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Thread: Playing with my anus

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    Default Playing with my anus


    I like to think I'm relatively experienced sexually bit recently my girlfriend has been suggesting more and more about anal sex acts on me. I have had anal sex with her, which she loves and always gives her a really strong orgasm. However, she keeps pestering to do more with my backside.

    She started using her finger during sex, as well as when giving me a bj or hj. Which I do like as long as she doesn't push to deep or hard. Then she moved on to licking my anus while stroking my penis, which I admit I absolutely love. Two nights ago, after dinner and drinks, we playing with each other when she pulled out her smallest dildo. She pleaded to use this on me and I finally agreed. Laying back, she pushed my legs up and after a lot of lube, she was pushing it in and out of me at a fairly reasonable rate. It was a strange sensation, a little bit painful buy nice as well. I would not say it was amazing. She did not play with my penis at all but instead used her free hand to masturbate. Strangely I did end up cumming although I didn't have anywhere near to a full erection.

    My problem is she loved it. She came twice while masturbating and says it really turns her on. Because I came she's convinced I must have loved it to and now wants to wear a strap on, so he can have sex with my bum. I didn't enjoy it that much but obviously I did cum, although not sure why? We've done other things that felt much better yet I didn't cum then. She doesn't believe me and thinks we should do it. I'm a little concerned as I don't want to cause myself any personal problems and advice on what I need to be concerned with if I go through with it?, also I am happy to do things that please her but do you think I should use this as an opportunity to also ask her to do something I want as well? Thanks for any advice.

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    July 2011 Poster of the Month Array kristalyn_04's Avatar
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    There aren't any problems with doing this, as long as you are comfortable with it and it's not painful. You had an orgasm from this because she was stimulating your prostate through your rectum, which is pleasurable for most men (sort of like the g-spot for a woman). If there's something you want to try with her, just ask her and see if she is comfortable with that. It shouldn't be a conditional thing ("I let you do this to me then you should let me try this with you" kind of thing). If she has requests or is doing things to you that you're not comfortable with, you should let her know and she should respect it. That goes the other way around as well. If you want to try anal play, make sure you use LOTS of lube, go slowly, be gentle, and stop if there is any pain. There's nothing wrong with it at all, just have fun.
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    I totally agree with Kristalyn04 in that it should not be a conditional thing. I would also say that from a man's perspective (mine), you shouldn't be willing to do to her what you aren't willing to receive yourself.

    Generally the first thought of anal is in one direction...and to a lot of men, the thought of being on the receiving end makes them think twice.

    Early on in my relationship with my SO, I decided not to ask her to do anything that I wouldn't be willing to receive if the tables were turned. Perhaps this might be something for you to consider going forward.

    Open honest communication between lovers is also very important. So I wouldn't be concerned with expressing things you are interested in, just be careful as to how you word them so they can't be received in a hurtful manner.

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    I'm a little confused seeker. You say not to make it a conditional thing then say, I shouldn't be willing to do to her what I wouldn't be willing to receive back. Is that a condition, also she's the one asking for anal. She gets very excited and a lot of pleasure from receiving. It's just I'm not that comfortable with the idea of reversing.

    Krystalyn. Thank you for your reply, it has helped a lot. I really do appreciate it.

    One further point does anyone know of any risks I need to be aware of? Also Krystalyn you spoke of stimulating the prostate, can this be done without a dildo? If so how? Thanks guys.

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    WH Assistant Head Moderator Array LanaBear's Avatar
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    The prostate can be stimulated with a finger as well.

    If you are not comfortable with it, tell her and don't do it. She should hopefully respect you. I'm not big on the whole you do me, I do you in regards to anal. I wouldn't ask that of my husband BUT like your girlfriend, I REALLY enjoy anal, I can orgasm from anal. So, I have no desire to turn the tables on him and do it just for the sake of, you do it to me, I'm going to do it to you. If I didn't enjoy anal and let him do it to please him, my views may be different on that, however, I do enjoy it, so the thought never even crosses my mind.

    Do the google and research 'milking the prostate' or 'prostate massage'. You'll find out how and why you came without an erection.

    Lastly, don't ever do something you are not comfortable with, this goes for men and women alike. If the other half cannot respect that decision of not wanting to do it, well, then, IMO, it's time to reevaluate things.
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    Dan,

    Perhaps you're right...my post above is a bit confusing...don't know how to explain it any other way. My thought regarding "conditional" was more like..."if she does anal on me, then I get to do X on her"

    Placing conditions on oneself, the point I was trying to make, are different then placing conditions on your partner (IMO). Regardless, now that you brought it to my attention, it's still conditional.

    There is significant difference, in my mind, placing conditions on myself "I won't ask for X unless I'm willing to receive X" versus asking my SO "If I let you do Y, then you have to let me do Z" That's the only point I was trying to make.

    Sorry about the confusion.
    Last edited by Seeker_Advice; 01-18-2011 at 11:23 AM. Reason: typo

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    "I'm a little concerned as I don't want to cause myself any personal problems and advice on what I need to be concerned with if I go through with it?, also I am happy to do things that please her but do you think I should use this as an opportunity to also ask her to do something I want as well? Thanks for any advice. "


    Sounds to me like youre talking yourself into doing something you dont really want to be doing.

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    July 2011 Poster of the Month Array kristalyn_04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan321132 View Post
    I'm a little confused seeker. You say not to make it a conditional thing then say, I shouldn't be willing to do to her what I wouldn't be willing to receive back. Is that a condition, also she's the one asking for anal. She gets very excited and a lot of pleasure from receiving. It's just I'm not that comfortable with the idea of reversing.

    Krystalyn. Thank you for your reply, it has helped a lot. I really do appreciate it.

    One further point does anyone know of any risks I need to be aware of? Also Krystalyn you spoke of stimulating the prostate, can this be done without a dildo? If so how? Thanks guys.
    You're welcome, Dan. I agree with Lana about doing some research before proceeding, and really think about if you are comfortable with this. If not, you shouldn't do it and she should respect that. There are no risks that I know of unless she is too rough. And yes like Lana said, the prostate can be stimulated with fingers too... it's not that far up into the anus, you could even try it yourself if you want. Good luck.
    How can you see where you're going if you spend your whole life looking over your shoulder? –Naughty Ninja

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    My problem is she loved it. She came twice while masturbating and says it really turns her on. Because I came she's convinced I must have loved it to and now wants to wear a strap on, so he can have sex with my bum.

    My bolds - not sure if it worked. Your gay, or think you are, which is fine. But the delusion that straight men might be tricked into showing interest in your anus will lead to at best humiliation for you or at worst sensless violence!

    Don't go there,stick with your own kind.

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Jim I think that was just a typo. The OP is male and is talking about his girlfriend.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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