I don't want to have sex anymore

**dl51891** · 04-04-2011 12:18 AM

My fiance and I started have sex in April '09 and we had a great sex life until about 6 months ago. He is always wanting to have sex (especally here lately since he will be marching in DCI all summer and wont see me for 3 months) I'm usually up for it but I have never really gotten in the moment. I want to have sex with him but for some reason my body isn't wanting to work right. When we are home we do a lot of forplay and what not and that gets me alittle excited but when we actually start having sex it can last up to an hour and I wont orgasm at all. What do I do?

**WildChild** · 04-04-2011 12:22 AM

Do you orgasm ever?
Can you bring yourself to orgasm?

**lbaker** · 04-05-2011 07:27 AM

Ditto on the orgasm question? Have you experimented on what kind of things turns you on? Not everyone will respond the same way to certain types of foreplay... and if you've been doing the same thing for a while now, it might have lost it's appeal to you. So I would suggest that both you and your fiance make sure you have an open mind and try some new things.

**kristalyn_04** · 04-05-2011 11:39 AM

Are you on any medications? Those can affect your libido, especially hormone-based birth control and some anti-depressants. You said you had a great sex life before, so what's changed?

**dl51891** · 04-05-2011 01:21 PM

I used to orgasm but here in the last few months I haven't be able to. Yeah we have been trying all kinds of new things but nothing seems to work for me.

**dl51891** · 04-05-2011 01:24 PM

I have the mirena but when I got it last January we still had a great sex life. The only thing that I can think that has changed is that now we kind of live together but we hardly ever have sex anymore because we live on campus. But if that is what is causing me not to want sex anymore then I am worried that it'll drive him away when we get married.

**WildChild** · 04-05-2011 02:49 PM

How does living on campus keep you from having sex?

**dl51891** · 04-06-2011 12:45 AM

Idk but for some reason since we started living on campus together in the same dorm room I haven't wanted/or felt the urge to have sex anymore, even when we go home for long breaks.

**oxy-moron** · 04-06-2011 01:49 AM

Hi
You have been together 2 years- this is the point that the magic love hormones wear off. Italian scientists have even measured the time for romantic love to wear off to be less than 2 years. After that you have to work on the relationship to keep it vibrant. Is there any non sexual cuddle time going on? Any compliments given- Are you going out on dates? Are you tolerant of each other? Do you feel like he is nurturing you? Do you fantasise/daydream about him?
The magic love hormones boost sex drive for the early part of the relationship.
Search this site- It has been heavily discussed.

**dl51891** · 04-07-2011 10:35 PM

the only time we ever had no sexual cuddle time was when we first started dating and it only lasted for about 6 months. The only time he ever complimented me was his prom 2 years ago. We've only been on 3 dates, in all reality we really don't do anything an engaged couple usually does. We hardly hold hands, kiss (only when he wants me to do something for him or before we have sex), he hardly ever gives me a hug, he never calls when he's gone, doesn't get me anything just because (never did) [when I get him little random bags of candy, cards,stuffed animals, ect] So I guess we really don't have the spark anymore, which really depresses me because he is all I think about. Is there anything to get that feeling back?