Thread: Blow job with no orgasm? Did I do something wrong?

I need some advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a month and have decided to become sexually active.
We're both pretty young (I'm 21 and he's 20) and fairly inexperienced when it comes to sex.
He told me he's had sex twice before and both times it was pretty basic, just missionary, and was unable to climax.

Yesterday I tried giving him a blowjob and....it was a lot of fun but he didn't orgasm.
We had been making out for a good half hour before I initiated it, and he was really hard so it's not like he wasn't turned on, but he just couldn't come. It lasted fourty minutes and we finally had to stop cause we had dinner plans.

Now I've never given a blowjob before so maybe I was doing something wrong but he said it felt good...so I guess I need some help.

What could the problem be?

Usually, my boyfriend will only orgasm, if I use my hand along with my mouth. There have been times that I've used just my mouth, but those have been getting him close to that point with sex and then switching. If loves it when I use just my mouth, but he needs the speed of my hand to go along with it...This may be what's going on in your case...Either way, you'll get better with practice and you'll learn what he likes. And I promise he's not going to complain, if you want to practice

Welcome to the forum.

I would suggest you do a search on this subject matter using the search window in the upper right corner. This subject has been discussed to death and I'm sure you will find answers to many, many questions you have.

If not, come back here then and see what has been said.

First of all, I wouldn't worry about it soo much (even though thats really hard to say). If he was maintaining an erection, then I'd say he obviously still enjoyed it. Now, if you were giving him oral and he lost the erection, that would be another story ...
But as far as no orgasm, it could be that one type of stimulation (oral) wasn't enough ... like maybe he needs it switched up a little bit ... add some new things (maybe try rubbing his testicles, switch up some movements with your tongue, etc.) or do some oral for a little bit then kiss his chest and down his stomach, etc.
Overall I guess my advice would be to have a discussion with him about what he likes, what he doesn't like, etc. and hopefully the two of you can find something that drives him crazy!

Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice

Welcome to the forum.

I would suggest you do a search on this subject matter using the search window in the upper right corner. This subject has been discussed to death and I'm sure you will find answers to many, many questions you have.

If not, come back here then and see what has been said.

Thanks for the advice, I did a search and found a couple of previous posts with some helpfull information.

I assume that you mean ejaculate, right? Orgasm and ejaculation are very different things.

Assuming that you do mean ejaculate, can you get him to ejaculate by giving him a hand job?

If yes, then the next time you are giving him a HJ try incorporating your mouth and tongue as part of the HJ. Particularly near the end (point of ejaculation) as this will acquaint him with the feeling of being orally satisfied when most of the work was done by hand.

If no, then ask him to masturbate for you and show/tell what he does that feels good. This should give you some pointers on what he's doing that you may not be doing.

IMO - a good BJ incorporates the stroking of the shaft with one hand while my partner's mouth and tongue focus, primarily, on the head and top of the shaft. the most sensitive part of the penis is the Frenelum and is located on the underside where the head meets the top of the shaft. It is often referred to as the "man clit" because of it's sensitivity. Stimulating that is generally what causes the male to ejaculate, but don't make it your only focus...too sensitive. Incorporate the stimulation of his entire penis, scrotum and testicles. Ask him waht feels good and what doesn't. You should be able to pick up cues based on his breathing, comments, reactions, etc.

Practice makes perfect so continue to practice too. He shouldn't mind one bit.

No, you didn't do anything wrong. He just needs a little time to get used to the fact that you will be there when he unloads ! Men sometimes feel awkward about ejaculating in front of a new partner.They need to trust them and it can take time. (We're not all wham bang thank you mam types you know) Use your tongue to gently lick the shaft of his penis and around the head. If he has a foreskin, gently retract this all the way and hold it there. This reveals the senstive head and local area. Remember to tickle just underneath his balls. This is a very sensitive area for a man (the area where your vagina is as a woman)
Stroke the shaft gently with the back of your hand. The soft skin that you have on your hands is a delight for a man to receive as touch.
Whatever you do, don't do anything too hard ! Gently and softly does it and his juice will explode out ! best of luck x

I, like miss_bee have to use my hand as well as my mouth. I am confused that he didn't cum from having sex before though. Perhaps he masterbates a little to rough/hard. Talk to him about how often/hard he does. After having read several post similar to this one in many of the cases it turned out to be that the man in question had masterbated a bit to rough and this caused him to desensitize himself a bit.... Just a thought.

You really can't go wrong with oral sex. What's most important is not technique, but attitude. Enjoy yourself, be excited, eager and enthusiastic. Let him see what you're doing. Let him know you enjoy doing it. You can lick, suck and use your hands to stroke him. Have him stroke himself as well. You can trade off. Talk dirty to him while you're doing it. Tell him you want his cum. Tell him that you're going to swallow every delicious drop. Put your head back, open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out. It's okay if he doesn't cum for you every time, but when he does cum, give him lots of praise.

Welcome the the forum.

There are two distinct issues here.

A man who is sexually inexperienced may have difficulties coming with a woman just because he's used to it being a solitary thing - that is his only experience is masturbating, and he may feel some shame about this. You could try encouraging him to masturbate in your presence, with you lying right there next to him, and let that experience go wherever it needs to go.

The second thing is, the penis itself is changeable in terms of what stimulation will lead a man to orgasm. The first woman to give me head had to try a few times, I guess the clinical way to put it is that she "trained" my penis to respond to her way of giving head. The important thing is not to give up, and above all else enjoy the process, because every man has a special place in his heart for the first woman who does this for him.

I recommend you set aside some time, maybe even an entire afternoon on a weekend to just be alone together and explore this with him. Sex is all about building up intimacy and trust, specific tips on technique are best saved until later.

Good luck with it.