Doing something you don't exactly love to please someone you love

**JanaM** · 02-07-2011 09:43 AM

Hey!
A friend of mine recommended this site a while ago and although I didn't sign up before, I wanted to say hi and apologize, if this post is too long.

I'm a woman in my early 30-s, I've been single for some time, have had a few relationships that did not go too well, but now I've found an amazing man in my life. He is strong, yet caring, he treats me with great respect and makes me feel very safe with him. Our sex life is great, we are very compatible in bed and we both think it's important to keep your partner satisfied, which lead to a small issue I'm having.

A while after we had started having sex and things were working great, we had a very hot chat about each other's fantasies and kinky ideas we'd like to try. Most of what we discussed seemed great to both of us, but there was one request that I found a big turn-off - he considers ejaculating onto a woman's face to be very erotic and a huge turn-on. I consider myself to be rather open-minded and I think it's healthy to do things in bed even if it's just for him, but I've never allowed a man to do it on my face, although I've been asked a lot. I love giving head, they way a man with a healthy diet tastes and swallowing, but I've always thought facials to be very humiliating.

Now, I told him honestly how I felt about facials, he apologized and promised not to bring it up again. As time has gone by, I've been more and more convinced just how lucky I am and how great he is, in the bedroom and outside. He is naturally quite dominating, but in a gentle way and he always respects my wishes, if I ask him for something. He has never asked me about facials or taken advantage of me being tied up, although I know he really loved the idea. It was bothering me quite a bit, knowing that he would do anything to please me, especially going down on me after sex if I didn't orgasm, but I wouldn't go along with one of his favorite fantasies. So, during the last weekend, which was a long, romantic weekend that turned into hot lovemaking, I told him that I wanted to allow him to finish on my face, at least try it. He couldn't believe it, he wanted to make sure that I was comfortable doing it, but he was very aroused when I gave him the green light. I must say I didn't like the act itself. I know he has rather large, thick loads and having it splattered at my face felt very dirty. He was honest about preferring to aim it everywhere and when he was done, I felt like a gooey mess. I couldn't open my eyes or do anything, I was worried about how I looked and I felt completely helpless and dominated. However, the way he treated me after just blew my mind. First of all, he told me not to open my eyes and gave me a long, passionate kiss on my lips and forehead, and I was covered with him! Then he caressed my hair, told me how beautiful I looked and thanked me for allowing it to happen. And after a moment, he actually cleaned it all off my face with wet tissues. Just wow! After taking a shower, we had a talk about it, I was honest about having mixed feelings about it, he felt a bit guilty and told me that it's up to me if I ever want to do it again. At the same time, I understood that he really loved ejaculating onto my face and he was very open about how much he appreciated me doing this for him and I felt... rather proud for pleasuring him.

Does it sound very awkward to feel like I want to allow him to give me a facial again in the future? On one hand, the act itself was very messy and dominating, but I loved just how respectfully he treated me and how much it turned him on. And for some reason, not having any pressure and voluntarily doing something so kinky feels great. Like completely submitting to him.

I think it's great to do things for your partner, but I've never done something, that results in so mixed feelings like this. Guess I would just like to hear from other women about my situation, especially the ones who have felt like this before.

**WildChild** · 02-07-2011 09:57 AM

Sometimes there is great pleasure in doing something that you know pleasures your partner so much. So long as he is appreciative of that and doesn't take it for granted, it can be a great addition to your love making. Since for you the pleasure is in pleasuring him, why not keep it for special occasions?

My personal experience has been that when you do something just for them, they can be super appreciative but if it becomes a frequent thing, it loses it specialness and sense of being a gift and starts being taken for granted and when that happens it can get difficult, especially with a very dominate partner. Once it becomes expected you will lose the joy of giving them a special pleasure and it could become an uncomfortable situation for you when you realize that it is happening frequently and is no longer appreciated.

**ScarletWitch** · 02-07-2011 09:58 AM

Are you kidding? I love it when my fiancee does that to me! I love feeling like his, and he's oh, so dominant. Mmm..

**Abigail Appleton** · 02-07-2011 10:05 AM

Omg! There's nothing better than feeling my older boyfriend takes me as his. I know that he loves me and genuinely cares about me and we get to do the sweet romantic stuff all the time but when it comes to playtime ohh I just want him to make me his, his lil slave to use and abuse as he wishes. It's a MASSIVE turn on feeling my mans cum dripping down my face knowing he's just totally dominated me and knowing he's the only guy ever to do that to me! You must be crazy not to like it!

**WildChild** · 02-07-2011 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by Abigail Appleton

Omg! There's nothing better than feeling my older boyfriend takes me as his. I know that he loves me and genuinely cares about me and we get to do the sweet romantic stuff all the time but when it comes to playtime ohh I just want him to make me his, his lil slave to use and abuse as he wishes. It's a MASSIVE turn on feeling my mans cum dripping down my face knowing he's just totally dominated me and knowing he's the only guy ever to do that to me! You must be crazy not to like it!

Originally Posted by ScarletWitch

Are you kidding? I love it when my fiancee does that to me! I love feeling like his, and he's oh, so dominant. Mmm..

Ladies be aware that your experience and desires are not everyone's and we do not allow belittling other's needs or desires here. There is nothing "crazy" about not wanting a man's cum in your face. Far more women probably dislike this than enjoy it. If you enjoy it, fine. Do not make a judgement on someone who does not care for it.

**Abigail Appleton** · 02-07-2011 10:27 AM

Sorry ^_^ xoxox

Yeah everyone is different I suppose. I'm open to anything. Try anything once. I just love being my man's. Just his. No-one else can have me, I love knowing that he's the only one that'll ever do these things to me. Oh I just want him all over me, I love it.

It's just the being dominated.. that's the point of it. If yo don't like being dominated, then just tell him you don't.

Or, do what me and my boyfriend do. I love it that he's in charge most of the time. I just want to be his. But also I like it that sometimes when I want to, I'm perfectly free to be bossy and take control too! So take it in turns. Tell him if he's to dominate you and make you his, then, same applies to him on another night.

**JanaM** · 02-07-2011 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Sometimes there is great pleasure in doing something that you know pleasures your partner so much. So long as he is appreciative of that and doesn't take it for granted, it can be a great addition to your love making. Since for you the pleasure is in pleasuring him, why not keep it for special occasions?

I will, it is not something I would like to do regularly.

Originally Posted by WildChild

My personal experience has been that when you do something just for them, they can be super appreciative but if it becomes a frequent thing, it loses it specialness and sense of being a gift and starts being taken for granted and when that happens it can get difficult, especially with a very dominate partner. Once it becomes expected you will lose the joy of giving them a special pleasure and it could become an uncomfortable situation for you when you realize that it is happening frequently and is no longer appreciated.

I can understand that, but I believe it is not an issue with him. He is very clear about what he likes, but he doesn't pressure me. For example, he's told me that he loves to have me wear stockings and heels to bed, yet he doesn't ask me to wear at specific times. A while ago, I didn't feel like dressing up for a week, but sometimes I'm in lingerie the whole weekend and he loves it.

**rcoreyus** · 02-07-2011 02:55 PM

I think in an ideal relationship, each person will go out of their way to please their partner, even if that means doing things they don't particularly like. I'm not recommending that people do things they find truly disgusting, or painful, but I think it is worth doing a sexual favor for your SO IF (and this is a critical IF) they also go out of their way to please you.

If you do this for him again, you can also feel free to ask for anything you want that you might have been shy about before.

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-07-2011 04:01 PM

"I've always thought facials to be very humiliating"

Originally, I stopped reading your thread after reading the above statement. I'm pretty cut and dried about doing things "to" or "with" my partner that she objects to, no matter how much I might think I'll enjoy it.

Frankly, I think it's that simple...you said NO, you don't like it (or something similar) so there's where it should end as far as I'm concerned.

Then I read the rest of your thread about you allowing him to do it, how much he enjoyed it, how he cleaned your face off, etc. and how you still have mixed feelings about it.

I stand by my original response.....it's over, it's done, it should NEVER be revisited again....special ocassion or not.

You don't like it. If he LOVES you, he will see that...if not, have him read your thread here, and he should respect you enough to recognize that. IF he doesn't, then that is something different altogether.

It's just my opinion....

**rcoreyus** · 02-07-2011 06:18 PM

I guess I would compare a relationship where each person only does things that they personally enjoy with one where each tries to do what their partner enjoys. Personally I would prefer the latter - I would be happy to do things that I don't enjoy in return for my spouse doing things for me that she doesn't really enjoy.

I've sometimes thought of making a computer program that would let couples enter their feelings for various sex acts, and then rate them.

0 = things i won't do
1 = things I don't like but will do if you really like them
2 = things I'm happy to do, but the don't do anything special for me
3 = things I really like and want to do
4 = things that I desperately like.

Then if either puts down 0, they don't do that. Otherwise if the number add to 5 or above they do.

This would be for a wide range of things from "intercourse in missionary position" to "ejaculate on her face" to "tie him up and spank him".

Of course the couple could just communicate verbally - but that seems really difficult for a lot of people.