Thread: I can come, but not with him :(

I've been with my boyfriend for half a year and I love him very much. I have only had 2 partners other than him, and with him sex is incredible...it was so boring with the others, but I love doing it with him. He does whatever I want, and puts my needs before his. It always feels so amazing, however, I've only ever come once. I can come easily when I masturbate and watch porn, but with him it's very difficult. I've gotten close a couple of times, but I can't make it happen. I've been faking it, because he would beat himself up over it if he knew he couldn't get me to come. Since I know I CAN come (through masturbation and once with him) I don't know what to do. The sex is great, so why can't I come all the time?

Possibly the worst thing you can do is fake it. It will do is reinforce the wrong behaviour.
Stop watching porn. It is bad bad bad. It will only make reality harder.
Have you masturbated for him- so he has an idea of what works on you. Get him to play with your labia while you do your thing. If you can come like this it will help release any performance anxiety you are feeling. Get him to talk dirty to you while you are doing it if you are comfortable with it.
Get into massage before sex.

What positions do you try? Try girl on top then you can control everything.

Originally Posted by irish angel

What positions do you try? Try girl on top then you can control everything.

Little secret here: he'll like it too!

yes, we do woman on top a lot. we both love it. that is how i came the one time, and thats how ive come very close many times. and yes, ive stopped watching porn for that reason. i feel like since i know i CAN come, this isnt a big deal. its not like its impossible, i just need to figure out exactly what i want. but i still find it strange that i can make myself come so quickly when masturbating, but during the sex which is really good, it is very difficult