Thread: MEN - Listen up! This is a must read for you!

I know reading is boring, but is your sex life boring too, marriage on the rocks? Read a book titled, "How To Please A Woman" by Pam Babbitt. It will change your relationship with all the women in your life, especially your girlfriend or your wife. Trust me, it will change your life for the better.

My wife was ready for a divorce and we have had very little sex in the past 8-10 years. 2 - 3 times a year wasn't uncommon. I wanted to make her happy again. WildChild on this very site suggested I read this book. I'm getting So much positive feedback from my wife I honestly can't process it fast enough. I was dying for those kisses, her touch and her heart to open back up to me. It's starting to happen again, that spark is coming back. Even if it takes you a month to read it, you've got to. It very well may save your marriage like it did mine. Trust another guy, just read it and learn what she wants from you and what she needs from you. I can honestly say that its making a huge difference in my marriage.

Sounds Good.
So give us an example then-some aspect that worked particularly well.
Thanks
P.Babbit -No relation to the famous Bobbit I hope.

I used to flirt with other women, I seriously thought it was innocent. The whole time my wife was standing there wondering why I never flirted with her. I figured she knew I loved her. The whole time I was undermining my marriage and the female I was flirting with was kind of cold about it, well Duh... my wife was standing right there and her heart was getting broken with every word out of my mouth. Now I totally feel like a heel for doing it. I never knew how innocent flirting could hurt my wife. No such thing as innocent flirting, it's an affair right there in my wife's face. All the while I was clueless why my wife was so cold to me on the way home. I broke her heart and didn't even realize it, absolutely no excuse for my behavior.
I never did this, but my co workers would buy beer after work and the clerk, (female), would ask if they wanted a bag and the guy's would say, "No I have one of those at home.". Guys think it's funny, women think it's awful. I think it's disrespectful and inconsiderate to say it to anyone, especially another female. Men just don't understand- they honestly don't get it.

I do things to free up time for my wife so she can relax, that has been helping our marriage. I've been doing little things I've never done before, like I made the bed this morning before she got out of the shower. She appreciated the care I took doing it and I even got a kiss as I was making her breakfast. One of those special kisses, I'll do anything for those kind. It's helping my marriage because I'm seeing our relationship through her eyes. The book has helped me see how I was destroying my marriage and was clueless about it. I've been a terrible husband, inconsiderate, rude and in general an . Then I wondered why our sex life was gone? Completely clueless, I'm ashamed of the way I acted. I'm putting this out there so other men will see how their actions impact the women in their life. If it helps just one marriage, it will be worth putting my life on an open board for all to see. I'm an open book and I'll answer any questions anyone has for me.
I'd love to have a signed book- just so I can keep it to remind me of how awful I was to my beautiful bride. I love her So much, but my actions hurt her so bad and I didn't even realize it. I just can't tell you how bad I feel about it.

Hi
thanks for posting. It is good to hear of more of WildChilds good results.
I agree things can get into a bad state over time through people slipping into bad behaviours. I am of the belief though, that it takes two to cause the problem.
Would you have flirted if your wife had been paying you attention?
Once the relationship slips out of the early good times then attention must be paid to the needs of the other partner. In your case you make her your sole focus and nurture her- in her case she provides sex and attention.

I probably wouldn't have flirted at all. I wanted and needed for my wife pay attention to me. She was brought up in a non loving family. No one in her family ever hugs each other or says, "I love you." I find that very strange for a person to grow up that way. She has even said that she has very little or even no compassion for people. It makes it hard for me because I'm a touchy, feely type of guy. Things touch my heart, I'm not cold like some people seem to be. My feelings are at the surface and when I get pushed away it comes out like anger, but it's that I'm hurt. At that point, I'm on the prowl for attention I don't get from my wife. (Just being as honest as a guy can be) If I can't find a receptive female, I just draw up into my little safe zone and retreat from the pain of being rejected. At that point I'm off limits to any kind of attention from anyone, and I'll be that way for a couple of weeks. Then it happens again and I might be off limits for a month or longer. When I'm rejected, I go into safe mode to protect my feelings. Some call in a wall, I call it my cave because I retreat into it and I'm cold to anyone around until a receptive female shows up again. It all sounds kind of weird for a guy to express his feelings, but if I don't come out and share, how can I help anyone else or how can anyone help me? I hate being rejected and will do anything to keep it from happening. I'm no expert on women, I thought I had them figured out. Boy was I ever wrong- 45 years of being wrong. I'm not the typical guy though either. I have never physically cheated, (had sex), with anyone outside of my relationships or marriages. I have thought about it, but both of my ex wives cheated on me and I never wanted to put that on anyone else. I've only been with 4 women my entire life, is that unusual for a man? I've been told it is and that I should have dated more that I did. I just couldn't go up to a woman and ask her out. Women have always asked me out, I've never asked. I always figured they would turn me down anyway and why go through all of that pain? Silly, huh? Maybe so, and I've always hated having my heart on my shirt sleeve. It's just how the man made me, so I'm stuck with myself. I'm just a soft hearted guy that hates to be rejected, especially by my wife.
I asked her last night if she ever loved someone so much that it hurt. She said No! I was so shocked by her quick answer, she didn't even give it time to sink in, just "No". I have and I am in that situation right now. When I love, it's with all my heart and soul. It moves me. Then rejection... God, it's the worst slap in the face. At that point, you might as well physically punch me in the face and cuss me out. It's a hard way to live for a guy like me.
Like I said though, I'm not your typical guy. My favorite movie is still, and will always be "Sleepless in Seattle". Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan play off each other so well in movies. Yes, I like and understand "chick flicks". Guess it's the tender heart in me, I just like them.

Good thread, Mark.

Thank you Tex. it's just my feelings and now have an outlet for them. This has been bottled up for years, I feel like I'm being liberated from them.