Thread: Body issues affecting sex

I've had two kids within a short amount of time. So of course I got stretch marks. They aren't bad, but of course ts an imperfection on my body and I don't like it. Although I will say I have an amazing body for having two kids. I don't have any flab or the "baby belly". It's just the faded stretch marks. My husband swears they don't bother him and that I still have an amazing body. It's affected how I view myself now. I don't like having sex with the lights on, or in daytime. My husband says they don't bother him at all because it's not that I got fat, I had our babies, so they are good stretchmarks. Still though, Its been two years and I still have issues with having sex in the light or showing my skin. Has anyone else had this problem? It's kinda affecting our sexlife since I only want to do it at night, and by that point, dice we have two babies, we are exhausted and want to sleep. Any ideas on ways of boosting my confidence so me and my SO can get it on in the daytime without me worrying about my body??

I am in a very similiar situation... I have worked my butt off to have a body that I am proud of... for the first time in my life I have a flat stomach, ab definition.. andddd STRETCHMARKS. So though I feel confident about my body itself, my stretchmarks make me feel unnattractive and insecure with my clothes entirely off. But I still have managed to work out a way that I feel sexy and confident in the bedroom -- even with the lights on.

I know there are women and men that will say to embrace your body, and you should... but when you don't feel 'hot'.. it can really put a damper on your mood for sex... so I have some practical suggestions to suppliment learning to accept your stretchmarks (that will come with time, I hope... as there is NOTHING i've found that gets rid of them)

Most men find scantily clad as sexy (or even more sexy) than all the way nude... so work with that... wearing sexy little outfits to bed that accenuate your positives and pull the focus away from your perceived flaws.

For me, If I am wearing a tank top, I'll pull it off the top of me and expose my breasts but leaving it dangling to cover the top of my stomach -- my stretchmarks are above my belly button, or if I am wearing a skirt... I can take my top off but hitch my skirt up to cover my stomach... I love showing my body off to boyfriend, he always makes me feel so sexy, but if I can help it i like to sort of try to cover that area where the stretchmarks are -- not for him, but for me, so that I am not focused on them, so that i am feeling good about myself and can just let go and enjoy the pleasure.

That slight cover up trick still keeps you mostly naked and is a great way to feel confident with lights on sex...day time sex (both of which I love, i love to see my boyfriend and for him to see me -- i just don't like him seeing those stupid marks. For dim lighted, low lighted sex... your stretch marks won't be visable. Candlelight is so forgiving to them... you can show of your body, including your stomach -- in dim lighting and feel confident that your stretchmarks won't be noticable.

I doubt your husband even thinks about them... kat williams comedian does this whole bit about how girls need to quit worrying about their stretchmarks and that real men don't care, either they mean you were small and got big or you were big and got small -- either way they still think your body is sexy.

I'm just an insecure person in general, and I doubt my boyfriend would be bothered by a few little marks, but I still am just bleahh over them.

Excellent advice from HD and as a male, I agree with what she says.

"Scantily clad vs all the way nude."

"...pull the focus away from your perceived flaws."

"I doubt your husband even thinks about them"

Excellent advice and pointers to help you get over your insecurities.

Haha I remember the Katt Williams skit. Every time I mention my stretch marks my hubby will do that "you like a tiger grrooowwwll" and we both laugh.
I'll try to find some lingerie or something, but the ones I've seen are expensive. Since my hubby is deployed maybe I can save money up to buy some lol.
and yes I know that when we are havig sex he's not thinking "ew lok at those stretch marks" but I'm always wondering if he's noticing them and if it turns him off. I guess I SHOULD listen to Katy hen he says that they are not thinking about the stretchmarks, they are just thinking about the sex. Haha.
Thank you for the advice