MEN: Do you disqualify a woman because of a prior 3-way?

**GoodGuy** · 04-19-2011 08:41 AM

(Not a real poll it's more complicated).

Please women, no emotional outbursts here. I'm just trying to get a sense on what other men feel. The men that are compelled to a sexual health forum like this are precisely who are valuable.

Does a prior 3-way disqualify a woman for a relationship with you?

Is there anything else sexual about a woman's past (or present) that disqualifies being serious with them? For example:

prior 3-way, or desire for one? MMF vs. MFF?
prior sexual experimentation or secret interest in other women?
anal sex, or anything else in her past?
Too many prior sexual partners for you?

And have you in someway been tormented by thoughts of such things? Or is it just that it makes you uncomfortable? Or does it not matter at all? Or are some or all of these things somehow a plus in your mind?

Thanks!

**Pheromone Real Guy** · 04-19-2011 08:48 AM

No way.....Women are free to do what they want. There are no rules. Are guys disqualified? Non of that PAST stuff is a plus or a minus. What the two of you have together NOW is the only thing that maters.

**Texinator** · 04-19-2011 09:11 AM

Nope. I don't care about the past, it's the present that counts.

**MarkT** · 04-19-2011 09:23 AM

In my opinion, the only thing that would disqualify a woman is an STD. I'm clean as a whistle and have never had anything like that, nor do I want one.

With that said, if it a disease that could be cured- no problem. But if it's a permanent thing, no way for me. Still tough to turn a woman away just for that reason though, it might not be her fault. He "infected" partner might not have disclosed that particular bit of information. Just a tough question-
Man, I dislike these questions

No right answer, is there?

I'd say it's all in the details and her outlook on it.

**Schroeder** · 04-19-2011 02:25 PM

No this would not bar a relationship.

Furthermore, hearing about any of these experiences would be a turn-on, provided they were positive experience for her. The more she described it in detail, the more excited I would get.

(Why, have you done any of these things? Ha ha....)

Anyway, apparently I am a minority on this kind of thing.

**Seeker_Advice** · 04-19-2011 02:45 PM

Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, today's a gift that's why they call it the present.

I try to live my life for today and not worry about what I can't change, history, or worry about the future, a mystery.

Her history, and it's pretty broad sexually speaking has little bearing IMO on our time together.

**GoodGuy** · 04-30-2011 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by Schroeder

(Why, have you done any of these things? Ha ha....)

This isn't about me, I'm trying to get a sense as to what the frequent denizens of a sexual health forum would say. But a non-answer here sort of answers already in a way, so no, I was never judgmental: I have NEVER disqualified any woman for such things. Though looking back, I truly wish I had disqualified every one of them. It would have saved me a lot of pain from intrusive images.

Ok, thanks everyone. Though limited in response population, this has been informative. It's as I expected---roughly the opposite of what I find to be the attitudes "in the wild". I've been trying this question in radically different venues, taking into account later for statistical slants here and there.

Thanks!

**Maximus** · 04-30-2011 01:31 PM

The past is the past, and the present is a gift...

**ItsASecret** · 04-30-2011 01:59 PM

I can understand why a guy would say no from past history but only in the sense of disease. Diseases can lay dormant for years, they can reappear, they can spread like nobody's business, and people are embarrassed with having any disease leading to a person lying about having one. The simple fact is the most you are exposed to the situation of having a disease (ie. multiple bar night partners with no regard for protection) the greater the chance there is of catching a disease. Sure you can have one partner in life and catch something from them, that is unfortunate but still possible. But if a girl is sleeping around without what seems to be not a care in the world, like the case of no protection, about the probability of catching something than I can understand why a guy would say no based on her past history. Having a threesome implies risky behavior by all members participating because it is not a necessarily common behavior that many people would engage in. Risky behavior is often associated with people who have already had countless prior partners (not always but often), which increases the overall risk of catching a disease. Add in that you have no idea how many or if the partners have a disease (in the heat of the excitement moment people can again lie in order to get the ball rolling) and you have a situation of unknown problem probability. Nothing is absolute though. A virgin could technically have a threesome as her first time, catch nothing, never do it again and limit herself to infrequent protected casual sex in the future and never engage in risky behavior again.