Thread: Boyfirend not interested in sex, would rather watch porn

Me and my boyfriend have been together about a year and a half now. When we first got together we both decided to wait till we really got to know each other before we had sex for the first time, take things slow since in our passed relationships with other people we rushed into things. Well about 3 months after getting together we finally did it. It was amazing. Since then we've had sex maybe once a month, if that. Its been over 2 months now since we've done it. He is a little over weight as am I. He never wants to have sex though. I've asked if it was me and he said no. He watches porn on the computer by himself when no one is around. It doesn't bother me its just he watches it more then we have sex. I don't know how to talk to him about it since we've never really had a good sex life to begin with. The other night when I got home I saw him through the window on the comouter. By the time I got inside he was in the shower which makes me think he was masterbating to it. The history on the computer said he opened a video just 5 minutes before I had came home. I ove him dearly and we both want to spend the rest of our lives together I just don't know if the sex will be there or not......

Hm...Maybe he is into kinky things...lots of people are into lots of different things....=\ Perhaps find out what he likes and try it that way? If its something you don't mind anyway.My bf and I don't like to have traditional sex.We would rather do it our way or not at all..Just happens that way sometimes =)

We've tried different things he's just not interested in sex at all with me. The past few times we have had sex I somewhat hinted I wanted to have sex. Him watching porn wouldn't bother me if we actually had sex atleast once a week

As you'll see it said in many other posts like this; Watching porn/masturbating doesn't become an issue unless it affects your sex life. Have you talked to your SO about why he chooses to have sex with a computer rather than make love to you?

Is he stressed? How much time do you spend together being affectionate/intimate? Does he kiss you often? What activities do you do together as a couple that don't involve sex? You don't mention in your post who usually initiates the sex in your relationship; if it's him, is he waiting for you to seduce him for a change? Is it possible he suffers from performance anxiety? Have you sat down and talked to him calmly about your need for physical intimacy and that sex is important to you and your relationship?

I'm sorry for rambling but I really feel for you and I hope things improve for you

Hi
The porn is causing the problem- there are threads on this site about similar problems to yours.
If he has had a long history of porn use he will slowly lose his ability to interact with a real lover. Humans are naturally limited in their sex rate by the Coolidge effect. After sex both parties are cool with each other for a period- However if another potential mate comes along interest rises.This has been proven many times by zoologists.

Porn creates a problem by creating a virtual fresh partner every time- the stand down time is diminished to almost nothing. A type of burnout occurs. Interest becomes more and more dependant on exotic sex practises and all this makes the normal partner less interesting.
Do some searching of your own- show him how damaging it can be. It is taking away his manhood. Stamp it out.

Originally Posted by oxy-moron

Do some searching of your own- show him how damaging it can be. It is taking away his manhood. Stamp it out.

That's kind of ridiculous to think you can just wave a magic wand and "stamp it out". I think women are just going to have to learn to adapt to a world where men have ready access to porn. It's similar to having a guy who doesn't particularly care for your cooking but still loves you. Perhaps develop the relationship in other areas.