Allergic to husband...kinda

**auntie_awesome** · 02-09-2011 10:14 PM

I'm allergic to nuts. I'm allergic to just about everything else too...name a food, I'm likely allergic to it. The only meal I can safely eat without worry is a rye sandwich with hazelnut spread and garlic. Gross right? lol

I carry an epi pen with me for a reason...god forbid I get crab. I had a bowl of peanut butter cereal last week and was sick for a day and a half.

Here is the issue. Sex with my husband first...makes me break out in a rash every place he kisses. Second, too much kissing and exchange of saliva makes me cough and clear my throat. The coughing gets really bad. I took an allergy pill, but I think I took it too late.

Is it too much to ask him to just give up nuts?...and likely some of the other foods I'm seriously allergic to? There are scientific articles now to back this up. For the longest time I thought it was normal to break out in a rash...but then I realized it was only where he kissed me.

I'm desperate to enjoy sex without messing things up by coughing when things are picking up or pushing him away slightly so I can breathe.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm desperate!!!!

**zazzyzara5** · 02-09-2011 11:13 PM

I think it would be perfectly acceptable for you to ask him to give up nuts!! Sex has to be enjoyable for you too otherwise he'll eventually wind up with a wife who will always associate sex with nothing but complete discomfort!

I'm desperate to enjoy sex without messing things up by coughing when things are picking up or pushing him away slightly so I can breathe.

Remember sex is definitely not all about him -- ask him to go off those foods that you are the most allergic to for a while and see if it makes a difference

**jns** · 02-09-2011 11:46 PM

Have you two talked to your doctor together about your allergies? What has been his response to you asking him to limit the foods he eats? You must eat other things or else you would have a disease related to not getting a full compliment of proteins. What can you tolerate as far as foods? Have you been fully tested for allergies?

**auntie_awesome** · 02-10-2011 06:25 AM

I've been fully tested and have a list. I can't actually avoid every food I'm allergic to, otherwise I can't eat...but I can only cut out the ones I'm severely allergic to, it includes all nuts, calamari, crab, coffee, and a few other things. That's what I'm asking him to do...I just want him to try it to see if it helps.

We've been together for 10 years, but it was only last year that I realized it was allergies. Then it was only around October or so that I figured out for sure that it was food allergies. Every single place he kissed, I ended up with a circle-looking rash or welts. SOOOO itchy. Really, for 10 years I thought it was normal to be covered in a rash....there are days I feel like an idiot, lol.

Last night was just awful. I really mean it...not him, the coughing. The coughing was just horrid, the clearing my throat was awful, the runny nose....I can't turn off my brain and enjoy it if I'm thinking "Okay, just breathe, breathe, don't cough, breathe" it makes it difficult to just focus on my husband. I'm thinking "It's not sexy or attractive to rub at your ear because it is on fire and itchy, don't do it" or "Please don't let my nose run too much".

His reaction wasn't very good to being asked to give up nuts. Bascially, that's why we got out of bed, so he could do research and I could show him the articles that back up what it is. I sent him everything I found, and he still didn't want to. I told him I got used to soy nuts, I'm sure he could. I asked him to just try it and he just didn't want to. I *think* he finally agreed to give it a shot....but I think he wants to wait until he eats the rest of the nuts he just bought.

Really, I don't want to keep dreading sex because I'm going to end up with a rash that covers a good portion of my body or coughing through it! It's so so so embarrassing and I feel like this is my fault and my problem. I feel guilty for even bringing it up with him, but I'm desperate. My part is I'm going to try taking extra allergy medicine through the day just in case. My other suggestion is scheduling sex so I can be sure I get enough allergy medicine...he vetoed that though.

**waya** · 02-10-2011 09:16 AM

You have nothing to feel guilty about. This is a completely reasonable request.

**oxy-moron** · 02-10-2011 01:13 PM

Hi- It would also be in your best interest to sort out the cause of your allergies. People die form nut allergies.

Google Candiada Albicans and Allergies or get a book called The Yeast connection.
Have you been on long term antibiotics or the Pill. Do you get bloating after eating sugar or sweet foods?

**auntie_awesome** · 02-10-2011 01:33 PM

I've had allergies like this since I was a child unfortunately, however they have gotten severe in the last couple of years. I've only been on the pill for a year now and it is to treat my PCOS. I don't often take antibiotics and I don't suffer from bloating after eating sugar or sweet foods.

My grass allergy used to be so bad I couldn't go out in shorts to play, lol. In high school, my mom would feed us toast with peanut butter on it and each time I'd end up throwing up. Nut allergies weren't as popular back then so I was never checked. We found out the extent of my allergies just last year and since then have linked foods with certain things that were happening. Due to a suggestion from another member here, I also went paraben free for shaving gel and no longer break out in a rash on my legs after shaving.

My problem is....I have no one to normally ask...so I assume everything is normal until I find out by chance it isn't, lol.

On a positive note, my husband threw the peanut butter cereal he was eating away. He still has nut clusters on top of the fridge...but maybe he'll get rid of those too!

**ItsASecret** · 02-10-2011 01:40 PM

Have your allergies been as long as you can remember? As in basically from birth, raised without those foods around, or did you develop into them with a sudden spike in reactions at a certain point in your life? With severe allergies there is really not much that can be done other than limiting the source of the problem (with the extremely limited diet), or the 50/50 chance of allergy shots. When your immune system has been wired from birth for example to respond in a certain way to just that foreign body-the certain food, you are basically at a loss because your immune system will recognize that particle every single time and react in the exact same way it is programmed to do.

The best bet would be to limit the exposure to those allergens, he needs to at least be willing to give up a basic thing like nuts for a week just to see if there is a change in what happens when he kisses your body. If it works then a talk is in order to help the situation for the better, if it does not change anything then it is back to square one with trying to find a way to avoid the foods.

**oxy-moron** · 02-10-2011 02:17 PM

We had success with Nut Allergy with one of my children- he could detect traces of Nuts in food even when the packet said there was none. He can eat nuts now.
We used probiotics and a substance called MSM. It is cheap.
See info below from a website.
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Msm can be very effective for allergy symptoms caused by food, latex, dogs, cats, milk, peanuts, wheat, and various other product allergies.

Msm does not act as a anti-histamine substance, that inhibits histamine production. It's effectiveness is due to it's ability to block the receptivity of histamine in the sensitive tissue of the mucus membranes of nasal passages. This process is believed to prevent the histamine from creating the inflammation, swelling, and fluid build-up that can come with allergies. MSM does not produce any serious side effects, unlike prescription medications and over the counter pain killers, and there are no known drug interactions.

**ItsASecret** · 02-10-2011 02:36 PM

Msm can be very effective for allergy symptoms caused by food, latex, dogs, cats, milk, peanuts, wheat, and various other product allergies.

Msm does not act as a anti-histamine substance, that inhibits histamine production. It's effectiveness is due to it's ability to block the receptivity of histamine in the sensitive tissue of the mucus membranes of nasal passages. This process is believed to prevent the histamine from creating the inflammation, swelling, and fluid build-up that can come with allergies. MSM does not produce any serious side effects, unlike prescription medications and over the counter pain killers, and there are no known drug interactions.

PM me the PubMed research article