Thread: Making sex less painful

I am speaking on behalf of my girlfriend who suggested this forum to get some advice

I have looked everywhere on information on how to make mine and my girlfriend's first time less painful. We have tried to do exercises, but even using my finger inside her makes her pull back in pain. She suggested trying tampons to loosen her up even slightly. We have been communicating really well, but haven't been able to come to any successful attempts. We have attempted sex maybe 3 or 4 times now and she gets too nervous about the pain and tightens up and pulls back. Is there any suggestions on how we can work to make it less painful during sex, even if there is some pain in the preparation?

thank you!
cameron

Sounds to me you might have her consider getting checked for Vaginismus-type that in Google-to learn more about-also she should do some research on Emperferated*Hymen- Has she had a papsmear or anything like that b4? ever been to the gyno? are they able to insert the speculum* I have the same prob. I've been married a year and still havent made love to my Husband-too scared to go to the Dr. though-good luck! let me know what you come up w! and Kudos for being such an understanding and caring Boyfriend-my husband is the same way-there arent many of ya'll left out there! lol! So thanks for being that way! I know she really appreciates it! God Bless! Hope things work out!

okay well, I was always afraid of my having sex for the first tiem cause evryone says it hurts... then at the beginning of high school my sex ed teacher told me that the only way it would hurt was if the girl was not into it... I think the problem is that everytime you two are about to have sex she starts worrying about the pain.. her mind is on pain instead of "the moment" and because of that she isnt "into it/turned on" enough and hasnt become "wet" if shes wet it wont hurt ( i know that from experiance... i know that when im not turned on yet that it is somewhat painful") and you dont have to answer this but how many fingers do you use when you finger her.. because if you start off with two or three withoug just fingering her with one then it will be painful because her vagina will not be "Streched out" enough... the tampon thing i wouldnt know about because ive used tampons ever since ive gotten my period.. so idk if that helped me in the sex department or not

Go to any local drugstore, Wal-Mart, Target, the grocery store, whatever, and buy a good, water-based lube. Yes, it might be embarrassing that first time you walk up to the counter, but it will totally be worth it.

I would suggest using the lube on your hand first, and start out by fingering her. I can almost guarantee this will be very pleasurable for her, and will relax her for sex, either then or at a later date. And be slow and gentle.

It's nice that you're so concerned about her well being. Keep it up.

If she were in pain only during sexual relations with your weiner, I'd suggest lubes.
If fingers and tampons are giving her that much pain, she needs to see a doctor.

Originally Posted by Naima

If she were in pain only during sexual relations with your weiner, I'd suggest lubes.
If fingers and tampons are giving her that much pain, she needs to see a doctor.

Speaking from personal experience, an unlubed finger, for me, is very uncomfortable, especially if there hasn't been extended foreplay prior to that. I just consider myself very sensitive and slow to self lubricate. Personally, I don't feel that's doctor worthy.

However, if these issues persist after giving lube a try, then that's definitely doctor territory.

I had the exact same problem ... even one finger was always very uncomfortable for me. Have you tried inserting it from a different angle? I found that if you follow the curvature of her vulva and insert without angling your hand/finger away from her body, it's less painful.
The way my ex and I finally achieved insertion without me being in pain was by playing in the shower. It was a very cute and romantic thing with no pressure and I think the water sort of helped with lubrication. I was able to have an amazing first time experience after that.
Don't expect having sex once to "fix" her smallness, though. I was sore for days after my first time, leaving more sex simply out of the question.
Good luck! Hope I've helped, and like everyone else has said, kudos on being so caring!