Need Help with Sex and Talking About It

**nyx** · 03-13-2011 07:43 PM

Talking about it, is destroying it further at this point I think that you should fantasize back when you were bonding, emotionally attached, intimate...

when I think back I don't really remember the exact feelings, only that I felt special. Not just that I made him feel good, but also that he was making me feel special. We do still kiss a lot, some less passionate and some more passionate. I have also felt like because of this we are becoming "friends" more than "lovers". So concentrate on dating... I can do that for sure.

I had to leave after typing that little bit and I already started more passionate kisses. We still kiss passionately but it used to be that those outweighed "i love you kisses" and now they don't. I also realized all the things I used to do for David that I stopped doing either out of forgetfulness or laziness. On the car ride I was so excited remembering all those small things like touching his upper thigh or letting him touch mine under a table, or wearing sexy underwear, or even just taking time to make out with him. I am just so glad that I finally got to talk this all out I am so thrilled!! I feel like I can really make some progress with your suggestions. I don't know where I got lost, but now I feel like I can find my way back!

One question: IF/when you stand in front of a mirror naked, what do you see?

I used to hate what I saw, but after what I'm sure was a lot of hard work on David's part I feel pretty good. I feel like I'm beautiful. I feel like I'm talented. I feel like the fact that my eyes are different colors is no longer bothersome. I feel like I'm talented. I feel like my pale skin is pretty rather than creepy. I feel like he'll find me beautiful no matter what I do with my hair. I also don't feel ashamed of how I used to look, before I grew into myself. I feel like he accepts my shortcomings like my stubbornness or short tempered nature. I feel like I don't need to hide myself from him, and I'm proud of who I am with him. We are polar opposites when it comes to personalities and I feel like we balance each other pretty well.

I'd like to suggest that you do a search or even an Advanced Search to find the books on sex or books about sex thread.

I will take that suggestion with me right now. I'll look up some books and when I get paid next I'll order them. That's such a simple suggestion that I CANNOT BELIEVE I didn't do it already. I feel kind of stupid actually.

Thank you all so much. I'll be glad to hear more suggestions, but as of now I'm going to role with CW's and SA's advice. I appreciate all this so much. I am so relieved that I could cry actually. I really can't put into words how grateful I am. Thanks guys, it really means a lot.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-13-2011 07:50 PM

nyx, I got goosebumps

You know, initially, it's so exciting, the lust part, the sexy underwear, his reactions, makes your heart skip a beat, remember?

I'm here to tell you and I know Seeker will too, that, that actually never stops, because relationships are hard work much like a job is or growing vegetables, it takes nurturing, trying different things, taking the time, and the result IS FEELING SPECIAL, LOVED

It is too easy to relax, stop those things, and fall into the friendship zone....that's called Divorce

CW

**Seeker_Advice** · 03-14-2011 12:02 PM

Ditto.

LOVE never stops...it changes as I/she/we change.

**nyx** · 03-20-2011 01:46 PM

I just wanted to update and say that everything is going great! I really feel the intimacy now. I'm not sure if it had to do with those sweet things we used to do for each other, or the simple realization that that was the problem. The point is that both are happening and we both feel really great. I have also been trying to tell him what I like in bed and he really likes it and so do I LOL. I really like that CW mentioned to stop talking about the problem. To me that kind of said that the solution was more important and that's what I've been focusing on. So I feel like everything should be going awesome as long as I don't forget about all this again. I also wanted to thank you guys a lot for helping so much. So Thanks!