Thread: LADIES: How long do you wait to have sex?

I know each situation is slightly different, but on average how many dates until you are willing to:

1) Fool around? (Fingering, handjob)

2) Deeper fooling around (Blowjob, oral on her)

3) Sex

Or if it all comes at the same time, then so be it haha. I'm looking forward to your answers!

Well I'm in a relationship, so we just do what we want to do whenever we want to But when we first started dating I had NOOOOOO timeline... I did things when I wanted to, when I felt comfortable, I never for one second stopped to calculate how many dates we'd been on and when it would be 'appropriate' to do this or that... i followed my heart and my body... and I've been very happy that way.

Totally agree with HD in this. My only exception would be the first date. I have never slept with anyone on a first date, even if I felt like I wanted to. Not saying that's the right or wrong way to be, but it's just the way I've always done things.

Like HD, I do not follow a timeline.
It has ranged from a few hours (blush) to a few weeks.

I've heard of a "4th Date Rule"...
According to a former very close personal friend.

Originally Posted by Texasred

I've heard of a "4th Date Rule"...
According to a former very close personal friend.

I couldn't imagine counting dates!! It would seem to lack any sense of personal involvement in the decision... like okay, he buys me 4 dinners and then its all his!! Ack. It would just seem so detached and calculate to plot out things like okay... on date 3 he can touch my boobs , date 6 I'll give him a hand job etc etc..

For me , intercourse wouldn't happen on a first date, not because of any rules i set forth, but because I know I wouldn't want a man inside of my body that I didn't know and trust, condoms are a great source of protection but they are not infallable... I would have to feel secure and cared about before giving myself to someone. So even that wouldn't have a timeline... because there is no way to predict after how many number of dates I'd feel that way.... but i do know that trust is something you build so it couldn't possibly develop on a first date.

But as for everything else... all the foreplay stuff... all that making out stuff or first base second base etc stuff, that would be whenever my body wanted it, whenever the chemistry was right and the moment called for it... I couldn't imagine being able to pinpoint that to dates, or denying myself what I actually wanted, that would have no negative consequence... simply to follow some rule book.

The kind of man that I'd want in my life is not one that would make judgements about a womens character based on when she decided to explore her passions with him... so if he were the type to say... zomg she let me feel her boobs on the second date... i can't go out with her again!!! It would be a case of good riddence anyway lol.

Lucky for me, my boyfriend was confident enough to know that the way me and him got pretty hot and heavy on our first date, was more of a reflection of how i felt about him, than what kind of a girl I was/am.

Another quick question, I am on the pill. Do you think its okay to skip condoms (assuming there is zero concern for stds), or should i play it safe and double up?

eek! im sorry i posted that in the wrong place. ignore me!

Thanks for the responses everyone, but I think you may have misinterpreted my question.

I'm not asking what is your hard and set rule for how many dates ... i'm asking from your past history of sexual experience what has it ended up being? Example, mine would be 3rd date BECAUSE I have slept with someone on the 1st date, and two on the 4th date. SO the average for me is somwhere around the 3rd.

See what i'm saying? Sorry for being confusing.

To be honest its of such little significance to me that i wouldn't be able to provide an average since I never recorded, not even in my own mind... at which date number I did this or that.