What Constitutes a BJ????

**Mr. Inquisitive** · 03-10-2011 08:05 AM

I was just wondering peoples opinion on what constitutes a BJ? I'm not talking about as part of foreplay, but if your SO says to you something like, "Tonight I am going to give you a BJ", do you expect (guys) or intend (women) this to be done to completion/ejaculation? Do you expect it to mean you are getting/giving a BJ, but not to completion and then we will move onto sex? Just curious.

**baddabing** · 03-10-2011 08:09 AM

Just the act of oral itself - doesn't have to be to completion. I've been with very few women who like the texture or taste anyway (perhaps its me?) and we've finished in other ways whether thats sex or ejaculating elsewhere obviously depends on the moment & stuff.

**WildChild** · 03-10-2011 08:11 AM

Interesting question, especially given that there is a fair percentage of men who do not cum with a bj. I think it is what you think it is. I've generally thought of it as being to ejaculation but have had a few cases where I've about worn myself out with no finish. They were far more effort than many that did go to ejaculation so I certainly wouldn't discount them.

**Seeker_Advice** · 03-10-2011 08:35 AM

"I think it is what you think it is" credit to WC above, as I tend to agree.

**Mr. Inquisitive** · 03-10-2011 09:01 AM

Some background as to why I asked, is that sometimes I have had a BJ offered me and then 5-10 minutes later we start to have sex. Not that I mind because I am all about being fair and pleasing my partner, it's just that part of me is like "Awww I just kind of wanted to get a BJ to completion".

Also oral is a normal part of sex for us, as fore-play, end-play and in-between play, so when I have it offered to me out of nowhere I kind of assume is is going to be strictly a BJ.

**Tod121** · 03-10-2011 09:41 AM

I have been with my wife for almost 20 years and have only cum once from a BJ, neither of us seem bothered or want to finish that way, she has only asked me that once to cum and I willing obliged, not sure she liked it, guess she didnt as she hasnt asked for it since

**caster** · 03-10-2011 10:58 AM

As I've gotten older I'm about 50/50 getting off from a BJ without helping her. She takes it in stride though and enjoys watching me "get it there" toward the end so she can get to finish it without as WC says, wearing herself out.

**WildChild** · 03-10-2011 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by Mr. Inquisitive

Some background as to why I asked, is that sometimes I have had a BJ offered me and then 5-10 minutes later we start to have sex. Not that I mind because I am all about being fair and pleasing my partner, it's just that part of me is like "Awww I just kind of wanted to get a BJ to completion".

Also oral is a normal part of sex for us, as fore-play, end-play and in-between play, so when I have it offered to me out of nowhere I kind of assume is is going to be strictly a BJ.

Just ask. "Do you want me to cum?" or "Where do you want me to cum?'

**rcoreyus** · 03-10-2011 05:10 PM

You can ask for what you want - but she may or may not be willing to do it. It isn't at all unusual for men (or women) to want to sometimes have oral sex to orgasm. Unfortunately some won't give oral at all, or are not willing to finish.

**ItsASecret** · 03-10-2011 05:33 PM

Personally I am not a great fan of oral, I do not by any means hate it but I do not go crazy over it or crave doing it. I just like it. But I do enjoy knowing that I can please him so easily which is why I will never stop giving him oral. Based on that sometimes my bf will ask me to go down on him (he asks does not force) and I will, and he will simply just say "I'm cumming" and its over, if it lasts only a short time he gets frustrated so I believe he had no intention of finishing. At times that is 30 seconds in and other times a few minutes, but he rarely ever flat out says "I just want to finish from oral". He loves it as foreplay so once I have been down on him for a few minutes we will have sex.

Other time he tells me that he just wants oral because it feels so good and asks if I could prolong it for him by doing it off and on over what is almost the entire day. Not long times when I do because he says he does not want to cum, just periodically throughout the day so he can enjoy the feeling. Just to keep up the feeling and his arousal going all day. So I guess in that regard he goes both ways when it comes to bjs. Sometimes he wants sex because he gets so aroused and sometimes he does not want to finish and just wants to enjoy the feelings.