Having trouble making my girlfriend orgasm.

**razorbackfan91** · 02-02-2011 05:28 PM

Hello everyone, first time poster here. I guess I"ll give you some back ground before getting to the issue.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 6 months, we have had some issues in the past but those are behind us and I am so in love with her and she is with me. We've gotten to the point in our relationship where we are getting more adventurous with our sex lives. We wanted to hold off as long as possible before intercourse but we're approaching that point. However, in the last week or two we've done quite a bit of fooling around, just getting handsy. I'm by no means an expert, but she is having difficulty reaching an orgasm. She says that I gave her a minor one a few days ago and I'd love to believe her but I cant help but thinking she just didn't want to hurt my feelings with another failed attempt. Anyways, these failed attempts are starting to frustrate her and I hate seeing her when she gets mad/upset/frustrated.

She can reach an orgasm by herself but she says that no guy has ever been able to do it for her until I supposedly got her a minor one the other day. I just want to be able to fully satisfy her the way she is able to satisfy me but it's not working out right now. Does anyone have any tips or things I could try? I've offered to go down on her but she doesn't like that idea so much.

Any help on explaining the issue or solutions is much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

**jns** · 02-02-2011 07:42 PM

Have her guide your hands on what to do. Have her masturbate herself using your hands. See what she is doing and do the same thing.

**LanaBear** · 02-02-2011 08:24 PM

I agree with jns, she needs to guide you. If she can reach orgasm by herself, there are chances she can with your assistance, but she needs to be open and honest and tell you exact what she likes. Where, how fast, more pressure, less pressure, etc.?

Are you open to reading? There are some good recommendations in the Books on Sex thread towards the top of this section. The Orgasm Loop, I would recommend. She Comes First, is another one. Read them together and be open to the suggestions.

Any particular reason she does not want oral?

**waya** · 02-02-2011 09:01 PM

There are such things as minor orgasms for women, btw. That wasn't necessarily just to make you feel better.

**razorbackfan91** · 02-02-2011 09:30 PM

Thank you all for your replies...

She has guided me with her hands and helped instruct me on what to do, I probably should have included that in the original post. That's why I find it so strange. I really just hate seeing her getting upset with herself after I've been going at it for a while because she doesn't feel anything special. I can't stand seeing her like that. I can't help but feel a little incompetent or inadequate...

I'm all for reading up on the internet, I'm trying to do as much research as I can, I just want to be able to pleasure her no matter how much I have to read.

As for the no oral, she just says she thinks it's gross

Thanks again for your replies.

**Mr. Inquisitive** · 02-03-2011 09:07 AM

Communication, communication, communication. She knows better than anyone else how to get herself off. Let her be your teacher young grasshopper.

**Scarletkitty** · 02-03-2011 12:20 PM

Unless the two of you are very young or inexperienced I would say that she's just not that into you. That and if the the chemistry isn't there it ain't going to happen.

**razorbackfan91** · 02-03-2011 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by Scarletkitty

Unless the two of you are very young or inexperienced I would say that she's just not that into you. That and if the the chemistry isn't there it ain't going to happen.

Maybe you're right, but judging by our relationship I don't think that's the case. We are 20 and neither of us are super experienced, but it's not our first rodeo either, so to speak... I'm taking the communication advice, and trying to help her stay patient.

Thanks again.

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-03-2011 05:00 PM

BUY the book She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D, or check it out of your public library. He also has a site on the Internet. I'll give you the letters, G I B, stands for Good In...

How about introducing a vibrator into your intimacy? The Pocket Rocket is a small, non-threatening, easy to use vibrator that you can both enjoy using on her....

I also think you ought to "push the envelope" a little on giving her oral....Very few women don't like it once they've experienced it. It may just sound gross to her.

It isn't ! It's heaven on earth for both of you (IMO).