Why we women are passive responders to sex?

**wanton** · 02-01-2011 11:28 PM

Today we say we equate with men and we are no more considered weaker sexes. Why the heck males still play prominent parts in life. When it comes to one of the most essentials, sex it is mostly men who take the initiative and we women no matter how much well read we are and how much we are exposed to different societies we still are passive reactors and not active initiators.
I am exceptional in my part of the world to boldly experience premarital
sex and not to feel deeply guilty even with the intercourse with a second man.

I have read so many novels; of course erotic ones and something bulldozes me to think that we are passive actors, subservient. I like to be a subversive and reverse the course of history that drowned the women genre deeply.

When it comes to sex, for instance I take the initiative and snap at his balls. When I act as an initiator I reach early orgasm and when I just listen to his drums and wait for his own acts I reach it much later or at times I do not reach it at all.

I am afraid I seem off course and sound as a deviant. To heck with all these conventionalities. I do not belong to the pack.

**ItsASecret** · 02-02-2011 08:26 AM

Simply because many women are not wanting to be the aggressor and it is far out of their comfort zone if they 'need' to behave in a way they never wished to.

**WildChild** · 02-02-2011 08:41 AM

It is perfectly natural for women to want sex and to initiate sex. Yes we have been conditioned by religion and social conventions to be more passive but many of us actively want sex. Unfortunately men have been conditioned to expect to be the initiators and some find it intimidating to have a woman initiate and this can cause them to have performance issues.

**wanton** · 02-02-2011 08:53 AM

Modern women must break all these barriers and emerge robustly. Subservience is a weapon of the old few and today women must try t0 be more traveled and exposed to diverse circumstances.

I am a modern lady and I never look to my boyfriend' initiation and I always give importance to my own needs and then to others too.

When I become aroused and want to have sex I simply unzip his pants first and never wait for his approval and such tendency has pushed most of our women in the past behind them

**LanaBear** · 02-02-2011 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by wanton

When I become aroused and want to have sex I simply unzip his pants first and never wait for his approval

Regardless as to whether one is passive or aggressive when it comes to initiating sex, sex should ALWAYS be consensual. You should always have enough respect for your lover to wait for their agreement to have sex. It is about mutual respect at that point, not whether or not you are passive/aggressive towards the initiation of sex. Not waiting for his consensual agreement isn't what being a "modern lady" is about.

**Texinator** · 02-02-2011 11:21 AM

...because there still exists he very false myth among both men and women that either the typical woman is incapable of enjoying good sex or "good girls" should not enjoy good sex. Which is a steaming pile of cow manure, because women are just as sexual if not even more sexual than men. But it turns into a self fulfilling prophecy, because many men don't concern themselves with the pleasure of a woman, and many women are too shy to communicate their sexual desires. So you end up with a lot of one sided sex that the women don't enjoy, and then both the men and women end up believing that sex is more a man's thing than a woman's.

**Tool** · 02-02-2011 11:36 AM

My Wife is very passive about sex. She says she wants me to be a man and be the initiator. It makes her feel sexy to know that I want her. And when she feels sexy, we have more sex and she enjoys it more.

There are times though where she just isn't desiring it at all. And she to push herself to just do it anyways, and once she is aroused she totally enjoys it.

**WildChild** · 02-02-2011 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by Tool

My Wife is very passive about sex. She says she wants me to be a man and be the initiator. It makes her feel sexy to know that I want her. And when she feels sexy, we have more sex and she enjoys it more.

There are times though where she just isn't desiring it at all. And she to push herself to just do it anyways, and once she is aroused she totally enjoys it.

This is part of communication and know your partner. However most women are trained into this. Societal and religious teaching is that "good" women don't want, think about or inititiate sex. Women who are sexually proactive, responsive and open about it are likely, at some point, to find themselves labled a ho. That of course if a social fate worse than death (in some cases literally as it can lead to social osterization). In this day and age, women are hit with very conflicting messages. There is the porn sex, girls gone wild, overly overt sexualization of behavior and dress, coupled with many being inorgamsic and with the social censure that still exists. Small wonder that a lot of women are sexually conflicted.

**GoddessOfLove** · 02-02-2011 01:30 PM

You are kinda generalizing. There is nothing passive about me and sex. I think it's a personal preference really. Like in S&M, some women like to be the dominatrix and some like to be the slave. I'm usually the one with the whip.

**wanton** · 02-03-2011 11:49 PM

Men get aroused sooner than women. When I touch the of my husband it stiffens so fast and when he just inserts and penetrates deeper and strokes for a while he ejaculates jets of sperms and he says he is in cloud nine. But take time and he has to slow down the lovemaking. In fact he has to do a lot more things than sex to get me turned on. At times when I watch porn he just fingers in the meantime.

I have talked with several other women they too have the same complains and that made me generalize it. Human nature from person to person and what I feel may not necessarily have been felt by others and there may be individual differences. Yet in general this is the case.

I have read in some articles that 35 % Americans have never get orgasms in America and in Asian countries over 70 % women do not feel and do not expect it either since they do not know what orgasms is.

In India most women are taken as commodities and this is not a dual act and men want it and women are subservient things. Women get tired always and they go to bed very late and men just enter the room and gratify his urges without talking about anything.