How can I do safe sex without getting pregnant?

**wanton** · 03-16-2011 09:30 AM

Pregnancy is a challenge facing we women. Males are free of this trauma of going through a period of one year with a baby in our womb.

I hate tools when it comes to checking births. I was told by my friends, and I have not got it confirmed by a medical doctor, that we can make love without using condoms or other preventive devices if we do it at some particular intervals or like after ten days of menstruation or something like that. I do not think this forum is short of experts and I seek their advice or expertise.

**WildChild** · 03-16-2011 09:41 AM

That kind of method is the rhythm methods and it has limited effectiveness and is not for people who are impulsive, have sex after drinking or who are given to throwing caution to the wind. It requires very careful monitoring of your body and your cycle and is best suited to people in a stable relationship who would rather not have a baby but are OK with it if they do.

**pretzel** · 03-16-2011 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by wanton

Pregnancy is a challenge facing we women. Males are free of this trauma of going through a period of one year with a baby in our womb.

Then why are you even contemplating what it is your contemplating. Only you are in charge of your body and who you have sex with and the chances of getting pregnant.

Originally Posted by wanton

I hate tools when it comes to checking births. I was told by my friends, and I have not got it confirmed by a medical doctor, that we can make love without using condoms or other preventive devices if we do it at some particular intervals or like after ten days of menstruation or something like that. I do not think this forum is short of experts and I seek their advice or expertise.

Again, why are you even considering playing with fire and taking your chances on someone else pulling out or you not in tune with your cycle. As WC put it, the rythem method is best suited for couples who would welcome a pregnancy but aren't actively trying toget pregnant.

Personally you need to get over the stigma (or hate as you put it) and go on birth control.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-16-2011 10:28 AM

FAM is quite different from the rhythm method, and I believe that when done correctly can be very effective. What WC told you about the rhythm method fits in this as well. FAM is not fool proof. It requires daily charting of your temp, cervical fluid, and even cervical position. And it requires total abstinence during your fertile period if you are not willing to use condoms or diaphragms. Using this method requires lots of reading and learning, so that you know all the ins and outs of what to look for, what to avoid, how things work. It's shocking how many women don't truly know how their own bodies work.

that we can make love without using condoms or other preventive devices if we do it at some particular intervals or like after ten days of menstruation or something like that.

No. Definitely not. Many women ovulate 10-20 days after the first day of their period. If you have unprotected sex during that time, you're asking to get pregnant. The only true way to know when you are fertile is to chart.

I support your efforts to stay off hormonal bc. I'm in the same boat. At this point, I simply refuse to do that to myself anymore. And it's true that condoms aren't the most fun in the world.....but I expect neither would be an unplanned unwanted pregnancy. Same with diaphragms. As adults, if we are responsible enough for a sexual relationship, we must also be responsible enough to take care of ourselves. It sure would be nice if there were an option for men to take a little more responsibility and burden of birth control. But we must deal with what we have.

If you want to stay off hormonal BC bad enough, you'll use the methods available to you responsibly. Condoms or diaphragms in combination with FAM is a great start.

**WildChild** · 03-16-2011 11:24 AM

I would add that unless you are in a monogamous relationship you should be using condoms every single time. You don't just want to keep from getting pregnant, you don't want any diseases! A child will grow up and eventually leave home, many diseases will be with you for life or will take your life.

**jns** · 03-16-2011 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

FAM is quite different from the rhythm method, and I believe that when done correctly can be very effective. What WC told you about the rhythm method fits in this as well. FAM is not fool proof. It requires daily charting of your temp, cervical fluid, and even cervical position. And it requires total abstinence during your fertile period if you are not willing to use condoms or diaphragms. Using this method requires lots of reading and learning, so that you know all the ins and outs of what to look for, what to avoid, how things work. It's shocking how many women don't truly know how their own bodies work.

No. Definitely not. Many women ovulate 10-20 days after the first day of their period. If you have unprotected sex during that time, you're asking to get pregnant. The only true way to know when you are fertile is to chart.

I support your efforts to stay off hormonal bc. I'm in the same boat. At this point, I simply refuse to do that to myself anymore. And it's true that condoms aren't the most fun in the world.....but I expect neither would be an unplanned unwanted pregnancy. Same with diaphragms. As adults, if we are responsible enough for a sexual relationship, we must also be responsible enough to take care of ourselves. It sure would be nice if there were an option for men to take a little more responsibility and burden of birth control. But we must deal with what we have.

If you want to stay off hormonal BC bad enough, you'll use the methods available to you responsibly. Condoms or diaphragms in combination with FAM is a great start.

Let me expand on this form of contraception. First search for [calendar based contraceptive methods wiki] and go to the wiki hit. You will see a wheel of fertility and infertility. You need one more piece of information to make this work. A man's sperm can live up to 5 days in a woman's uterus. Therefore, if you have sex on day 3 of menstruation, and you ovulate on day 8, it is possible that the sperm will still be alive to impregnate you. BTW, you can use the same knowledge to maximize your efforts to get pregnant, if so desired.