Thread: High sex drive and desire to try swinging

Thank you, Wildchild for reading my long post and for your great advice. Hubby and I are considering visiting a swingers club in a few weeks. We are both so sexually charged right now that I am aftaid that we may decide to take things to a level we are not ready for because we get caught up in the fun and excitement of it all. I just don't want to do anything before we are both ready. We will spend a lot of time discussing and working through our feelings until then.

What you said about the differences between sex after abuse and wanting to explore and play makes a lot on sence to me. I am a highly sexual person and I have had a difficult time comming to terms with it. Not that I think that there is anything wrong with it, I just have always thought it came from being raped and several sexually exploitative relationships rather than from who I am. After doing some soul searching, I realized that I have always been a very sexual person, even before I was raped. I actually remember being able to give myself orgasims as a failry young child, and fantacizing about sex quite often.

I think that because swinging is such a taboo thing, I may take some time to become comfortable with being so interested in it. It is kind of hard for me to accept that I get turned on by, and not jealous of, the idea of hubby being sexual with another woman. If anyone else had ever had these feelings, I would love to hear about them.

Partner and I visit these types of clubs once in a while. NOT to share, but for the visual stimulation that they offer. Neither she nor I are into swinging as it pertains to actually sharing a partner, but the sex can be amazing while visiting one of these clubs.

Something else we do, kind of along the same lines, is visit nude or clothing optional resorts too. Though these are not swing resorts (at least, that's not how they're meant to be). There are nude or clothing optional resorts for swingers too.

Seeker_Advice, Thankyou for sharing. Can you tell me a bit about what some of the clubs are like. I really have no idea what to expect. The one that I am considering going to is an off premise club. There aren't any on premise clubs close to me.

Honestly, I'm not sure what an "off premise club" is, I will assume that it's in someone's home... Regardless, so called swing clubs or adults only clubs are anonymous clubs where people gather to socialize, drink, dance, eat and spend time with others who have like or similar interests.

The women are generally the "focus" and as such tend to dress a little more provacatively then they would outside of the club. There is usually one main room with a BYOB bar of some sort, a dance floor or area to dance, a DJ playing tunes and tables to sit at. There may also be couches or over stuffed chairs, etc. or other areas in which to "play". There may be other rooms exclusively for adult play and/or other areas for more adult play.

Generally, you are free to be as discreet with your play as you desire or as open as you desire. We have a strict "hands off" with no sharing policy, but many other couples allow you to "join in" with one or both of them or you may even be approached as a couple to "swing".

It is quite common to see a couple engaging in an activity with a couple of additional males caressing the other parts of her body (as an example). There are also plenty of more than one woman scenarios too.

I have only been to one "wild" adults only club and it was in a large metropolitan city. Swinging from the chandeliers was pretty close to accurate in that one instance. Most clubs are pretty tame and reasonably "conservative"...all things considered.

If I were you, I'd take some extra clothes, a couple small hand towels, lube, condoms, your favorite toy and an open mind.

We have a lot of fun when we go. Same for the clothing optional resorts. We really enjoy those too.

You certainly have the right attitude within your relationship to swing successfully. We've been a part of the scene for around 10 years and I know for a fact that the only way it works is if both partners not jealous of the other having sex with someone else. In fact it should be a turn on. The fact that you can have sex with someone else doesn't mean you love your partner any less. As you say, it in fact brings you closer, the ultimate intimacy really because you can be open and honest about your desires and know it's not a threat to your love and trust.

Go to a club or a party, see how it works and that everyone there is just a normal couple who just happen to have broader boundaries than other couples. The key - talk a lot about this, share your thoughts and feelings about all aspects of it. Not everyone you meet will work out, you'll have good and ordinary experiences, but you'll experience its together which is what matters most.