I am never in the mood because sex is painful.

**katiex3duh** · 03-21-2011 09:05 PM

Do you believe a person can make themself unintentionally become not in the mood because they are afraid of sex causing them pain? I feel as though I am never in the mood to have sex anymore because about 1 out of every 7 times I have sex I am in pain, and I also seem to be prone to kidney infections. My doctor said if I take all the steps to prevent kidney infections and I still get them, there is nothing I can do to stop them. I also have a condition called interstitial cystitis which causes me to feel pain during and/or after sex anywhere from thirty minutes to all night. This condition cannot be cured and there is not a wide variety or medicine for it. I feel like I am psychologically making myself not in the mood because I am scared of how I will feel afterwords. What can I do to make myself in the mood more often?

**jns** · 03-21-2011 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by katiex3duh

Do you believe a person can make themself unintentionally become not in the mood because they are afraid of sex causing them pain? I feel as though I am never in the mood to have sex anymore because about 1 out of every 7 times I have sex I am in pain, and I also seem to be prone to kidney infections. My doctor said if I take all the steps to prevent kidney infections and I still get them, there is nothing I can do to stop them. I also have a condition called interstitial cystitis which causes me to feel pain during and/or after sex anywhere from thirty minutes to all night. This condition cannot be cured and there is not a wide variety or medicine for it. I feel like I am psychologically making myself not in the mood because I am scared of how I will feel afterwords. What can I do to make myself in the mood more often?

Is your situation caused or partially caused by penetration? Can you enjoy the sex from oral or manual stimulation? If you can find ways to enjoy yourself during intimacy without pain, you may be able to bring your mood back. Obviously, your SO will have to be advised of the situation and be willing to help out. And if your SO gives you pleasure, it would be nice if you did the same for him.