Thread: Help.! I need some serious advice

First of all I'm new here, and I have a major problem. I just got out of a major relationship and it left me confused,depressed,and alone.HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED: Two years me and a friend I had feelings for started dating. After a few months, we begin to have sex(he took my virginity)and everything seemed cool. He was everything I THOUGHT I wanted.So we moved in together after about 11 months of dating. We had sex ALOT, and I asked him why he was so big on sex. His answer was that he wanted a kid. I didn't mind because I loved him and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him! We tried for months. Finally we went to the doctor to see why I couldn't get pregnant and it turned out that he had a problem and he had a low chance on having kids. he was heart-broken. I felt bad for him so I stayed by his side. After a few weeks something in him change and he wasn't himself. Sex became more painful and then after that it stopped completely. Then one they he texted me and told me he didn't want me anymore. I was devastated! After he came home the night I moved out we had sex(I guess it was a departure or something). When I left I cried for days and did not feel good. My period came late but I thought nothing of it because I knew I couldn't have been pregnant because he was sterile and it was a 10% chance of him having kids. I didn't leave the house much til I moved in with my bestfriend a month later. One day I had a horrible pain in my stomach and some vaginal bleeding. That day I had a miscarriage. I fell into a state of the depression because I was sad for my unborn child and the loss of the only person I ever loved. Last month I saw him at the grocery store and I turned away and cried because I felt bad not telling him about OUR unborn child. Am I stupid? And should I tell him what happened after he left me?

You are too young to get into a marriage type situation. You need to wait till you are at least 25 before you tie yourself down to someone. As you have just seen for yourself you don't see the real person until you have been with them for at least 2 years. Chalk this up to being a learning experience and move on with your life.

Without being judgemental about your age, as I have no idea what that is and it doesn't really matter, I think you would benefit from seeking the advice of a counselor/professional/therapist to help you deal with all that you are trying to deal with on your own (mentally speaking).

I also think it would be a good idea to make an appointment with a physician. Whether that is an OB/Gyn or a family practice "regular" physician is up to you, but you want to be sure that all is well with you physically too.

YOU ARE NOT STUPID. You are dealing with a lot...emotionally, mentally and physically.

I think I would wait to even consider approaching/telling him anything until you've talked it over with a professional.

I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers....

That is quite a sad story but you have no reason to feel bad. Things happen in life that are sometimes beyond our control. As for whether you should have told him or not, I don't think it would be necessary. Considering he broke up with you by TEXT MESSAGE and didn't have the decency to do it face to face after being together a few years, I would have to assume he wouldn't be mature enough to handle news like that in a resonable manner.

The marriage-age thing I think is a mute point. I know people who were married at 18 and are still going stong after 10 years and I know others who were married in their late 20's early 30's that lasted less than a year. However, it is something that should happen naturally, and not something you should go around looking for.