Sex on the first date

**seli** · 02-07-2011 10:00 AM

Hi ladies
I had my first date with a guy I met a few weeks ago. He invited me for dinner at his house as he wanted to cook for me. We had a lovely evening together and he was very polite and didn't make any moves. We had a little kiss and cuddle on the sofa and we stayed up late watching a film. I was too tired to drive home so I stayed over. The minute we got to the bedroom, he literally jumped on me, having not shown any signs all night. One thing led to another and we ended up have sex, or at least trying to. He went soft while he was in me and said he felt too full from eating and so would try again later. In the morning, we tried again but he went soft again.
What do you think caused it? Was he not attracted to me? Was it nerves? (twice though!) Or was he turned off because ti was slutty of me to have sex on the first date??
Opinions please!

**Tool** · 02-07-2011 10:18 AM

Sounds like he has a problem down there. Sometime we guys do Masterbate right before a date so we don't try to have sex the on the first date. So that could explain the first night. But it doesn't explain the next morning.

**demotivator** · 02-07-2011 10:27 AM

1. If a guy asks you out it means that he is attracted to you.
2. If a guy jumps on you after not making any move (even in a safe environment, his home) when he could have it means nerves are being involved. Performance anxiety, lack of experience with the whole dating thing. Patience solves these kind of "problems". The most important thing is that you don't loose your confidence. This issue is not specifically about you, it is about the tradition.

**WildChild** · 02-07-2011 10:32 AM

Yes you probably moved this too fast.
The idea that all men are ready to jump your bones at any time, just isn't true. He may well have not expected an opportunity for sex this fast at all. When you were "too tired" he took it as an expectation and wasn't really emotionally ready for it.

Back it up a bit and suggest that the two of you spend more time getting to know each other and building some real sexual tension first.

**seli** · 02-07-2011 10:55 AM

Thanks for the thoughts and advice guys! Much appreciated

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-07-2011 04:28 PM

I agree with the posts above.

Keep your chin up.

Guys don't cook and cuddle unless they are attracted to someone. So yes, he's attracted to you.

I don't think this is a "problem" unless it were to happen again. IF it does, it's a HIM problem and NOT a YOU problem.

**jns** · 02-07-2011 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by seli

What do you think caused it? Was he not attracted to me? Was it nerves? (twice though!) Or was he turned off because ti was slutty of me to have sex on the first date??
Opinions please!

He may have even found you extremely attractive and ended up with performance issues. That has happened to me before.

I doubt it was because he was turned off by you. Probably a case of nerves. He could be embarrassed by his non performance and may not ask you on a date again. You may have to pursue him a little bit.

Where you using condoms for birth control? I find them a good way to go soft and not orgasm. Lack of sensation is the problem. They leave me frustrated, sort of a cruel joke.

**oxy-moron** · 02-08-2011 05:08 AM

Could be anything- he might watch too much porn-might have health issues- might have had too much alcohol or you could have spooked him.
Possibly first night nerves and performance anxiety mixed together. Possibly he felt guilty that he wasnt showing you enough respect- peoples minds work in strange and wonderful ways.

**sbc** · 02-08-2011 06:01 AM

i wouldn't read into it too much, maybe he was just nervous and maybe he did indeed just eat too much or maybe was just having an off night. but please do not blame yourself or think you were being "slutty"...if you wanted to make love to him then that's your choice and you don't have to make excuses for it nor blame yourself if the outcome was not ideal.

**Mr. Inquisitive** · 02-08-2011 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by jns

He may have even found you extremely attractive and ended up with performance issues. That has happened to me before.
I doubt it was because he was turned off by you. Probably a case of nerves. He could be embarrassed by his non performance and may not ask you on a date again. You may have to pursue him a little bit.

Where you using condoms for birth control? I find them a good way to go soft and not orgasm. Lack of sensation is the problem. They leave me frustrated, sort of a cruel joke.

I second this. I had this happen for about a week once. After it happened the first time I would think about the first time when having sex, because lets face it it was embarassing, and it added undue stress on myself and it happened again. I don't know how I eventually snapped out of it which lets you know that it wasn't that big of a deal.

Now if he has some sort of ED that's a whole other situation.