Thread: Oral sex, without orgasm or intercourse

I need some help and feedback from others, please. My husband and I are 47, we have been together for a year and married for 46 days. Before him, I came from a marriage with a neglectful husband, who did not seem to be sexually attracted to me. I was in that marriage for 28 years. I have felt undesireable, etc for many years. I have been working on several issues present since my divorce, and my new husband has been aware of these issues and has willingly taken on the responsibility of helping me with them. He knows how undesireable I feel, how terrified I am that he will emotionally leave our relationship just as my first husband did. Last night, he decided to give me oral sex, without orgasm and without intercourse, but without telling me what he was doing first. When he had "had enough," he just wanted to hold me. He left me completely unsatisfied and feeling that he had lost interest in me or with having sex with me. I want to know if this is something normal men do, and what would be the reasoning. He said he just wanted to give me pleasure without expecting anything in return, but he has never done this before, and it left me feeling lonely, unsatisfied, etc.

Any feedback, opinions or help would be appreciated. Thanks so much!

I know I am young so its probably hard to take advice from me, I think he was really just trying to make you feel good..
From the guys I talk to, they tend to think that oral sex for women is golden. We may not always enjoy sex as much as they do but we live for oral...at least thats how they make it sound. I think he was thinking that while you both enjoy intercourse, he is treating you by giving you oral and getting nothing in return. As for the no orgasm thing, I know that I personally have a hard time getting off in general, so maybe his mouth got tired, I don't think he meant any harm in any way and because you are guarded and scared, it came across this way.

Dimples is possibly correct in that he was gifting you something rather than trying to achieve any purpose.
At the end of the day it comes down to communication. Men hardly ever get meaningful guidance from their lady so they are often working off poor information gleaned from vague sources. He should have communicated with you first and got input from you.
Of course some people like spontaneity and too much structure and communication may work against it, but in your situation it might pay to establish better communication but in a non threatening manner.