Why do people always tell me losing my virginity isn't worth it?

**collegegirl2010** · 02-11-2011 11:49 AM

Just a simple question I have...Why do people(as in "friends") always tell me that losing my virginity isn't worth it? Or they tell me that sex is not all that so stay a virgin. I understand it's just encouragement to keep my virginity as long as I can, but I don't need their help. Don't mean to be mean but if I've kept my virginity for 18 years going on 19, what makes them think I can make up my mind to do the right thing anyway. I mean I didn't keep my virginity because they told me to, but because I love myself and respect my body. And another thing, why do they tell me this if they are still out doing it themselves?
I just want to know, Why do people say this?

**WildChild** · 02-11-2011 12:45 PM

Because they don't have good sex. They are probably not orgamic with a partner.

**tinyclitt** · 02-11-2011 02:16 PM

Sex is great. I wish I had lost my virginity and was having sex much earlier than I actually did.

What is not worth it is: getting pregnant long before you're ready. (Or at all ever if that's not what you ever want to happen.) Or getting a sexually transmitted disease. Or worse. That doesn't mean not having sex, just being very smart about it.

For me personally, the really good sex, really great sex, has come in a long term monogamous relationship. I'm not saying that means marriage or anything silly like that either; it doesn't. Not that marriage is silly or anything, but I think that all that nonsense about not having sex before marriage is indeed nonsense. Certainly DO have sex before marriage in my opinion.

**Texinator** · 02-11-2011 02:26 PM

Losing your virginity isn't worth what?

It's overrated either way. Losing your virginity quickly makes you neither cool nor a "sl*t," and keeping your virginity a long times makes you neither special nor a "loser." So lose your virginity whenever you want to, and don't listen to what your friends say.

**OregonGirl** · 02-11-2011 03:42 PM

Everyone has different opinions on when you should lose your virginity. I lost mine at 19 and I wish I would have done it earlier. I know girls who are in their late 20's who still haven't lost it and the first thought in my mind is "What's wrong with them?"

But WildChild has a good point, people who have bad sex probably wish they would have never done it at all. Everyone has bad sex sometimes.

At almost 19 years old, I'd say that losing your virginity is DEFINITELY worth it as long as you're doing it with someone you care about and not just doing it to do it (like I did).

The bottom line is, you do it when you and your body are okay with it! Don't let anyone else influence your decisions!

**collegegirl2010** · 02-11-2011 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Because they don't have good sex. They are probably not orgamic with a partner.

Usually the people that tell me this are having sex with more than one person within/shorter than a month or two.

**collegegirl2010** · 02-11-2011 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by tinyclitt

Sex is great. I wish I had lost my virginity and was having sex much earlier than I actually did.

What is not worth it is: getting pregnant long before you're ready. (Or at all ever if that's not what you ever want to happen.) Or getting a sexually transmitted disease. Or worse. That doesn't mean not having sex, just being very smart about it.

For me personally, the really good sex, really great sex, has come in a long term monogamous relationship. I'm not saying that means marriage or anything silly like that either; it doesn't. Not that marriage is silly or anything, but I think that all that nonsense about not having sex before marriage is indeed nonsense. Certainly DO have sex before marriage in my opinion.

Well, I have a strong belief in waiting til marriage. I don't know why but I would really like to wait til marriage. I only want to give myself to one man...I may not wait til marriage, who knows but I really want to.

**collegegirl2010** · 02-11-2011 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by OregonGirl

Everyone has different opinions on when you should lose your virginity. I lost mine at 19 and I wish I would have done it earlier. I know girls who are in their late 20's who still haven't lost it and the first thought in my mind is "What's wrong with them?"

But WildChild has a good point, people who have bad sex probably wish they would have never done it at all. Everyone has bad sex sometimes.

At almost 19 years old, I'd say that losing your virginity is DEFINITELY worth it as long as you're doing it with someone you care about and not just doing it to do it (like I did).

The bottom line is, you do it when you and your body are okay with it! Don't let anyone else influence your decisions!

Thanks...and most of the guys I have associated myself with only wanted sex, and I also feel that I'm not ready for sex though I do feel th urge to do it. I know I'm not really. I was thinking about waiting til marriage. And sometimes I definitely feel like something is wrong with me, because I'm still a virgin, but I don't want to have sex with the first guy I start dating/ that I'm interested in.

**WildChild** · 02-11-2011 04:43 PM

Do what feels right. No one else can make that determination for you.

**jns** · 02-11-2011 06:13 PM

cg, wait until you meet the one and it feels right. If that is when you are married, good for you. If it is before, but it feels right, good for you. But make sure it is someone who you care about and that someone cares about you.

As far as your friends, if they were having sex with the one for each of them, I doubt they would be nonchalant about it.