Thread: Difficulty & Dryness with Penetration

My fiance and I thought we should maybe have a bit of skill on our belts before we get to our wedding night and be in for a big surprise. We're both virgins. We have foreplay and both orgasm.. but when it comes to the actual penetration and intercourse, I am in immense pain. For one, my vagina feels really tight and his penis feels like it's hitting something so it won't go in past a few inches. Another is that I am very un-lubricated. I don't know what to do about this because I am quite relaxed, yet tense and excited at the same time. I know the vulva is supposed to widen and relax a bit when I'm ready, but how long must that take? Another is a know my hymen must break, but dang, that won't hurt this much, would it? And I would think it would be done and over with; do it once and it's a done deal. I've tried just using my fingers, and once or twice I've made it in my whole finger length. But other times I can barely touch it, it stings and hurts so much. What should I do? More foreplay? More tense excitement? More relaxing? Can I lubricate at will? Or is it just lucky day or unlucky day kind of thing? and how can I make penetration easier? Just with practice? Or am I doing something wrong?

LOL, I've always heard how people want to marry a virgin.. but they're so darn stupid!! like me! =P

Hope ya don't mind educating me a bit

Welcome to the forum. It's a great place full of wonderful people who have lots of knowledge and are willing to share.

Physical intimacy is going to be a bit different for everyone. My first suggestion is to try and relax as much as both of you can. Let the intimacy you are sharing, at whatever level, come to you. That being said, I would spend a lot more time on foreplay. It is believed that it takes the woman up to twenty minutes of foreplay before she is "ready" for sex. I would encourage both of you to explore each other's bodies to see what areas are most sensitive to touch, what feels good where ,etc.
Spend lots of time caressing, stroking, fondling, kissing, licking, nibbling, nuzzling.

As a man, I tend to focus on her needs firstand other than the three most obvious areas, there are eight or nine other areas on a woman's body that are considered erogneous zones. the neck, the ears, the arms, the fingers'hands, the back (particularly the lower back), the inner thighs, the back of the knees, the feet. I have found the nape of the neck, the inner thighs, the small of the back and the back of the knees to be the best of the rest.

As far as first time penetration, I will asusme that it's going to be uncomfortable, perhaps even painful as your hymen is broken. So I would take it slow, use some lube to increase the wetness and relax as much as you can. Some women get very wet and some women don't. Some require or prefer additional lubrication and some don't.

Physical intimacy is the greatest gift you will ever share with someone, so go slow, take it easy and enjoy yourselves.

Hey there! ^^ welcome! Mmm Yeah I think I hear that its hard sometimes for some women to get it going there. It could be the size of your hymen. You say that you can fit your finger in but your hymen may only be big enough for your small finger at the time. Ya know? Cause some people have it smaller and larger, some need to get surgery. At first you're going to feel a lot of pressure and the first thing your body is going to try to do is tense up, just remember to relaaaaaaaaax just keep thinking it. Haha, but yeah I would say you should spend more time with eacother to get you going and ready. With dryness. I recomend using System Jo, because glyserin is not their few first ingredients and you should stay away from them, read the lub before you buy, because glyserin is basically sugar. As for flavor ones, those are fun for oral but don't use it for sex. You'll be sorry D= ( yest infection) But if you really want to try em feel free but I really suggest you use system jo because i've been through it and this is the only product i could use with out horrible side effects. its made by women for women so they know their stuff lol. Mmm Ya a lot of girls would have the same story when we talk bout it so i told them what i use and they also went out and try one and never gone back.

Mmm yeah like he said there, both should spen a bit of time exploring what you like and what really turns you on, how you like to be touched. And a lot is in the mind also ^.- Good luck!

Hope this helps D= <3 em