Hopeless Dork; 01-16-2011 at 11:13 AM.
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    HD, when I read the question I knew you would be the right one to answer it. Excellent answer.
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    Thank you so much! This has helped me a lot.

    Do you find giving a hand job/blow job a good experience, I mean do you enjoy it? Or is it kind of awkward, and "okay, where do I look...', kind of thing?

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    Do you find giving a hand job/blow job a good experience, I mean do you enjoy it? Or is it kind of awkward, and "okay, where do I look...', kind of thing?
    Your first time may be a little awkward, I mean never having a penis in your mouth before is not going to turn into some explosion of talent just because you have a penis in your mouth. Just take it slow and treat it as a learning experience so that you do not have any particular expectation to be met.

    As for looking that is up to you. Personally I have a huge issue with looking anyone in the eye in any situation so I rarely look at my bf's eyes during a bj, when I do he understands that it is not easy for me but I am obviously trying anyway and he loves it. So you can try to look at him to see his response to make it more silly tone like "is this what you want?", "how is this?" and so on. You can look at his body or do whatever you want just let it come naturally.

    Also if you have never had cum in your mouth definitely let him cum on your body or his body if he wants in order to see how it comes out and the texture. If it is your first time and he blows at high speed with chunky cum you may not want to have that as your first experience. My bf varies with his cum sometimes it bubbles out with no real force and it is liquid-like and sometimes it is like a cannon with chunky cum and massive volumes (talking maybe 1/4 of a cup by the time he is done). The chunky massive volumes I will admit are not what I like to experience flopping around in my mouth but the liquid-like few teaspoons are okay by me every once and awhile. It may take you a little bit to get used to but just remember that you can learn to do a good job, or maybe you are already naturally good and just do not think it yet. He will love you wanting to try it out anyway, some girls will not let a penis come near them with a ten foot pole.
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    Thank you for replying =]

    What you've all said makes great sense, and is a lot of help.
    One last thing (I think), should I play with his balls? He's mentioned before something about a part of him down there that drives him wild, I think it was the perineum? Is that just something I've materialised in my head, or is it like the male G spot?

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    LOL Ty JnS I just have a real passion for pleasing my guy

    And anonimousey... it for me is a real good experience because I am in love... sharing pleasure with my boyfriend, giving it or recieving it is AWESOME to me. Just being close and feeling good, he makes me happy and I feel good both in my heart and in my panties (lol) when I have giving him handjob/blow jobs.

    If this is the guy you love, and he loves you.. nothing has to be awkward.. even when things go wrong, you both can giggle and hold each other, these moments should be intimate, there should be no pressure to be perfect, no expectations, no feeling wierd, just sharing a special moment with the one you love... that neither of you would share with anyone else.

    If you feel shy you can close your eyes... there is nothing wrong with that until you get more comfortable... you can also look at his penis, you can look up at him to watch his reactions to what you are doing... theres really no where wrong to look except for at a wall or a tv or something like that lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonimousey View Post
    Thank you for replying =]

    What you've all said makes great sense, and is a lot of help.
    One last thing (I think), should I play with his balls? He's mentioned before something about a part of him down there that drives him wild, I think it was the perineum? Is that just something I've materialised in my head, or is it like the male G spot?
    The perineum on a guy is between the base of his scrotum and his anus.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    We've posted on this extensively before. HD has given some excellent advice. I would add that you can start with licking. Run your tongue up one side, over the top and down the other side. Be wet about it. The wetter the better generally. Let your tongue and lips explore. You don't need to be taking his penis straight into your mouth at first. Get used to being there and up close. Try moving your tongue and hands in different ways. The rim under the head is very sensitive, circle it, flick your tongue there. French the head.

    When the shaft is good and wet try not just stroking but using a bit of a twisting motion. Especially starting out, its good to combine hands and mouth. You could go exploring with your tongue and lips and get him nice and wet, then start using your hands. Men generally use a fairly good amount of pressure and you can tire your arm getting him off. Keep things wet either with saliva or lube (if you use lube have a glass of water handy and add a little to the mix, many lubes get kind of thick and sticky after a bit, a little water will help more than more lube will). Switch hands if you need to. Ot take one hand after the other.

    You can give him some different sensations than he generally gives himself and he may find that very stimulating and pleasurable. It's not just you masterbating him instead of doing it himself. It can be helpful to watch him masterbate himself.

    With bjs, once he gets into it, he isn't going to notice if you are using your hand or your mouth as long as its wet and feels good. Once you get some skill with it you can switch back and forth with him not even noticing. Many men like pressure on the perinium. You can tell when he getting close to cumming, he will get harder.

    Keep your teeth out of the picture. Fold your lips over them or your tongue on the lower teeth. This can take some getting used to and you may have sore inner lips after. It helps to have your hair well secured out of the way. Do Not let him grab your head and start pumping - this is not a newbie technique. He could put you off bjs for life, You need to stay in control. If you start feeling discomfort - sore neck, jaws, hands or arms, do something different like climb on top and ride him.

    Some men never cum with bjs or hjs. In some cases its a mental thing but in other cases it just that you need to take time to build your skills.

    His taste depends on his diet and it also affected by things like smoking. So if you don't like his taste the two of you can find all kinds of info on line on how to change it. Hygiene is important too. This is a skill and a lot of women never bother to really learn it. It takes practice to get good. Think of it more like sports training (it can be fatiging).

    Some resourses: for newbies, Tickle His Pickle, a bit more advanced, Lube Job, or, Going Down. There are tons of other books if you want even more info. But the best resource is his feedback. every man is different.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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    You've gotten some superb advice.

    1. Be honest and open with him. Let him know you're knew to this and definitely want his feedback. If he lays there and makes no noises and says nothing (I've had a guy do that before), then you can't tell if you're doing a good job or not. Openness is important.

    2. During a BJ, remember to relax your mouth. This is crucial. I used to be so stiff and try to tightly put my lips over my teeth to protect his penis....this resulted in a stiff dry mouth and I'd end up with mouth sores from where my teeth would cut into my lips. You want to pretend he's a lollipop except try to be more conscious of your teeth. If your mouth hurts when you're giving him a bj (unless he's abnormally large), then you're too stiff and need to really relax your mouth.

    3. Lube during a BJ - if you're nervous and stiff your mouth will probably be too dry. A dry blow job is not a good one.... the wetter the better. So after relaxing, try taking his penis farther back into your mouth toward your throat. Don't do it forcefully, just slow and easy, (if you feel like you're going to gag, just move the penis back out a little bit toward the front of your mouth.). By taking him a little deeper inside my mouth toward my throat, I start to produce more saliva.

    4. Sometimes during a BJ I decide to give my mouth a little break and change things up a bit, so I'll give it a good spit (he loves when I spit on it.....loves watching me do it....I dunno why but I think alot of guys like that) and then use my hand for a few seconds, in a really fast (not gripping very tightly...hand needs to be relaxed too, not stiff) motion focusing mostly on the head and an inch or so under. Then I resume the BJ. Don't forget his balls. Touch them, cup them, but be VERY gentle and don't spend too much time focusing on them unless he asks you too. It's good to give them some attention though.

    5. When using hands during a bj...I think it's good to change it up. Sometimes I start out with no hands, and then add one hand mostly just holding on to it under where my mouth is....then I'll add in my other hand so his entire penis is covered with my mouth and hands. As I'm giving the BJ I'll do alternating side to side motions with my hands around his penis (sort of like if you're opening a jar except VERY lightly and obviously remembering you're not actually "opening" anything. haha). By this point, he's so near cumming that I'm actually only sucking on the head of his penis while massaging the shaft in an up and down and side to side motion with my hands.

    6. Ejaculation - all guys will be different in this. With my current guy, I don't really taste anything....and I actually enjoy feeling him cum in my mouth. I consciously try NOT to taste it (I have a sensitive gag relfex too!) so I immediately begin swallowing as he's cumming. Works perfectly.

    7. Remember to look up at him every now and then. Alot of guys like to see your eyes looking up at them some as you're going down on them.

    Hope this helps. Good luck! Remember, be patient with yourself, don't expect perfection without practice. Practice makes perfect. Come back and let us know how it goes!!
    Last edited by Beautiful Disaster; 01-16-2011 at 01:35 PM. Reason: Forgot about balls!! ;)

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