need a mans thought on this one..

**ayeokay123** · 02-07-2011 07:54 PM

okay so, me & my ex boyfriend [now] were dating on & off for almost 5 years now. when we first started having sex we used condoms but stopped after awhile. now it's leading on to 5 years & out of no where brings a condom out. & uses it. what does that mean? is he having sex with someone else?

**jns** · 02-07-2011 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by ayeokay123

okay so, me & my ex boyfriend [now] were dating on & off for almost 5 years now. when we first started having sex we used condoms but stopped after awhile. now it's leading on to 5 years & out of no where brings a condom out. & uses it. what does that mean? is he having sex with someone else?

That is one explanation, that he is used to using condoms with someone else so he unconsciously used one with you.

Other explanations are that he hears footsteps and is more concerned now about getting you pregnant or he is more concerned about getting a disease. Has there been any problems with birth control lately? Has he became worried if everything is clean?

**ayeokay123** · 02-07-2011 08:40 PM

no he's never told me about any concerns of using a condom. it was just very random, we've never thought about using condoms until he brought out the condom. but eventually he took it off and we didn't use a condom after that. i kind of took it offensivly, but i probably shouldn't have. and after all we've been through regardless if he left and did his own thing o9r had other girlfriends while we were talking to eachother or dating i wouldn't have sex with anyone else. and when he came back and we had sex we didnt use a condom. i guess its just wierd that all of a sudden he wants to use one. i'm not sure if i should take that offensively or take that into consideration. or if he's having sex with other females that i dont know about. or if he's scared or was just testing to see how it feels to use a condom on me.

**LanaBear** · 02-07-2011 09:02 PM

Can you ask him why exactly he feels the need to use a condom when one hasn't been in play for a few years now?

**oxy-moron** · 02-07-2011 11:16 PM

Hi- Condoms cost money and dont feel as good- if you know where he keeps them they should have an expiry date or mfg date- so you can see if he is using up old stuff or has purchased a new packet- that would definitely mean he had a reason.

**WildChild** · 02-07-2011 11:24 PM

If you think he may be sleeping with other women you should certainly be concerned that he is absolutely always using a condom with them or he MUST use one with you. You do not want a lifelong problem over this.

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-08-2011 04:39 AM

"...dating on and off..." That statement alone should make the concern bells ring in your head about protecting yourself from the other women he may be having sex with.

**T-man** · 02-08-2011 05:48 AM

Dating on and off - when was the last time you guys had sex before the condom incident?

are you seeing anyone else? Is he worried about you, is he worried about passing something on to you, is he worried about getting you pregnant, did he have a scare or close call with another woman?

If fairness ayeok123 - this is a question we can't answer. Only he can answer it and if you felt uncomfortable about it at the time you should have called him on it then, before you had sex.

Wildchild is right, if one of you is having more sexual partners then you absolutely should wear a condom. It's not offensive, it's responsible.

**ayeokay123** · 02-08-2011 06:27 AM

oxy-moron, no i haven't looked at the expriration date but i know where he keeps them now.
wild child & t-man, yeah your right about if he has several other partners to use protection. but t-man it's been months since we've had sex before the condom incident. but theres been his ex girlfriend who's claimed they've had sex and a couple months ago when some how she got my number (ex boyfriend claims shes sneaky and she didnt get my number from him when i asked) they were still having sex. i asked him about it and he denied the whole thing. he said he hadnt seem or talked to her for months. im seeing no one else. even though were not together and i was talking to someone else i refuse to have sex. i guess since ive been with this man for so long on and off now that i only feel confortable having sex with only him together or not. but since were not together theres no sexual relations between us that much. as far as pregency goes, im not sure. as far as me and him goes theres been several incidences where i thought i was pregenat but wasnt but this was years ago. i mean honestly. if you were having sexual relations with other women would you let me know? i asked him im just waiting for a response. what if he says no to not having any other partners?