I can't orgasm like I used to?

**Julie154** · 04-22-2011 09:38 PM

I'm 18 and a virgin, but I've been masturbating since I as a kid. I found out how to do it on accident when I was very young and of course did not even realize what it was I was doing until I was about 11 or 12. I stimulate myself just by rubbing, I've never even had to take off my pants to do it and the orgasms felt amazing.
Recently though, that's changed. I can barely orgasm anymore, and I have to work soooo hard just get the lamest orgasm to the point that it's not even worth pleasuring myself anymore. It sucks.

What's really weird is that this started happening when I got together with my first bf in the beginning of the year, and that's when I started getting especially horny. I thought maybe it was a result of masturbating too much so I stopped for a while, started up again. It didn't work though and my orgasm are still sh*t.
I'm so nervous that I ruined it for me by doing it too much, and even more afraid that I've now ruined sex for myself! I think I still have the ability to orgasm, though, because I'm sort of seeing a new guy and I've felt it a lot (I haven't reached it though) when we make out and stuff. He's fingered me, but it's mostly just hurt because he hasn't done it right. I think if he did though I could get a good orgasm! Or at least I hope so! Can anyone tell me for sure?

**jns** · 04-22-2011 11:15 PM

This is one of the problems with young guys, they don't have experience. So you have to teach them what feels good. Has he tried oral sex on you? Many women like that even better. If he uses his fingers he should make sure not to directly touch the clitoris when it sticks out from under its hood. That can be painful. He should stimulate through the hood.

**Julie154** · 04-23-2011 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by jns

This is one of the problems with young guys, they don't have experience. So you have to teach them what feels good. Has he tried oral sex on you? Many women like that even better. If he uses his fingers he should make sure not to directly touch the clitoris when it sticks out from under its hood. That can be painful. He should stimulate through the hood.

He hasn't tried oral, and I doubt I will have him do so considering I'm probably not going to be with him anymore (which is a long and not all that interesting story). I know that it's probably only hurting because he's inexperienced and if I was planning on staying with him I'd be willing to work through it.

But my real concern and the point of me posting this thread is that I'm all nervous about being unable to reach orgasm by pleasuring myself. I mean I'm only 18! I worry that I've already pleasured myself too often and that I've messed things up for myself.

**FortunsFoole** · 04-23-2011 01:43 PM

Is it possible that you're thinking too much on whether or not you'll have an orgasm? Sometimes that can cause enough anxiety to stall things. Maybe just try not even thinking about the orgasm itself. Have zero intentions of bringing yourself to orgasm.. just enjoy the sensations... pretend like you've never had one and are starting all over again to relearn what your body likes.No pressure and no disappointment whenever you decide you're done. Enjoy the feeling without release. Maybe that will be enough to eventually have them start happening again?

**jns** · 04-23-2011 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by Julie154

He hasn't tried oral, and I doubt I will have him do so considering I'm probably not going to be with him anymore (which is a long and not all that interesting story). I know that it's probably only hurting because he's inexperienced and if I was planning on staying with him I'd be willing to work through it.

But my real concern and the point of me posting this thread is that I'm all nervous about being unable to reach orgasm by pleasuring myself. I mean I'm only 18! I worry that I've already pleasured myself too often and that I've messed things up for myself.

You have not messed things up. Your body requires something different than it used to to reach the climax. It will take an open mind, patience and experimenting. Consider it a challenge instead of being anxious. After all, maybe you will find a way to have orgasms even more powerful. What you did at first was found by accident. This time it will be on purpose and you will learn a lot about your body and its reactions. Start by learning what turns you on. Pressure, action, location, smell, taste, fullness, sounds, sights, other actions done at the same time, focus, dreaminess, relaxation, excitement, how rested you are, sleepiness, etc. Then set the mood by using the elements you respond strongly to. Finally do the rubbing that feels best in the way and pace that feels best. If you feel something is not working, bring in something else that worked before.

**TeenageDream** · 04-25-2011 08:39 PM

What I do to orgasm is, sometimes if I feel down I watch a little orgasm porn. Yeah, lame I know. But I'm 17 and the orgasms are insane when I do the porn bit. Also, tease yourself like crazy and hold back from orgasming as much as possible. Then, when you feel like your clit is about to get too sensitive to touch, push it all out and moan like crazy. Graphic, but true. Good luck (:

**teenie** · 04-27-2011 08:44 AM

No. I'm sorry but if you are like me they will not get better. Sorry to tell you. The more sexual i am the weaker and crappier my orgasms are, i dunno why. I do think it has something to do with stretching the hymen, even though people think this has nothing to do with pleasure, in my case, you are wrong. From the first time i got fingered i noticed a difference in my pleasure.
When they started using 2 fingers, again a decrease.
Sex? Again a decrease.
They feel entirely different in a bad way. But i tell you what? Your best friends are your brain, and your lack of memory. You will soon forget how awesome they once felt and simply accept and get used to how they are now. Then you will use your brain for arousal and satisfaction. Reminding yourself that your lover tried to hard to satisfy you. And that will be enough.

Again, sorry to be the bearer of good news but you sound exactly like me so i thought i'd share (literally everything you said is my life).

I have only had difficulty reaching orgasm for a small amount of time, right when i started having sex. So, then i got used to it and stop pleasing myself entirely, waiting long periods between sex, to keep myself excited and sensitive and wanting.

HTH!