My girlfriend can't orgasm

**Neurotic** · 02-21-2011 02:59 PM

On valentines day I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I was a virgin before then, she has had a couple of sexual partners. I had zero expectation of making her orgasm as it was indeed my first time; and knew I wouldn't exactly be a stallion, nor the most experienced in the roost. Needless to say I didn't, but didn't think anything of it. We both enjoyed it anyways.

We havn't had sex since then due to the fact we both live with our parents and it is hard to find a convenient time to do anything. I was just round her house about an hour ago, and we were talking about sex. She told me about how with her previous partner she always had to fake orgasms as she would never climax. She can make herself climax, but she has to put her legs straight. I suggested that we could just do post-sex afterplay in order to bring her to the point of climaxing, but that idea didn't sit comfortably with her.

So guysss, do you know what makes it difficult for her to orgasm? Is there a way that we can get passed it? Just any suggestions/information about the whole thing would be of great help to us!

Alright thanks guys, take it easy.

**kristalyn_04** · 02-21-2011 03:18 PM

If she can make herself orgasm, ask her to show you how she does it then try to mimic it. Most woman don't orgasm from intercourse, it's all about the clit. If you're both comfortable with it, try stimulating her manually and/or orally. If she isn't relaxed enough and if she's trying to orgasm, it might not happen. Enjoy the journey instead of trying to get to the destination, and it just might happen on it's own.

**oxy-moron** · 02-21-2011 03:39 PM

At least you have good communication going on.
You can still have sex with her legs straight and together - Just insertion is trickier. Just use lots of lube and when you have inserted move your legs to the outside of hers. Dont worry about the big O. Encourage her to provide her own with your support.
Do lots of back and Leg massage on her as pre foreplay. This will pay dividends over months to come.

**jns** · 02-21-2011 04:07 PM

You can find some suggestions in this link: http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-thinking.html .

What have you tried and for how long of a session?

**Neurotic** · 02-21-2011 04:17 PM

Thanks guys.

Gonna sound like I'm shooting down your ideas to the max, but yeep.

She doesn't feel comfortbale showing me how she achieves it, as she isn't really even comfortable doing it by herself.

Same with straight legs. Because it wouldn't be comfortable and would seem forced to her, she wouldn't enjoy it.

What you say about the clit is very true, with my first time I was quite nervous myself the first time, I guess I somewhat rushed the experience and didn't spend as much time with foreplay as I would have liked. I probably completely neglected the clit, but as I become more comfortable and confident that will take care of itself. And wise words about enjoying the journey.

And yeeh, I like the idea of massaging, but she doesn't like massages really either.

Cheers guys.

**LanaBear** · 02-21-2011 04:58 PM

Honestly, it sounds like she is shooting you down before even giving you the opportunity to try.

If she can't comfortably show you how she achieves orgasm, can she guide you?

Straight legs? Does she say it wouldn't be comfortable and forced? Personally, I don't think it is uncomfortable and the movement against the g-spot is insane.

How about just propping her butt up on a pillow so she is slightly elevated? That also allows for your penis to glide against her g-spot and feels incredible.

Has she said why she doesn't like massages?

IMO, she's got to be a little willing to give you some chances here, buddy. If she shoots down every idea you bring to the table, that is not going to get either of you anywhere. Also, just because she didn't like something with a previous partner does not mean it won't work with a new partner.

If I may ask, how old are the two of you?

**Neurotic** · 02-21-2011 05:25 PM

I'm 19, she's 17.

Yes I guess she is somewhat shooting me down, but purely because she is so insecure with herself. She is stunningly beautiful, but doesn't seem to know it herself. I tell her often, not because it even crosses my mind that I should be complementing her, just because I almost can't help myself but tell her she she is gorgeous. But she really doesn't like recieving compliments, and this isn't her being humble, she genuinely doesn't (not that I'm going to stop (or should I?)).

I'd like to give anything a go, but the last thing I want to be is pushy, and even talking about such suggestions she is noticably uneasy.

Legs - By comfortable I don't think she means comfortable in terms of actual position, I think she is more referring to how forced in her eyes it would feel, unnatural I guess.

She has mentioned in the past that her being raised by a pillow is something she would lie to try, so I'm sure we will give that one a go at some point, but she has said that all her previous orgasms have come by clit, and not the g spot, so I'm not sure if this will aid her in climaxing.

Again, I think the massage thing is linked to her insecurities. But we have said that we will give it a go, I'm going to save it until a time where I can massage her properly (home alone), because I don't want to do it half-heartedly and then her be put off. I'd rather wait and do it properly to give the whole masssage thing a good and fair chance.

**LanaBear** · 02-21-2011 06:02 PM

If you can get her to open up, I think the two of you can learn a lot from each other. Being young, there is an element of shyness over exposing oneself to their boyfriend or girlfriend and not being sure how to explain how things feels etc.

Spend some time just getting her to "feel" without the pressure of sex. Be intimate.

You could also do some reading.

There are many many informative books available, many of which us members have read.

The Orgasm Loop is an excellent one, as is She Comes First. Many are available electronically these days and I would encourage you to read them. Get her involved too. Read them together if she is willing.

Check out this thread. It has many other great suggestions.

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...books-sex.html