Friends With Benefits. Opinions?

**TeenageDream** · 04-27-2011 02:27 AM

A guy friend of mine is trying to convince me to be Friends With Benefits. At first, I thought he was just messing with me. (He has a sick sense of humor) But then I realized, he was being very much serious. He asked me to come over and we'd have a make-out session and if I want to go farther we can. What now? I'm a virgin 17 year old. I was hoping to save all that sex stuff for marriage, but this peer pressure is flushing that all down the toilet.

What would you do in my place?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-27-2011 02:58 AM

What now? I'm a virgin 17 year old. I was hoping to save all that sex stuff for marriage, but this peer pressure is flushing that all down the toilet.

Hope is a word that means a wish.... A wish is completely up to you, you can have it.

Pressure? No sweet, he will be okay with you saying "you know what? go find the next virgin sweet, you all try it on, I'm flattered but I'm saving myself" He will respect that still probably try but respect it.

You need to understand EVERY young male will do this to you, and you will feel horrible after when they ditch you for a "nice girl" as they view you as not, yet you are, does that make sense? Do you want that?

You only do something because you WANT to do it, there is no such thing as pressure rather standing your ground.

Sure, other girls will say they did but did they? Often they fib and if they did did they regret it, the way they were treated after? You can bet they did, but they lied....Tell them you have a boyfriend on the net, glam it up if you have to, to feel okay about not getting out of face a sort of white lie... That you are are love, met on facebook what ever...But don't ever do something due to peer pressure or some dude trying to score a virgin because that's what's happening.

CW

**Agony_Aunt** · 04-27-2011 03:54 AM

Nope, I don't think your first time should be as friends with benefits.

Your first time is special, and should be with someone you love and respect, vice versa. Many people just in to this decision and later regret how they had their first time, I know I regret mine.
If you want to wait, then wait.
As you said peer pressure, you obviously feel a bit pressured, but as he is is your friend, when you tell him you want to wait, he should and will understand.

Its also better in my opinion, if he's looking for a friend with benefits, it shouldn't be with a friend who he is very close with. Because friends with benefits means there is no emotional feelings involved for each other, simply just sex. And it can become complicated and difficult if feelings arise, but are only one sided.

**kristalyn_04** · 04-27-2011 11:20 AM

No, no dear... you do not want to get yourself into this situation. FWB's are for two sexually experienced adults who aren't looking for a commitment, just to get their sexual needs met. It's risky, for a few reasons.If one person ends up developing feelings and wanting more, they can get hurt. Also, all FWB situations eventually come to an end, and if this person is a close friend, you could end up losing the friendship later on. And, more importantly, usually FWB's are not exclusive, so they are free to date and have sex with others, which puts you at even greater risk for getting an STD if you both are not VERY careful. So, this is not something a young teenage virgin should be getting into. This guy wants to take advantage of you, don't let him. Be smart, be safe.

**Seeker_Advice** · 04-27-2011 11:26 AM

"...save all that sex stuff for marriage..."

Good for you!

Sex/making love/physical intimacy is the greatest thing two people can share, but ONLY when you're ready.

Do you really want to be used by a "friend" in this way? It sounds to me like he is after something that he can't get else where, so he is leaning on a friend to satisfy his need. He sounds pretty selfish to me.

**sungoddesschelsy** · 04-27-2011 11:29 AM

I wouldn't be able to see this person as much of a friend after that proposition...

Don't do it... you'll regret it later.

**SaharaJim** · 04-27-2011 12:21 PM

yeah.....what they said!

**Sally Rand** · 04-28-2011 07:55 AM

"Friends with Benefits" is an oxy moron. A friend cares and respects you. There is nothing respectful about casual sex. He is not a friend. He is not being respectful of you, there is no reason to waste time, let alone affection on him. Walk away, you deserve better.

**spurzzz** · 04-28-2011 10:14 AM

Probably wants to get in your knickers and brag about "doing a virgin" to his pals down the pub

I've watched a lot of Eastenders.

Stay clear and make that first time special. If you don't, you will regret it......

**WildChild** · 04-28-2011 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by spurzzz

I've watched a lot of Eastenders.

.

The source of all life information.
LOL, Used to watch that myself.

Casual sex can be fine if you are in a safe sex community where everyone understands and respects the limits. You are young and sexually inexperienced. Save your first time to be with someone you choose for your own reasons.