When Should "He" Rise?

**spurzzz** · 04-09-2011 03:51 AM

Hello everyone,

I just wondered if any of you girls had any trouble with a bloke not being able to achieve an erection during foreplay or anything prior to sexual intercourse - unless - he took control of his Penis?

Should we men be able to "think and be aroused" during foreplay? Is it a worrying issue that one cannot achieve an erection without the use of "his own hands" ....

**jns** · 04-09-2011 09:22 AM

I'm a guy. A guy should be able to get an erection from his play or his SO's playing with him or just thinking about sex. Anything short of that is impairment. He could have ED which would make all three situations difficult. But the situation you describe sounds like a guy who has became so accustom to masturbating that he cannot become erect without his own touch. Does he maintain erection during times when he is not leading such as girl-on-top?

**WildChild** · 04-09-2011 09:27 AM

As you get older this changes. A gf and I had a discussion about this a few years back. When we were fresh young things we never saw a naked guy without an erection. As men mature this hyper responsiveness quiets down a bit. When you get into your 40s and 50s males seem to be more affected by fatigue, diet, distractions and then a little encouragement may be needed. This is no different for women, sometimes we are juicy and ready to go right off the bat and other times we need a little teasing and encouragement to get things really wet. In the end as long as you both still want it and can get it all working most of time, it's all good.

With a little lube women do have the advantage of being able to have intercourse even if they really aren't quite into it at the moment but men are kind of stuck with either you are hard enough or you're not. It's good for both genders to have the skill to bring their partner to orgasm without intercourse.

**WildChild** · 04-09-2011 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by jns

I'm a guy. A guy should be able to get an erection from his play or his SO's playing with him or just thinking about sex. Anything short of that is impairment. He could have ED which would make all three situations difficult. But the situation you describe sounds like a guy who has became so accustom to masturbating that he cannot become erect without his own touch. Does he maintain erection during times when he is not leading such as girl-on-top?

Not having a male body myself (I just get to share one and play with it sometimes) I have to defer to those who live in a male body as having more knowledge about this.

**jns** · 04-09-2011 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

Not having a male body myself (I just get to share one and play with it sometimes) I have to defer to those who live in a male body as having more knowledge about this.

Libido is tied to a mental picture. When a guy is younger, the mental picture of having sex is so strong, I can understand why you thought guys were instant erection machines. It is probably related to high testosterone levels as well as good general health. When older, guys want to get the same response, but the other factors may not be there which may be why they turn to more extreme sex as seen on porn.

As for the op, maybe his testosterone level should be checked. Have you tried ED pills such as Viagra, Cialis or Levitra?

**spurzzz** · 04-09-2011 12:22 PM

Hi jns and wildchild

In regards to Erectile Dysfunction, it could be psychological ED perhaps? I know this form of dysfunction is quite common through all ages and im not sure how it works but if it is a sever case of dysfunction then I don't think the penis would rise through any means........or not so hard I guess

Another factor that could be probable would be as jns pointed out the fact that the individual is not in control? when the woman is on top, his erection may not last so much and can get floppy.......also in other scenarios that he is not leading..........

A case of too much Masturbation and being used to his own ways perhaps?

Any tips on how to cure and help this "big problem?" pun intended

**Rediscovered** · 04-09-2011 01:21 PM

Does your lover view porn on a regular basis? If you google "Your Brain on Porn" you will find a website that talks about ED and how it can be related to porn-viewing~~good luck! If this is the case, your boyfriend will need all the support he can get from you.

**oxy-moron** · 04-09-2011 02:12 PM

These are all good and relevant points.
Unfortunately Testosterone goes down in Men as the age and Estrogen has more of an impact on them. The opposite happens in women and they come slightly more under the influence of Testosterone.
The actual mechanism of erection depends on nitric oxide in the blood as well so could be a sign of general health.
L- arginine is an amino acid that can help-google it.

**jns** · 04-09-2011 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by oxy-moron

These are all good and relevant points.
Unfortunately Testosterone goes down in Men as the age and Estrogen has more of an impact on them. The opposite happens in women and they come slightly more under the influence of Testosterone.
The actual mechanism of erection depends on nitric oxide in the blood as well so could be a sign of general health.
L- arginine is an amino acid that can help-google it.

om, how much transfer of testosterone and estrogen is there between partners? I believe testosterone is naturally much higher in males and that the two tend to push in opposite directions, but if a woman has low testosterone as per what is normal for a woman that can lead to a low libido. Does testosterone get transferred between a male and a female and if so would a male with higher testosterone levels get a stronger response back from a woman. Would the response be more male like, that is, more aggressive?

**ItsASecret** · 04-09-2011 02:52 PM

Does testosterone get transferred between a male and a female and if so would a male with higher testosterone levels get a stronger response back from a woman.

Like physical transfer? No. As people age the levels of both testosterone and estrogen fluctuate in both males and females resulting in possible changes in personal affect and behavior, just part of the aging process. Artificial increases can occur with drug usage but having sex will not cause a female to get more testosterone from her male counterpart. Males will naturally have higher testosterone because that is biologically how it is done, same with estrogen for females. There is a balance between both substances in both sexes that when disrupted can result in low libido, increased aggression (this is still up for debate with scholars), various health symptoms and so on. If a male has higher than average testosterone he is not going to cause some change in female behavior unless that man's behavior is different than another man (say more dominating)....in which case it would simply be her preference for maybe a more dominating type man.