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Thread: I can't feel much at all when having sex, except pressure.

  1. #1
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    Default I can't feel much at all when having sex, except pressure.

    This is slightly embarrassing for me, but I want to find out some information and see if other women have experienced the same things. When I have sex I don't feel much of anything except pressure. I think maybe I might not have very many nerves in my vagina and that's why I don't feel anything pleasurable. I have felt with my fingers before to see if it was just my fiancÚ or if there is something wrong. I pinched a piece of the inside of my vagina as hard as I could, and I felt nothing; not even pain. Is this like a condition of some sort? Is it just me? Have any other women had this before? I'm not sure what to do. I want to go to the gynecologist and talk to him about it but I figured I'd ask other women first and do my own research, and save some money as well. Please help.

    This is also having a HUGE impact on my relationship as well. Because I don't enjoy sex, I don't want to do it. And sex is important in relationships, especially serious ones like mine. I really need help, advice, information, anything. Please.
    Last edited by kara_nichole1692; 01-28-2011 at 10:12 PM.

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array LilahX's Avatar
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    I have on occasion wondered whether I'm in this situation. I've had sex with many partners and can honestly say that only probably half a dozen have created any sort of sensation - and those who did - WOW.

    I've wondered whether my nerve endings are deeper or something, or whether the majority of guys I've been with just have no idea that the need to find out what works for me. The ones who have created intense feeling haven't done anything different that I could tell, but they obviously do somehting differently. I've seen other women 'get off' with anyone and everyone they have sex with, so what' so different with me?

    I have found that exploring my Gspot has helped a lot and I feel I'm becoming a bit more responsive. Having my hips tilted/lifted (pillow under my butt) certainly helps, and sex in doggy position is a winner.

    The inside of the vagina isn't particularly sensitive. It can't be or pushing a baby out would be more torture than it already is lol But certain parts of it are - Gspot and down near the cervix for me. Experitment on your own with a dildo, one that you have room to move around. Relax and take note of any 'spots' that respond when you press against them with the tip of it.

    I still don't know whether I'm just different to most women, but don't give up hope. I have had mindblowing sex despite most of the rest of it has been as if nothing at all was happening. Good luck.

  3. #3
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    Well there isn't a lot of sensation in the vagina. There are only a few areas that can be either stimulated, or have some sensation. The vaginal opening has some sensation, but it's not going to get you an orgasm. It will just give you that fullness feeling, that adds to the experience. Then there is the g-spot -its still rather tough to get an orgasm through your gspot only, but with practice and patience it can be achieved. That fullness feeling through the vaginal opening, puts pressure on the gspot. Then there are a few spots deeper in the vagina, near the uterus, and also over by the rectum. Lets not forget the clitoris, arousal and orgasms are connected to the clitoris, so if you include clit play, penetration should be more enjoyable.

    Get a vibrator/dildo, not too big, and experiment. You need to learn what gets you off before you can expect it to happen in your relationship.

    Edited to add: Oh, by the way, the more aroused and wet you are, the more enjoyable sex is. Wait as long as you can hold yourself back for during foreplay. I know this is hard for guys, but in the end you both get a heightened experience.
    Last edited by groupieindenial; 02-01-2011 at 10:26 AM.

  4. #4
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Think about this ladies. You have about 8000 nerve endings in the clit (really! you do) your labia, perinium and gspot are all loaded with lovely responsive nerve endings. But your vagina is not just your love canal, its also the birth canal and birthing a baby would be well nigh unendurable if it was loaded with nerve endings. Your menstration would be a whole different experience too, it you could feel every drop of your menstural flow.

    Orgamic response is largely a mental/emotional response, built upon the physical. Really your clit is it. Those 8000 nerves don't just begin and end in that tiny spot, they travel many pathways that can enhance your pleasure and responsiveness. Some of us respond intensely to vaginal stimulation, others very little. Groupie is right that you need to explore and learn how to pleasure yourself and what brings you the most pleasure with a partner.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  5. #5
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    I actually hate the feeling of having a real penis in my vagina. It doesn't do anything for me and I just plain don't like it. I DO like having him insert a finger or two, but that's it. I never want his penis in there. (He's okay with that, we do other better things.) My clit is where all the action is. Pressure is the right word. I like lots and lots of pressure on my clit area. I like having my clit area rubbed hard and long and then licked hard and long. Manual stimulation followed by oral. But first I use a vibe to get things going before I even have him start. Lots and lots of mental stimulation in for form of "dirty talk" is great too. I let loose with the most sexy kinky things that pop into my head. But the number one first most important thing is to totally forget about everything else in life while I'm doing it. I think of nothing else the whole time, just myself!

  6. #6
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Calicorado83's Avatar
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    No, I think it's the same experience for many women. I know with me, I don't really feel a whole lot in my vaginal area except pressure. What makes having sex an experience for me is my emotional connection with my partner, the letting loose (getting kinky and wild), the feeling of being filled with him, kissing and touching, the clitoris area (gets me off every time!) and deeper penetration (more-so rubbing deeper inside than pounding or banging) and when he gets off inside of me, just the thought of his semen inside of me is such a major turn-on.

    I notice he enjoys the quick in, out, in, out....more than I do. I guess it's that quickness, repeated rubbing on the head of his penis. I would rather him stay deep and rub, rub, rub, my deeper areas at the same time he's rubbing my clit with his pubic area. This can go slow or fast, depending on mood, I get off every time.

    Sometimes, we'll both take it slow and focus on what we both feel like inside of each other. That's one of my favorites. He loves it too.

    It's all about knowing yourself, experienceing with yourself, and letting him know what you like on top of having an emotional connection and understanding with him, whether you are lovers or friends. Knowing your partner on some level goes long ways.
    "Greatness is a lot of small things done well. Day after day..."

  7. #7
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    I have learned though in a very short time stretch that the fiancÚ you are with is not up to it and he has to work hard on it. I had sex with two partners in a span of one month. Before that I was a virgin, unsexed and suddenly I bumped into one man consciously and deliberately and was thrilled at the act. But nobody for sure knows the ecstasy of it and the first one was satisfying me and was too sweet but the second one bumped into me and did it differently and staggeringly. He touched the insides or all sides of me. I was euphoric.

    Now only the comparison tells the truth, the second performed better but I cannot love him and he proves better in bed for me not in life and cannot be a life partner and the fiancÚ I am with is my soul mate, twin-flame and though he is not arty and maybe he is a learner.

    In like manner you have to have patience and go through hormonal checks and maybe it is a hormonal imbalance my dear. Do not hurt yourself and maybe it is your anatomical stuff or his lack of still you cannot say now. There are plenty of books you will have to go through.

    I am always exploring into an un-trodden domain wherein I find the wealth of ideas that help me in life

  8. #8
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array
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    I have to keep reminding my husband that pressure is what impacts the vagina and feels good there instead of the friction that works for him. That's how it's suppose to be. If you want to work off of friction then aim for the clit instead.

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