question for wild child

**billjames** · 01-30-2011 02:19 PM

Wild Child,

I saw on one of your other threads that you complained about your bf being addicted to porn and masturbation. i'm 34. from 2001 - 2008 i tried to quit my addiction to porn until finally i gave up. i'm going to try again soon but i'm afraid to try because i know i won't be able to concentrate or work if i don't have my daily porn fix. but i know i have to make an effort or i think it will get in the way of my marriage when i get married. i'm not seeing anyone now.

i'm just wondering how was your bf's addiction and how much did it disrupt your relationship with him.

**kristalyn_04** · 01-30-2011 03:15 PM

billjames, you may want to try sending WC a VM. You're posting a question specifically for her in a public thread, so anyone can respond. I'm sure she can speak for herself, but she may not feel comfortable answering personal questions in a thread.

**jns** · 01-30-2011 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by billjames

Wild Child,

I saw on one of your other threads that you complained about your bf being addicted to porn and masturbation. i'm 34. from 2001 - 2008 i tried to quit my addiction to porn until finally i gave up. i'm going to try again soon but i'm afraid to try because i know i won't be able to concentrate or work if i don't have my daily porn fix. but i know i have to make an effort or i think it will get in the way of my marriage when i get married. i'm not seeing anyone now.

i'm just wondering how was your bf's addiction and how much did it disrupt your relationship with him.

Quitting addictions to anything is very similar. One of the ways is to place yourself in an environment that you like that you have absolutely no way of getting porn. Then embrace that environment. Don't fight it. Don't take a computer with you or even a cell phone, except maybe a basic model.

Look at the things you enjoy, such as outdoor sports and determine how you can make them work. Get off of the beaten path and you won't be able to get your fix and it will be both more rewarding and cheaper than going into a boot camp type of environment. Places like the outback in Australia, Canada and Alaska. Places like the remote villages in South America. Places like remote islands in the Pacific Ocean. Places like remote areas in China. Places away from the tourist crowd in Southeast Asia especially in the less developed countries.

Once away from porn long enough to break the longing, replace the porn with a real relationship. This may be frustrating at first if you don't have good social skills. Work on those social skills by going to places where others are and joining in activities. Relationships can make it so you have a hard time concentrating on work, but you can do it with focus and a plan of where you want to go.

**WildChild** · 01-31-2011 03:04 PM

Very simply Bill, once he had my affections secure after 3 or 4 months together, he stopped all kissing, foreplay, we never went any place together unless it was work related. What sex we did have, which over time dwindled to about once a month, was very much of the drop your pants and I'll shove it in variety. At those times he did not want his penis touched. He did want bjs and hjs often and phone sex and sexting. He worked insane hours but the type of work was sporatic, when he wasn't working he claimed to get himself off as much as 10 times a day (he was well past 40). If he chose to be, he was a wonderful lover, it wasn't insecurity over a lack of skill by any means. I'm up for several times a day so it wasn't lack of a partner.

He didn't watch anything kinky, he was just into his hand. I kept thinking it could turn around but finally had to give up. I loved him passionately and would have done whatever was needed to be supportive if he had wanted to make a change but he wasn't interested. I wish him well. I doubt very much that he will be another relationship again. He does seem to realize that he has problem but does not see any value in making the effort to change. His life is work, masterbation and his motorcycle.

I have recently started seeing a man who does not own a computer and we have a wonderful time together.