Thread: Sudden lowering of intensity in orgasms

I am a 24 year old (semi-sexually active) woman. Before a week ago, I was having awesome intense orgasms as usual from masturbation. But then, like I said, starting a week ago, my orgasms have lost all intensity. I don't even really feel my vaginal walls contracting. It's just a slight notification that yes, I have climaxed and it's really disheartening. I haven't been masturbating more than usual. I'm usually a once a day gal, sometimes twice. I thought maybe I was masturbating too much but my libido is so high, I keep giving it another go, only to be disappointed.

Nothing has changed in my life. Nothing in the psyche or the physical department. I believe I may be ovulating right now as well.

Anyone have any insight into this?

I do this sometimes when I need the emotional connection of sex and masturbation just isn't enough.

I only really have emotional sex in the beginning of a relationship inwhich I am falling in love or perhaps a particularly intense time like after a fight or a break up and getting back together. Other than that, eh. I don't really connect love and sex to get off that much.

Have you considered taking a break?

When you masturbate, do you use an aid of any sort or is it purely by fingers/hand?

And what does "semi-sexually active" mean?

One week is probably too short a period to start worrying. Hormones drop and raise during your cycle and could explain this.

Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice

Have you considered taking a break?

When you masturbate, do you use an aid of any sort or is it purely by fingers/hand?

And what does "semi-sexually active" mean?

Yah, I have considered taking a break. It's just really ridiculously hard because my libido is even higher right now.

When I masturbate, I only use my hands. I've tried many different methods, but it's not as good.

And by semi-sexually active I mean that I have a boyfriend, but we don't have sex that often...not by my choice.

Ok, how about taking a break from your hand and working on it with your man?

If your drive is higher than his, so be it. He may or may not have any idea. Men don't do "hints" and we don't see the line unless the dots are real close together. So unless you've had a nice heart to heart with him about this...he has no clue. Even if you have, it may be time for another conversation about it.

Open, honest communication between the two of you is the basis for a solid relationship.

Before you talk with your BF....How do you HONESTLY feel he "performs" in bed? Does he satisfy you? Completely? Or does he leave you less than satisfied? Having a SO with a higher drive than his may be intimidating.... and he may feel that he can't keep up with your dirve or satisfy it even. So he may feel defeated before he even begins....

My "hint" is to start rubbing his junk. His "hint" to tell me he's not interested is "stop touching my penis." We've talked about it. He tells me that his libido is not as high because he's getting older. He's 31. I thought, hey okay that's fine. And one day, I was coming back into the house to grab something I forgot before going into work and I caught him masturbating and he desperately tried to hide it, whereas before it was no big deal. He says it was the first time he's done it in a while. I have no problem with him masturbating of course. Kind of bothers me that he does it in lieu of sex and I have a feeling that he's lying about having done it only once in a while.

Our sex life is pretty pathetic. For the past few months, it's been in the middle of the night where he suddenly mounts me, goes at it, finishes, then rolls back over to go to sleep. To add an extra touch to his love making skills, he once shoved me to my side of the bed when he was done and also, another time, I woke up to him having sex with me. On the rare occasion we have sex before bed or in the waking hours, he has no interest in satisfying me. He used to really enjoy giving me oral sex, but it has suddenly become all about him. It's the same formula. He physically encourages me to give him oral sex and then we have intercourse and then he's done.

I know what you're thinking. THAT must be the reason my orgasms suck. But even after he rolls over to fall asleep without finishing me off, instead of crying myself to sleep, I'd masturbate and still have amazing orgasms. Now, all that has gone kaput. I honestly don't think that my lowering of intensity in orgasms is due to anything psychological. I believe it's something physical. And essentially it's just driving me crazy because I miss my orgasms

My sexual life does suck, but our relationship outside the bedroom is pretty good. We have fun together, we laugh, we cuddle. He says he loves me. But he doesn't seem to want to even kiss me. I feel like I'm getting friend-zoned here haha.

It is nearly always going to be about hormones. Any reward humans experience is usually provided by dopamine. It is the same with sex.
At orgasm Prolactin is boosted -this raise causes the dopamine that was boosted by sex to be suppressed. This causes deminshed interest in sex. ( I guess so that we dont keep going at it.)
A boost in Oxytocin is also generated at Orgasm and this is associated with contractions. I would guess that you may have been to the well too many times and you need to have a break. You have possibly depleted some neuro-hormone or boosted your Prolactin levels. Maybe get some fishoil tablets to add to your diet. Maybe some exercise.