Thread: Help! want to stop "faking it" with husband

Stop masterbating (if you are) and talk to him. Take one or two sexual encounters and tell him exactly what you want, where it works, where it doesnt. Men think they have it all figured out when they really don't. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years now and have many "training" sessions.. and I must say.. it has paid off... I'm averaging at least twice a "session" lol. Good luck! And don't fake it.. because when you finally do have a real one.. they'll be totally flabergasted and wonder why thats never happened before!

You are in deep trouble, if I found out my Wife was faking it after all these years.. it would not be a good situation..

I really have no advice for you.. Cuzz I know I would be very upset by it..

Thanks for the advice!! I am going to try and fix the problem without coming right out and telling him I have been faking it all this time. The last thing I want to do is hurt him and it is SO not his fault that I have been doing this for so long. I was young and pretty inexperienced when we first started dating so I think that had alot to do with it. Now that we are older I REALLY want to fix this problem but I don't want to hurt him.

I have orgasmed with other partners and I do masterbate and reach orgasm on my own, so I know it is very possible. Sometimes I feel as though I am thinking about it to much when I am with my husband and that keeps me from relaxing enough to get there. I am always thinking "will this be the time he gets me there?"

Tonight after we had sex, I told him that I wanted to go to the sex store and get a vibrater. He asked why and I said because I wanted him to help me play with it. He seemed pretty open to the idea so that is good. I am hoping that helps open up our communication about what I like.

To the guys wondering how to tell if a girl is faking, if she is a good actress you will never know. I think just having an open communication is the key. My problem is that I let it go on to long and now if I tell him he will feel hurt.

Originally Posted by PureVirgin

Is there a way to tell if she's faking it? Oh God I would hate that.

If you've been a faker then you need to figure out what it is that is making you want to fake it. Extended duration of sex can get uncomfortable for some people. That said....try to extend the foreplay until you've already had an orgasm. This way you are more likely to have another.

Originally Posted by Lillelu

My problem is that I let it go on to long and now if I tell him he will feel hurt.

Faking for a little while or once in a while and then saying so would hurt someone... faking for 6 years... would probably hurt more than just his ego. I mean if you lost 10 pounds and he told you wow... you are beautiful, I mean ... "I'm actually attracted to you now, all these years we've been together, all the times I've said I thought you were sexy, well... I didn't really mean it, I mean I've always loved you, but I just didn't think you were sexy... but oh now you are!!" It would probably shake your foundation of how much you believed in him, not just about that... but anything. It would be much better for him to just think... wow my wife got a lot more sexy and compliment you and encourage you going forward rather than say... yeeee i meant to tell you how bad you looked with that extra 10 pounds all these years, but didn't want to hurt your feelings... but at least I can tell you now!!

I think honesty is they key to a happy relationship, especially a sexual one. But I think some things are better left unsaid, especially if you plan on doing the right thing by being honest going forward.

Telling him will probably hurt, but I really don't see another option. If you say it is a recent problem, he will wonder what has changed, what he is doing wrong. Personally I would rather be told my wife was faking it all these years than be left with the feeling that something is wrong, but not knowing what.