Married for 3 months and wanted to ask someone so here goes.........

**barbieisadoll** · 03-19-2011 10:23 AM

I married my high school sweetheart. We were both virgins, yeah, hard to believe but true. For 3 weeks, everyday we made love at least once, sometimes twice and he didn't want me to see his penis. Either dark or the covers kept me from seeing 'IT'. He always had to work it to get inside me and then making love was great and I didn't press the issue of me wanting to see it as I figured it would come in time.

After making love everyday sometimes twice in the day, for a week I started getting sore and the soreness wouldn't go away and the next day would come around and I'd say let's just cuddle. Long story short, I told him I was sore from making love yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, and so on. I told him that I thought it weird that he didn't want me to see his penis so I told him I wanted to see it.

After having our first small arguement, he relented and showed me his penis. It looked pretty normal, nothing surprising, about 3 or 4 inches soft. So I told him OK and he put it back in his pants. I was over at mom's and told her about our little arguement and my youngest brother came in, overheard our talking, and later told mom that he had several nicknames, 'Four' as in errant golf misses(yes he plays golf), 'Gibraltar' as in football linebacker(he played hs football), but the one that grabbed mom's attention was 'Tripod'. Mom didn't tell me until a couple of days ago to ask him why they called him 'Tripod'. When I ask him later that night, I could tell he was embarrassed, turning four shades of red, he said it was because of 'when I get a hardon' it's embarrassing and I try to hide it.

I reminded him of the arguement from a week ago and he said I thought you knew, we made love, I thought you knew it got big. Long story short, he was still living out his embarrassment because he is normal size soft or whatever guys call it but much above average when excited. I canceled a doctors appointment after finding out this as I saw several places online that lubrication might help. I'm interested to find out just how big my husband is but right now I think that might be off limits.

Is this normal? Anyone ever hear of this? I'm nearly 22 and he's the first and only one I've been with and I don't want to ask any of my friends about this. It seems so much more comfortable asking online like this. Help?

**WildChild** · 03-19-2011 10:35 AM

My guess is that he is well within the normal size range. If he is this shy about anyone seeing his penis my bet is that he hasn't seen other men erect either. We had some disscusion here a year or more ago about 'growers' and 'show-ers'. Some men aren't much different in size flacid and erect. Others go from quite small looking flacid to a nice size erect, but they aren't any larger than the ones who look bigger flacid, its just that the contrast is dramatic.

Anyway you are his wife, the two of you should be able to share your bodies freely. Many women are reluctant to have the man in their life see them naked. Be encouraging and loving but don't try to force this. In all probablity he will relax and be ok with this in time.

**alicat** · 03-19-2011 10:52 PM

relax, he sounds normal...enjoy getting to know each other!

**barbieisadoll** · 03-24-2011 11:55 AM

On another forum, I posed the same problem and one respondant said bring a tape to bed and tell him you want to measure it and say it in a playful way. Make it a fun thing, building him up while touching and playing with it and then measure it. You'll have him eating out of your hand. Hmmm, sounds like it might work. Any ideas here. I'm just wanting to do something....I'm tired of being/staying sore.

**pretzel** · 03-24-2011 12:29 PM

Let me see if I have this right,

Your younger brother knows your husband. Your husband knows that other people have given him certain nicknames for his erections? Now you're married to someone who not only has been kidded about it but has to interact with one of the people who has probably kidded him about it. I guess I'd be a little insecure about it also.

The good thing though is that it hasn't appeared to have any unwarranted effect on your relationship other than his unwillingness to show you.

Does he know that as far as you're concerned, what others have said is absolutely irrelevant to the marriage. Does he know that he has confidence that you're not going to go say to your mom (or your brother for that fact) that what they've said about it is true or not?

As to what was suggested on that other forum, I totally disagree with that. It may be fun for you, but what if his insecurities about his size are reinforced?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-24-2011 03:20 PM

If you were insecure about him seeing your lovely parts spread eagle, would you want him to keep pushing it? Forcing the issue? Probably not.

I agree, that this is a marriage situation and should not go past your front door...

The connection between two people, souls connecting is the intimacy of sex and in that, it's the touching...

Learn to touch him, tell him he's a perfect fit, and it's okay and let him forget the past, knowing his woman loves every inch of him, as for hurting, definately you need to consider lube, if you are sore...Discuss that side as two Adults ensuring that the intimacy is pleasure not pain.

Nothing to do with size, rather movement and lubrication.

**Seeker_Advice** · 03-24-2011 03:34 PM

What goes on and is said within the confines of one's home should remain within the confines of that home UNLESS it pertains to abuse...emotional, mental or physical. Obviously, this is NOT the case, so keep it between you two.

NO, I would not bring a tape measurer to bed with you...at least not for a while.

YES, I would also recommend that you use lube. IMO - you should be able to make love everyday, almost every day, even more than once per day (sometimes) without pain...soreness perhaps, but not pain.

**LilahX** · 03-26-2011 04:02 AM

It doesn't matter whether he's 'normal' size or not. YOu both have to live with what he's got. If guys are calling him tripod then chances are he is bigger than average as guys are very hung up (no pun intended) on penis size and if they call him big, then he most likely is. Big can be uncomfortable so yes, lots of lube would be a great idea. Lube is a good idea anyway, but especially if your guy is larger. Since you're new to thiings it will take your body a while to get used to his (irrespective of size).

Definitely no tape measure. Since he appears to be self conscious, drawing attention to things is not a good idea. Maybe you could suggest showering together and then soap him up. If he responds then he won't be able to hide things from you. As you're soaping, compliment him on how much you like his penis etc etc Making him feel good about himself will work better than making him feel like he's 'different'.

Good luck.

**barbieisadoll** · 03-26-2011 08:29 AM

I really do appreciate all the responses, they have really helped calm me. Right now I'm going to make another appointment with my doctor. A friend of mine's sister, working as a RN in a doctor's office if I have been using lub, and I have, then I might need to go in for a checkup. She told my friend that if he is that big, his size could be irratating causing me to be sore. Again, thanks for all the comments.

**jns** · 03-26-2011 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by barbieisadoll

I really do appreciate all the responses, they have really helped calm me. Right now I'm going to make another appointment with my doctor. A friend of mine's sister, working as a RN in a doctor's office if I have been using lub, and I have, then I might need to go in for a checkup. She told my friend that if he is that big, his size could be irratating causing me to be sore. Again, thanks for all the comments.

Good luck. Hopefully you will have your answers soon.