Thread: Too Mature for 14

There are LOTS of things you can do as an outlet. If you're truly mature as you say (and I believe that you are), you will not jump into sex at age 14, because you will know that from a mature perspective, you ARE indeed 14 regardless of how old you feel, you are in no position to deal with a sexual relationship, the protection you'd need, to doctors visits you'd need (Gynecologist), and are most certainly in no position to handle a child. With any sexual intercourse there is risk of pregnancy, are you ready to financially support, mentally, physically and emotionally support a baby? From a mature perspective, your answer to that question will be no.

To understand the association with love and sex, you'd need to understand the feelings of both. Having never had sex, you do not know the feelings that will be associated with it when you do have it.

I'd be willing to bet most 14 year old who are sexually active are NOT experiencing orgasms. Most women in their 20's are still trying to figure that one out. So what will you get out of this? Unneeded emotional and physical ties with someone you don't love? Constant fear of pregnancy? Stress of having to lie to your parents about what you're doing?

You are mature for your age. Make a mature decision here. Not one based on an increase of hormones. If you need a sexual release, try masturbation. If you need a physical release, exercise, get involved in some sort of sport, dance, etc. If you need a mental release, read, write, paint, etc. There are LOTS of things you can do.

Thank you all for the advice, Im truely greatful. waya: I AM ready. Physically, mentally, AND emotionally. There is no doutb about that. And I have waited long enough to know what my body likes, and have a better understanding on how I will react. Im confident in that. What I wanted to know was wheather I was getting into it for a good reason or not. I appreciate you oppinion. CW Im afraid I didnt exactly explain myself correctly. I really do think Im in love with this boy, not just in highschool. That may sound like such a young thing to say, but you have to trust me on that one thing. I want to have sex with him, to become as close to him as possible. I've given him my secrets, my love, and now I want him to have everything I can give, physically. That reason I didnt mention that before is because I feel like that may just be my hormones and I dont want them involved. So Im trying to look at it from a logical view. You are right, I do think part of this is rebellion but, is that really so bad? I understand certain consiquences can come from sex, but if everyonce in a while I need to relieve the stress of being treated as an ignorent child, and become closer with a person I plan on spending the rest of my life with, then wouldnt that be understandable? Beautiful Disater. Its not so much as proving that Im mature enough to have sex to the world, but rather allowing myself to be mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. I do not plan on hving sex with this guy often, but just enough to allow myself to love him, and be for a few moments as mature as I feel. The frustraightion is incredible between sexual needs, and others treating me like a child, and I suspect most of it is hormones, but I cant ignore them. I do know my body, and I DO NOT like masterbating. In sex Im looking for, yes, an outlet, but one for my maturity. I know I keep using that word, but its something I've been dealing with for years, being mature and being denied rights to that maturity. I understand what you're saying about all the extra burdens, but again, I do not plan on doing this often until my mother and I have that talk and put me on the pill. Thank all of you for your responces. I've considered them a great deal, and I feel that I will have to wait a little longer to understand the feeling of love, before I explore those of lust. Thanks again.

I think if you're mature enough to handle a sexual relationship, then you should be mature enough to go to your mother right NOW to ask for her help with getting you birth control. At 14 nonetheless, you need to be responsible, and ensure that you will not get pregnant. Most of you think "it will never happen to me," but oh honey do you have another thing coming... I can't sit here and tell you not to do it, your mind is set and I'm sure you'll go forth with it regardless. Although I will voice my opinion and tell you that you most likely are just experiencing a "puppy love" phase, and like all phases, it will pass. Most teenagers think they are pretty mature, and maybe you're a little more mature than the majority of your peers, but that still does not make you an adult.
I do think that trying to preach abstinence is a little bit ignorant, and potentially dangerous to the curious children such as yourself, I just hope you know what you are getting yourself into... But if you think this boy loves you, do you think he would be ok if you suddenly said "I changed my mind, I'm not ready yet?" And you say you plan on having sex every once in awhile... does he plan on that too? I had sex when I was a teenager too, I was with my "high school sweet heart" for three years, and if I only wanted sex "once in awhile" that wasn't going to fly with him lol. You'll see what I mean, I'm sure.

Conclusively, get birth control now. Like I said, you want to prove you are mature enough? Then go tell your mother what you have planned, and have her help you get what you need. I have a 7 month old, and it is not easy, even at 22 years old, with a husband, family support, and financial support... it is HARD.

You are definitely doing it for the wrong reasons and the fact that you don't think sex affects love shows me your not ready. Trust me, most women become seriously emotionally attached after sex, and a lot of men don't. You don't want to be in this position, trust me. You may be mature for your age but again the fact that you really don't think sex affects love tells me you're not as mature as that.

In saying that, I will say if you do go ahead and do it, do not under any circumstances kid yourself that you'll be lucky and don't need birth control. Please be safe.

i didnt fully read the other replys but what i did get was all the reasons that you should not be haveing sex at that age, and no i am not saying to do so. the fact you want to have sex is one thing all its own however following through on it is compleatly different be it emotionally at that time between your selfes or as you walk down the hall the next day at school and thats when you find out that the other person went and told their friends withought thinking about others walking by and around the area, this happened to me when i was 15 and lost my virginity and i must say i felt embarased about it and also mad that it wasnt brought to my attention about telling close friends or not and im the guy and i can remember that day the same as a photo. secondly your going to be seen as being weird at the very lest but most likly slutty regardless of how you dress and present yourself. third, you may not find out but it is very possible that your name will come up in the stalls of bathrooms or near by allys between buildings close to the school. and i can almost gaurantee you will regret not waiting untill your older. now you say your very mature for your age which im not going to dought since im the same way, how ever the mature person will recognize that they need to wait for a few years, either when it comes to buying the fast car because they like speed but wait till there more experienced or in this case with haveing sex. the moment you put "love" and "sex" together in a relationship they will be tied together regardless of what you do or think especially since you two know each other fairly well to my understanding. the exception that someone already brought up about sex just being an act and no more other then pleasure is only going to happen with someone you have just met and have no intentions of seeing each other again or got together purly for sexual reasons and not careing what the other person is like outside of the sexual acts. and the legal problems that now come up is he could potentially be charged with rape depending on whear you live and regardless of what you say you may be deamed unfit to make your own decisions due to age in which case your parents/legal gaurdians will NOT need your consent saying you had sex with him provided there is evidence. so i strongly suggest that both of you wait till you are older, you have the rest of your life to have sex so why the hurry, look into joining a leadership group such as air/army/navy cadets which have no binding to join military and this in in canada or there is an equilivent in the USA that i know of and have done some work with but am unable to remember what its called since its been a few years, mature people excell in these very structured programs and can be a lot of fun once you get past the learning/drill.