Thread: Is he slacking?...

Hey there. Yknow really the best thing is to tell him, seriously just say, 'can you spend a lil more time on me? ' you really need to talk because it will stay the same as it is now. He won't know you're not really getting off and he think you're okay with it. And you'll end up getting frustrated, and as it go on you wouldn't want to even have sex cause you never have the fun. For me it used to be like that. After I talk to him about it. It changed, we would have a little fun and then we'll finish together. One other thing. When you have sex, remember, it isn't just for him, Move your body the way you like it, move it to where it feels good. When you find it hang on to it and a lil dirty talk isn't a bad idea ^.- hehehe. Usually gets him more aroused.. Don't worry bout him cause he'll find his. He'll adjust to how it feels good to him and it doesn't take much. And thats when hes on his back right? Well you go a head and finish first. Because he shouldn't have all the fun, try new position.

Good luuuuck! <3 Em

I think you need to have a conversation, when you're sitting on the couch watching TV, not when you're naked and about to share intimacy. Let him know that it takes a woman, on average, about twenty minutes of foreplay before she/you gets excitied. I can't imagine that he won't be able to find things to do that excite you for twenty minutes. Perhaps he has no idea how long it takes....

Ideas?

Tell him that you are the greatest gift (you are) that he has ever received and to treat your clothing as wrapping paper that has to be preserved. Each time he unwraps a bit of skin, he must caress it, finger it, fondle it, kiss it or lick it, perhaps even massage it. Any place there is more than one layer of "wrapping paper" to remove, this area requires extra attention and extra time by him. He must handle you/his gift in the most caring, loving, sensual way that he can while staying in constant contact with all areas of your body. I guarantee you that it will take a lot longer then twenty minutes to caress, fondle and stroke your entire body.

If it's ideas you desire, the people in this forum have lots of them.

One other thing, if it's control that you desire, being on top is one of the best positions from which the female controls the action. You can control the depth of each thrust, the speed, the angle, etc. So take your time with it and go at the angle, depth and speed that you want. In your case, I'd leave this position until last or after you have received all of the pleasure you desire.

It will be easier to convince him to do things for you before he has had an orgasm, afterwords a lot of men lose interest (though they should do things for you anyway). If you can talk to him, that would be best. Is he at all adventurous in bed - for example would he like being tied up and have you "use" him? The suggestion of sitting on his face is also great fun for some men, though others hate it.

Saying that he doesn't like foreplay because it gets him too excited, sounds like pure BS to me. I can see why you wonder if he is "slacking".

You need to drop 4 words on him: "We need to talk". Now most guys had rather have a swift kick in their manhood than to hear this from a woman, but that's the only way this is going to get resolved. It sounds like you have always focused on getting him off, so you need to reorder the lovemaking session. Tell him that you want to make one simple bedroom rule: "Girl comes first." He may need to do that either orally or manually, but it at least assures you of an orgasm. Then do your thing with him. Who knows, you might even get a twofer out of it. You might also try some other positions that stimulate him less and you more. Experiment to see what works best.

Thanks so much for all the help guys I'm new to this site and i gotta say I absolutely love it so much support thank you

I may come across as harsh, but honestly if it's only 10 months into the relationship and he's slacking off in the sex department, could it be because the shine has gone off the relationship in general for him? It's either that or he's just a lazy, selfish lover. Surely the big thrill of sex is the pleasure you give your partner? Don't settle for anyone who doesn't feel this way.