Thread: Super high sex drive, but no satisfaction.

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Women are complicated creatures when it comes to our pleasure, so we really have to take responsibility for it by giving clear directions the man in our life how to take us to destination o. When a man loves you, cares about you, he WANTS you to feel good and would love to learn how to do that, for you, specifically... so communicate

It's worth trying HD's approach, to give examples, talk, even ask him to read. It's worth the try. Maybe he wants this too but doesn't know how to do it, or is afraid you want it because you were abused (this is something I'm worried about a lot, as, not only is he not passionate by default, but he connects your passion to having been abused).

Originally Posted by waya

Ok, now what if you just really cared about her?

Exactly. Some men may love a lot but don't show it physically or don't consider the physical aspect of the relationship as important. Others are unable to show it even if they want to. Others don't know how.

Originally Posted by Ahmed M

I guess if she was an exceptional woman who I loved, I would try to persevere with the relationship and try to overcome the problem. I suppose I'd say to myself "I'm not gonna throw the baby out with the bath water, lets try to salvage this relationship". I'm sure it must be a depressing situation, but it would be a real shame to leave a considerate and affable man over this particular quandary.

I guess this is a case of "if you haven't been there, you don't know how difficult it is". As not only you're in a relationship where you're sexually dissatisfied, but you also end up wondering if it's your fault, if something is wrong with you and so on. Like the OP, she even wonders if she wants this kind of sex because she was abused, where to me it seems she's dealt with her past, knows what she wants, and now her partner makes her feel guilty for wanting what she wants because he can't/won't give this to her.

Instead of focusing on the "why" her boyfriend has to have an open discussion about his views and how far he's willing to go sexually. I also don't believe that passion is something that can be learnt. If a man/woman is not of passionate nature and is together with someone who is, such problems come up.

Originally Posted by WildChild

I think many of wondered why such a good woman was putting up with all that you did. I've done it too. Guess we can at least say we gave it every opportunity but perhaps it would have been easier on us if we had gotten out sooner.

It would save us time and it would be easier to get out for sure. The advantage is that we've probably learned a lot more by making an effort to keep it together than having given up and have no guilt. But one should definitely set a deadline at some point and not let it go on and on for years. I probably should have done it a year ago, but I'm glad I'm out and feel very lucky it didn't become even more serious.