New at giving blowjobs

**Chitown** · 04-19-2011 01:15 PM

These may seem like some pretty basic questions but I still feel like I need to ask them! I've been with a guy for about 2 years now and we've always taken everything very slowly. There's never really been any pressure from either side to engage in certain acts. We both took a while to learn what works for the other person, and I initially had a lot of trouble with him because he doesn't really give any outward signs when he is enjoying himself. He is very generous and loves to please me orally; however, before we were even in a relationship and were just friends, we had talked about the concept of blowjobs and I had more or less told him that I hadn't ever given one and the concept of it was simply not appealing to me at all. Saying that, since we've been in this relationship I haven't brought the idea up and he hasn't suggested it because he knows from past conversations that I wasn't a fan. However, I do know that he enjoys them very much in all his past relationships, and as we've grown closer and closer my viewpoints on blowjobs has changed and it's something I DO want to do for him. However, I am really nervous because he has been with a lot of girls in his past and they've all given him blowjobs, and I have never given one before. He is a lot more experienced than I am and I don't really want to make a fool out of myself, so I'm looking for any tips that a beginner can use. Also, at least for my first time I don't really want him finishing in my mouth. Is avoiding that a possibility, or will pulling away before he cums not be an option? If I do pull away when he gives the warning, is there any way to assure that he DOES cum, so as not to ruin the entire climax by stopping the blowjob? The entire thing makes me nervous but it's something that I really want to do for him. What are some ways to give a hand job/blowjob? Any tips are appreciated, I know it may seem like I'm asking basic questions but these things make me so nervous, especially because he's gotten so many before and I don't want to disappoint him.

**Seeker_Advice** · 04-19-2011 02:36 PM

Welcome to the forum.

We, your 'forum family" want you to feel like you can ask us anything. That's why it's an anonymous forum and probably one of the reasons why you are here. I would suggest that you do a search at the top of the page for other threads/posts on the subject of BJs. This has been discussed at length in the past and you may get all of your questions answered.

The fact that you want to do this for him, from originally not wanting to, is huge! Look how far you've come already.

I would suggest that the most important thing you can do is not worry about or allow yourself to get psyched out about your 'performance' the first few times you do it. Since he is more experienced, once you've got him in your mouth and your licking the head and shaft of his penis, ask him what feels good to him. What does he like and not like?

I would also encourage you to use one or both hands to stroke his shaft, similar to what you'd do with a HJ, only now your tongue and mouth are involved. Focus your tongue and mouth on the top third or top half of his penis and use your hand(s) for the rest. Men and men's bodies are very good at giving off signals both verbal and non-verbal. Watch, look and listen for them.

I'm sure you'll do fine.

Good luck with your search.

**oxy-moron** · 04-19-2011 02:54 PM

Some things to consider
Avoid teeth contact.
Use hands.
Lots of Saliva.
A very effective bj can be just a slippery hand job with mouth support.
Get feedback.

**WildChild** · 04-19-2011 03:39 PM

Here's some threads you may pull some ideas from, I can't find some of what I was wanting to though.

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...out-you-2.html

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ve-head-4.html

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...j-ever-10.html

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...s-wrong-2.html

**kristalyn_04** · 04-19-2011 04:15 PM

Confidence and enthusiasm will always win over skill.

**oxy-moron** · 04-19-2011 04:39 PM

I agree with kristalyn04- some noises of enjoyment would probably go down very well too.

**rcoreyus** · 04-19-2011 10:57 PM

The fact that you are willing to try this for him will mean more than any skill other girlfriends have had. Try yourself, or let him show you what he likes. As far as him finishing in your mouth - find out from him if it matters at all. Some men don't care at all about this, for others it is the most important part of the whole thing.

**randomguy2011** · 04-20-2011 12:46 PM

Random Tips:

1. Most man will signal somehow when they are going to finish, pretty much unwritten law. If you're still nervous just tell him you don't want him to finish in your mouth or try and be real sexy and say you'd rather watch him cum. Something like that.
2. When he signals pulling off and continuing a handjob so he can finish is pretty standard
3. Avoid teeth dragging, even a little is usually painful, at least for me.
4. Swirl tongue around on bottom side of his penis
5. Enthusiasm will make it 100% better for him
6. Men are visual. Best BJ was my GF in a sexy thong topless. Good view and sensation.

**LilahX** · 04-21-2011 07:11 AM

Its so great you want to work on this for your man - and for yourself. Naturally things will improve as you gain experience but there's plenty you can do along the way :

Genuine enthusiasm and enjoyment. Love the the feel of him in your hands and your mouth. Love his responses (he has them even if yr not aware). I've read here that women seem to treat giving oral as a chore and something to get over with as quickly as possible, but if (like me) you can totally immerse yourself in the sensuality of the experience, it will be a better experience for him.

YOu don't have to go at it like a porn star and suck for all your worth for the whole time. As much, if not more, pleasure can be given by just the tip of your tongue, or one finger, if you know where to apply the pressure. Be aware of his responses when you try different things in different places and when you find what he seems to like best, keep at it.

Find out if he likes his balls being attended to as well (some do, some don't) and treast them gently. You can venture even further to the area b/w them and his butt - very sensitive.

Just enjoy the journey you will take together.

**WildChild** · 04-21-2011 07:29 AM

To start with you don't even need to take his penis in your mouth. Start with kissing him then trail your tongue down his body or playfully kiss here and there, all over. When you get to his penis think ice cream cone. Lick, up one side down the other, all up, all down, Know how you lick around the ice cream to keep it from dripping? Do that under the rim of the head. French kiss the head, Lick his balls and see how he responds to you just pulling (sucking) one into your mouth. Some men love it, others don't care for it. Use your hands too. Ask him to show you how he uses his hands, most guys have a very specific pattern of movement and pressure that they use. Don't be afraid to vary that. Men usually have a pretty strong grip on themselves when they masturbate, its up to you to chose what is most comfortable for you and fits what you are trying to do. If you want to get him to cum, use a firmer grip, if you are arousing him but to save the grand finale for intercourse then use a less form grip and vary it more. Once you get more comfortable with oral and hand play and learn his responses you can get him relaxed and riding a wave of pleasure for some time without actually bringing him to ejaculation. Get him to give you feed back about what feels good and the general more here, less there, kind of thing.

Do not allow him to grab your head and start thrusting. As a newbie there is no way you can handle that without it being very uncomfortable for you and you don't have the skill yet to keep your teeth out of the picture. Although men who do that are almost asking to be scraped up.