sexual middle ground?

**Masurao** · 04-25-2011 12:14 AM

ok...so ive dated this female for almost 4mos now whoot whoot!
most of which has been long distance booo!!!
ok so ive actually known her for say...almost a yr we were friends before like 7monthes b4 we became a thing..

ok so now heres the dealio...shes 900+ miles away and im doing well with that
but im a VERY sexual person i like to talk about it *educationally* do it, draw it, what ever make poetry about it whatever,
my problem is cant, or rather i choose to keep her out of my sexual stuff here at home because she thinks im being crude and gross and ..immature. i dont bring it up in a nasty way. but even if i try to play around she gets all..Chasity belt on me. shes 3yrs older than me shes gonna be 27 this year and im gonna be 24..is the age gap making this a hormone issue? or am i just actting like a teenage boy...?

also when she was here last..almost a month ago* she told me she doesnt see her self having sex everyday..which i DONT want either, but i like to kiss and cuddle and touch like..arms n hands..n stuff..what do call that?

it doesnt have to lead to sex. every single time :< but i really enjoy that. should i just slow down? i know i might come of like im leading with my crotch but im not.

is there a middle ground? or a safe way to talk about ths without causing friction to a long distance relationship??

**Masurao** · 04-25-2011 10:43 AM

..59 views and no advice?

**ItsASecret** · 04-25-2011 10:46 AM

..59 views and no advice?

Many people who view the site are not members so they cannot post a reply.

When you say she gets all chastity belt on you what exactly is the material that you use "educationally" at home that makes her so repulsed?

**BasketCase** · 04-25-2011 10:50 AM

I am a little confused about what it is that you have done to make her shy away, especially if you are long distance? Anyway all I can say is three months might be a little early to put all your sexual fantasy's out on the table. Leave sex out of the conversation for a while. Maybe she needs more time.

**Masurao** · 04-25-2011 11:41 AM

secret, all sorts of fun facts like how diet can affect taste and smell, massages and exercies that can aid in overall vajayjay health. its like..im a walking sex ed class

if i could id teach i love the literal side of sex and things relating to it...

BC im not drowning her ear canal with what i wanna do to her or visa versa ect ect, we have alrdy been through the.. *sexting* sex+textn=?? anyway i recently lost my granny and of course she knew about that. but a few days later she was like..why dont us end me sexy txts any more??
*wanted to say..woman my granny just died iver never lost a family member before this is my first back off plz sex isnt on my mind ATM* i dunno either she is older than me..so maybe thats it? im a semi energetic 23 yr old and shes a 26yr old who acts like shes 50... -.-

**ItsASecret** · 04-25-2011 11:53 AM

I am 22 and I could easily pass for a 90 year old in the activity department...not my thing at all lol.

As for the fun facts, maybe keep it to a minimum. I am full of facts and my bf gets annoyed if I get too literal...because I am a very realistic person to begin with I rarely end up joking about cum or whatever position. I am not sure if you let the material out at any opportunity to talk to her or not but it can get to be a bit much. Things are okay if they pop up in a conversation but if she is already shy about some sex material than saying something like "did you know if you smoke too much your vagina can taste horrible??" or "did you know that if you exercise your PC muscles than you will not feel so loose" can make her shy away even more...I am not saying you say things like that I am just using them as an example of factual material.

Some people are just not into the goofy sex stuff and do like to keep things literal. You have to find out where she is at with that. If she is a girl who likes the occasional joke than keep it at an occasional joke.

**pretzel** · 04-25-2011 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by Masurao

secret, all sorts of fun facts like how diet can affect taste and smell, massages and exercies that can aid in overall vajayjay health. its like..im a walking sex ed class

if i could id teach i love the literal side of sex and things relating to it...

This quickly into a new relationship, this may not be the best of topics to have at the forefront of conversations.

Originally Posted by Masurao

BC im not drowning her ear canal with what i wanna do to her or visa versa ect ect, we have alrdy been through the.. *sexting* sex+textn=?? anyway i recently lost my granny and of course she knew about that. but a few days later she was like..why dont us end me sexy txts any more??
*wanted to say..woman my granny just died iver never lost a family member before this is my first back off plz sex isnt on my mind ATM* i dunno either she is older than me..so maybe thats it? im a semi energetic 23 yr old and shes a 26yr old who acts like shes 50... -.-

You think that maybe the two of you have different goals for this relationship right now?

**Masurao** · 04-25-2011 12:04 PM

..hmm true..i know i can be a bit pressing on some things. but i didn't really think that maybe *dur dur dur* theres some reason why shes shy..either because shes shy about sex *super southern baptist upbringing* and a lil sheltered not to mention her..*sex-capades...as a teen she could have unresolved issues there and i could be compounding the issue..

i feel like an insensitive prick now ><'

i wanna help..but maybe more cold showers are in my future...
do u think i should drop it.? and only let her approach sex topics? or only offer my FYIs when she asks ^^''

**Masurao** · 04-25-2011 12:08 PM

pretz! well...we have had discussions about it in the past in great length and detail..she was the one who said she wanted to KNW ALL my fantasizes..like up front, i was lead to believe it was ok? because of this n many other indicators, ive known her a while prior to us dating, we were best friends i can say, we just ended up catching feelings. i knew alot about her sexually even before we dated. we were very open and comfortable with that aspect..but now that we are a thing its like she doesnt wanna be bothered with small things like.. affections.. *it isnt all about the sex for me* i just wanna feel wanted*

**pretzel** · 04-25-2011 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by Masurao

pretz! well...we have had discussions about it in the past in great length and detail..she was the one who said she wanted to KNW ALL my fantasizes..like up front, i was lead to believe it was ok? because of this n many other indicators, ive known her a while prior to us dating, we were best friends i can say, we just ended up catching feelings. i knew alot about her sexually even before we dated. we were very open and comfortable with that aspect..but now that we are a thing its like she doesnt wanna be bothered with small things like.. affections.. *it isnt all about the sex for me* i just wanna feel wanted*

Real quick question. Have you ever asked her if she felt that the two of you were better as friends than lovers? Would you be comfortable broaching this subject yourself?