need a mans thought on this one..

**WildChild** · 02-08-2011 06:53 AM

Darlin having one other partner or 10 is immaterial. If you do not have an exclusive sexual relationship you MUST use condoms. There should be no doubt and no T R Y about it. You don't almost get an STI, you either do or don't and having multiple partners without using protection puts you at high risk.

There isn't much in this situation to be happy about. It sounds like you don't really have a relationship, he just comes around once in a while and has for years? You've had several pregnancy scares. Why are you being so careless of yourself?

**ayeokay123** · 02-08-2011 07:07 AM

=/ might be right. thank you everyone for your help. you guys really helped me see another side of thing.

**Mr. Inquisitive** · 02-08-2011 07:21 AM

I don't think anyone, man or women, is going to offer up information about who they have had sex with while they have been apart during an on again off again relationship. But if you asked then I believe it is only right taht he tells you the truth. However since you guys are involved in the on/off relationship for 5 years tehre is honestly feeling involved between you too. If the answer is yes are you prepared for that answer?

**ayeokay123** · 02-08-2011 07:44 AM

Mr Inquisitive: no i'm not, but eventually i'll have to suck it up. he's single so theres not much i can do about it but to stop having sex with him unless he uses a condom. i asked him if he has any other partners & he didnt respond to the question with a yes or no answer. he insisted i come to his house because "we need to talk." and im not sure if it has anything to do with my question though. im alittle nervous, but im trying to this positive.

**rcoreyus** · 02-08-2011 08:42 AM

Easiest is to ask him. Also, when you say "dating on and off" are you in an exclusive relationship?

**ayeokay123** · 02-08-2011 09:00 AM

rcoreyus: we argued a lot than we ended up breaking up and than he'd leave for months at a time than come back and we'd end up getting back together. but things have changed and ever since the last time we broke up was about 4 months ago we've been friends. but ive been having a really hard time with that. and he seems just fine. and before we had sex we agreed that it was a bad idea. im not sure why he thought so but i know why i did. and now im freaking out because hes saying "we need to talk" i know it could be about anything. but normally when he says it its something that may breaks my heart. but im gunna think positive because it could be something way different.

**T-man** · 02-09-2011 05:20 AM

AyeOkay, I think you got the point on the condom issue but I see another issue.

You need to seriously think about what you want. You've spent 5 years with this man. He hasn't spent 5 years with you. In the time when you have been apart you remained with him in your head while he went off with other people. Now, you weren't together, that was ok however you may have missed many chances for happiness with other people but you haven't been with anyone else. While this is admirable I think the time has come to make a decision. How long are you going to wait until he "sees" you are the one for him? That's what you're waiting for right? For him to wake up and see that you are all he needs? What if he never sees this? Are you going to waste your life waiting? Don't you deserve more than this?

I think if you really love this man and want to be with him then you need to tell him this and try and make it work. However If he says no then you need to accept it and finish it and move on with your life for your sake. No more waiting.

A woman as loyal and devoted as you are deserves much more than the way you are being treated. Right now he has no fear of losing you, he has no respect for you as he thinks he can have you whenever he wants. I'm sorry Ayeokay but he will never see you as the "one" if he doesn't respect you. If this man doesn't make you happy then get back out on the market and find someone who will.

Do it for youself :-)