Sex problems

**hybridhaylee** · 04-12-2011 05:45 PM

Hello guys, am new here and looking for some advice.
Ok so i started having sex when i was 17, i am now 20 and things have just gotten worse for me. There are a number of problems

First problem - I have no sex drive what so ever, it disappeared when i was 15-16. About then i developed depression but i know how to control that without medication.

Second problem - I cant come while having sex, the only way i can is through my clit. Because he was the experience one at the time i have lied to him everytime telling him i have come so not to hurt his feelings or pride or whatever

i still lie now

Third Problem - I am quite small, 5ft skinny person and very petite. He is massive down below (8 inches, i think or he could be a bit bigger) and we have problems getting him in, its quite painful and i always tear every time which stops sex. We are lubed up too, its like i am too small for him. When he hits the back i shrink in pain

I am not physically attracted to him which doesnt help the mood, i cant get turned on, i have even tried watching porn and there is nothing. Its like my body hates the thought of sex and doesnt want it. Am sure this cant be normal for a 20 year old. I am worried hes gunna stray, i dont talk about it and hes getting impatient as am not even in the mood for oral.

Any help with this?

**waya** · 04-12-2011 06:47 PM

Why are you with someone you're not physically attracted to?

**jns** · 04-12-2011 07:22 PM

It sounds like you are with him to get experience at sex, but then you worry about him straying. What is the nature of your relationship with him? If he and you give yourself orgasms before sex it may help.

**missinthelove** · 04-13-2011 03:03 AM

Not physically attracted? And if you started having sex at 17 then how could you lose your sex drive around around 15 or 16? and there are different positions you could try so it doesn't hurt. Try being on top so YOU control how far he does in. Or spooning or something you have stimulate your clit while he's thrusting to orgasm. Hope this helps

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-13-2011 03:49 AM

I am not physically attracted to him

If you are not physcially attracted to him then that impulses you, therefore, you do not want sex with him full stop, how could you? You have to be attracted to the man physically, and mentally, be intune, in order to want sex/ intimacy...

I think missinthelove, the OP is stating she could orgasm from self masterbation and can not understand why she can not get steamed up now...

I believe our bodies adapt to size, even if we are petite however, you could also be very tight there naturally and so his size doesn't match and nothing will change that..

As for it hurting when he penetrates, he could be thrusting too hard, or hitting your cervix which may be tilted.

The fact in any event that you are not attracted to him, don't enjoy sex with him, means that you are settling why?

This isn't a relationship sweet, you are just there because someone loves you...and is there.

Others will be too, or else he doesn't love you, but it's nice to be with someone.

Time to leave.

CW

**Maximus** · 04-13-2011 04:34 AM

Originally Posted by hybridhaylee

Hello guys, am new here and looking for some advice.
Ok so i started having sex when i was 17, i am now 20 and things have just gotten worse for me. There are a number of problems

First problem - I have no sex drive what so ever, it disappeared when i was 15-16. About then i developed depression but i know how to control that without medication.

Second problem - I cant come while having sex, the only way i can is through my clit. Because he was the experience one at the time i have lied to him everytime telling him i have come so not to hurt his feelings or pride or whatever

i still lie now

Third Problem - I am quite small, 5ft skinny person and very petite. He is massive down below (8 inches, i think or he could be a bit bigger) and we have problems getting him in, its quite painful and i always tear every time which stops sex. We are lubed up too, its like i am too small for him. When he hits the back i shrink in pain

I am not physically attracted to him which doesnt help the mood, i cant get turned on, i have even tried watching porn and there is nothing. Its like my body hates the thought of sex and doesnt want it. Am sure this cant be normal for a 20 year old. I am worried hes gunna stray, i dont talk about it and hes getting impatient as am not even in the mood for oral.

Any help with this?

Is it you "A" ?
I can't believe you came here to unload our issues.
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Just kidding

Before we get into the sex problems, why did you get into the relationship in the first place ?
What moved you enough about him ?
During the first phase, did you experience a different kind, a more sexually intense relationship ?

**oxy-moron** · 04-13-2011 11:05 AM

Hi
I think that the issue here is related to your depression and I suspect to your diet.
If you are depressed there will be an impact on your sex drive.
Start off getting a vitamin D3 supplement in drop form. This is cheap and will have many health benefits- It will help your mood and your sex drive.( Get more sun time as well)
Research Omega 3 Fats. The modern western diet has insufficient of these healthy fats and many trials have shown how effective Fish oil is at balancing mood disorders.
Get more exercise. Cut down on sugar.

Your Boyfriend does not need to use all of his penis. Only the head has any real sensitivity. Just like only the outer 2 inches of the Vagina has sensitivity to stimulation.
He will get just as much enjoyment ( or more)out of using it in shallow strokes focussing on trying to stimulate the outer part of the Vagina with the head of his penis.

You also need to boost your Oxytocin levels through massage. Oxytocin is the hormone that drives orgasm and it can be boosted dramatically through massage.
Get your boyfriend to massage you frequently- 10 to 20 minutes of gentle massage.
This will also help your moods but may take a month or two to work. This will also strengthen your relationship as Oxytocin is also the human bonding hormone- google it.

Good luck